Andrew Heller

Best. Columnist. Ever.

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Hell in a handbasket? Not so – the world is doing better than you think

May 27, 2018 by Andrew Heller 41 Comments

There are several popular business/self-improvement books out there now (“Factfulness” and “Enlightenment Now”) that make the case that the world is objectively a much better place than it has ever been.The authors don’t base their position on flaccid, positive-thinking mumbo … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com

MSU is better than this … or maybe not

May 20, 2018 by Andrew Heller 19 Comments

Here’s a headline that ought to make your blood boil: “MSU's $500M payout could mean tuition hike, using taxpayer money.” The reference is to the lawsuit settlement between the university and the 332 victims (to date) of serial molester and former MSU gymnastics doctor Larry … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns Tagged With: Andrew Heller, MSU, Nassar

Just admit it, positive people, this weather sucks

April 18, 2018 by Andrew Heller 18 Comments

  The weather in Michigan this April has made just about everybody crazy. After five long months of winter glop already, a sixth seems like some kind of sick punishment. Everyone is tired of it. Except for the incessantly positive people, of course. I ran into one … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, snow

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be teachers

March 18, 2018 by Andrew Heller 146 Comments

Waylon Jenning used to sing "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys." I'd make it teachers these days. In fact, if I were a college student in America today, I would never consider becoming a public school teacher. Those who do teach deserve everlasting respect as … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, teachers

How did they ever get us to do this?

March 11, 2018 by Andrew Heller 30 Comments

One of my duties as a columnist is to make the world a better place by sarcastically complaining about trivial things that I think need improving. Someone has to do it. You’re welcome. Today’s complaint is fast food. I typically don’t eat in fast food establishments because … [Read more...]

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: andrewhellercolumn.com, humor

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About The Author

Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water I is the collection readers asked for, and includes columns that they wanted reprints of.

In true Heller style, topics cover everything from the craziness of having kids to tales from his U.P. days.

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BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water 2-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water II is the smash hit follow-up to Come Heller High Water I. It includes everything from Andy's takes on modern life to conversations with his back home pal Moon Dimple, and much, much more.
 

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BOOK: Saving the World One Column at a Time Paperback  ISBN-10: 0971495114 ISBN-13: 978-0971495111

Saving the World One Column at a Time is a bitingly funny look at the world through the eyes of this award-winning columnist. In it he takes on corporate crooks, Little League parents, tongue piercers, ketchup sinners and much, much more. A must-have for Heller fans.

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