Andrew Heller

Best. Columnist. Ever.

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Surveyin’ da Situation: Sometimes we can all use a little good news

August 12, 2017 by John Matonich 15 Comments

  By John Matonich I was listening to the news on the radio the other day and heard a report about a young lad who was reunited with his teddy bear at the Dallas Airport. He put his bear down while his parents were retrieving their luggage at baggage claim and forgot … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Guest columnists, John Matonich Tagged With: john matonich

Come Heller high water … the Aug. 9th edition

August 9, 2017 by Andrew Heller 22 Comments

Come Heller high water … Don’t even try to come up with something better. I’m declaring right here, right now the best news story of the week to be the giant inflatable Trump Chicken staring at the West Wing from outside White House grounds. It was put there by protesters … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, Come Heller high water

Finally, a solution for the scourge of mall foot

August 6, 2017 by Andrew Heller 9 Comments

A mall in China has installed what are being called “husband storage pods,” which contain a comfortable chair and video games to help him pass the time while she shops. American malls and big box stores, please follow suit. I don’t necessarily need the video games, although … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com

Surveyin’ da Situation: Of backsides and tea kettles

August 5, 2017 by Andrew Heller 19 Comments

By John Matonich I was heading into the shop the other day from the lake. It was a beautiful morning and a lot of folks were out and about on the roadway that runs along the lake’s east shore. It is the height of the summer season and not only are there a lot of seasonal … [Read more...]

Filed Under: John Matonich Tagged With: Andrew Heller, john matonich

Auchtoon time: Faith is more than pretty words

August 2, 2017 by John Auchter 33 Comments

Toon and text by John Auchter This week's cartoon is an open question to my fellow Christians. It's not intended to exclude non-Christians — you're certainly welcome to ponder it, too. It's just that I've never committed myself to a non-Christian faith or philosophy, so I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Auchtoons, Guest columnists Tagged With: andrewheller.com, John Auchter

Big Brother isn’t going to microchip me

July 30, 2017 by Andrew Heller 15 Comments

A Wisconsin software company is offering to implant microchips into employees’ hands so they can effortlessly make purchases in the break room, open doors, log in to computers, use the copy machine and so forth. My first reaction is “How lazy are these people?” I mean, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com

Surveyin’ da Situation: The joy of gabbing

July 29, 2017 by John Matonich 7 Comments

By John Matonich I always enjoy being able to sit with some folks and simply have a conversation. The topics typically vary from sports to politics to local gossip. The chatter is usually lighthearted, but can certainly turn serious from time to time. I am more of a fan of the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Guest columnists, John Matonich Tagged With: andrewheller.com, john matonich

Come Heller high water … the July 27th edition

July 27, 2017 by Andrew Heller 17 Comments

Come Heller high water … So, for my Flint area friends, I’m hearing that Durand’s mysterious “Project Tim” might very well be a Tesla plant. If this turns out to be incorrect, I’ll deny I ever said it. But if I’m right, then, well, I told you so and you should have listened … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, Come Heller high water

Auchtoon Time: Republicans choosing ideology over common sense when it comes to health care

July 23, 2017 by John Auchter 5 Comments

Toon & text by John Auchter If you need some perspective for this health care madness, reporter and author T.R. Reid is a pretty good place to start. Reid is an American but has lived overseas (Japan and the UK) and also has firsthand experience with seeking medical … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Auchtoons, Humor Tagged With: andrewheller.com, John Auchter

Surveyin’ da Situation: The tireless power of words

July 22, 2017 by John Matonich 12 Comments

By John Matonich I was traveling to my shop the other day when I saw a semi stopped alongside the road. The driver was standing outside talking on his cell phone. I slowed down to see if he needed any help, but he said he was set and waved me on. As I headed down the road, I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: John Matonich Tagged With: andrewheller.com, john matonich

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About The Author

Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water I is the collection readers asked for, and includes columns that they wanted reprints of.

In true Heller style, topics cover everything from the craziness of having kids to tales from his U.P. days.

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BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water 2-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water II is the smash hit follow-up to Come Heller High Water I. It includes everything from Andy's takes on modern life to conversations with his back home pal Moon Dimple, and much, much more.
 

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BOOK: Saving the World One Column at a Time Paperback  ISBN-10: 0971495114 ISBN-13: 978-0971495111

Saving the World One Column at a Time is a bitingly funny look at the world through the eyes of this award-winning columnist. In it he takes on corporate crooks, Little League parents, tongue piercers, ketchup sinners and much, much more. A must-have for Heller fans.

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