Andrew Heller

Best. Columnist. Ever.

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The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the death of DACA

September 10, 2017 by Andrew Heller 42 Comments

Donald Trump should have to meet with the 700,000 children and adults who face deportation when the DACA program ends and explain why he canceled it, but only after a dose of truth serum. I think it would go like this: Immigrants: “Mr. President, why are you kicking us out of … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor, National politics

Hey, UM, leave the poor groundhogs alone

September 6, 2017 by Andrew Heller 15 Comments

  The University of Michigan is catching heat for stuffing dry ice down groundhog holes to kill the little buggers, which are apparently chunneling the heck of out north campus. The university is worried their passageways will “undermine the foundations of structures, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com

Surveyin’ da Situation: I’m not an antique and neither is my Jeep, as far as I know

September 2, 2017 by John Matonich 12 Comments

By John Matonich I don’t think anything brings people together more than a shared interest or a shared goal. You can see it all the time especially when it comes to things like sports. The day of a big game, the jerseys come out and are worn with pride. You can also see them … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Guest columnists, Humor, John Matonich Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, john matonich

The tragedy of Early Onset Empty Nest Syndrome (EOENS)

August 20, 2017 by Andrew Heller 23 Comments

If I were to write the headline for this column, it would be “That stupid, stupid school bus.” Eighteen years ago, Sam, our oldest, stepped onto one for the first time. I remember getting misty about it because I’m a great, big, giant sap about that sort of thing. I wrote a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, school bus

It’s time to take Trump’s word for what he is

August 13, 2017 by Andrew Heller 98 Comments

With his everybody-is-to-blame response to the violence in Charlottesville, Virginia, President Trump officially became the leader of white nationalists, American Nazis, neo-Confederates, anti-semitics and alt-right haters across the nation. And it seemed almost … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor, National politics Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com

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About The Author

Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water I is the collection readers asked for, and includes columns that they wanted reprints of.

In true Heller style, topics cover everything from the craziness of having kids to tales from his U.P. days.

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BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water 2-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water II is the smash hit follow-up to Come Heller High Water I. It includes everything from Andy's takes on modern life to conversations with his back home pal Moon Dimple, and much, much more.
 

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BOOK: Saving the World One Column at a Time Paperback  ISBN-10: 0971495114 ISBN-13: 978-0971495111

Saving the World One Column at a Time is a bitingly funny look at the world through the eyes of this award-winning columnist. In it he takes on corporate crooks, Little League parents, tongue piercers, ketchup sinners and much, much more. A must-have for Heller fans.

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