Today is Father’s Day. I’ve never claimed to be the World’s Best Dad, but I have learned a few things over the past 22 years, many of them, oddly enough, from watching the lovely yet formidable 
Marcia, who is great dad and mom all rolled into one:
- Being silly and playing with your kids is one of the best things you can do as a dad. Fortunately, this has never been hard for me since, near as I can tell, I’ve never grown up.
- Hug them early and often – every day – or they’ll never let you hug them later on when you really want to or when they really need it.
- It’s OK to play the gruff, protective dad with your teenage daughter when it comes to boys. She’ll probably like it in a weird sort of way – like someone is watching out for her. I’ve teased Annie for years that no boy will ever be good enough for her. Somehow I think that’s encouraged her to be choosy. Which is good.
- Hold the door for women and your boys will grow up to hold doors for women and come to view women as special, which they are. Besides, it’s just nice. We need all the manners and courtesy we can get in this day and age.
- Letting your kids catch you in mistakes and laughing along with them as they laugh at you is important. I don’t know why, it just is.
- Don’t use baby talk with babies and infants. Talk to them like people from day one and they’ll grow up with amazing language skills. Kids who can express themselves, I think, have fewer problems.
- If you’re sarcastic, your kids will be sarcastic. This is a good thing in my mind. I like sarcastic people.
- Girls should learn to jack a car and fix stuff and boys should learn to cook and clean. Getting the former to go along with this plan is much easier than getting the latter to do it. (Right, boys?)
- The more you read to your kids early on – and the more they see you read – the smarter they’ll be. This might the truest thing I’ve ever said. Have stacks of books everywhere.
- If you want to get information out of your teenage son about his life and feelings, do it while shooting baskets with him. I don’t know why that works, but it seems to.
- Most problems kids have can be solved by going for ice cream. (It works with adults, too.)
- Annoy your kids by telling them how much you love you them. It’s not fatal. No kid ever died from being told they matter.
- Tell them this: “No one is good at anything the first time they do something. And no one was born to do anything. People get good at stuff they care about by working hard at it. Beethoven wasn’t born knowing how to compose.” Because it’s true.
- Cherish every second. Yeah, yeah, everyone says that. But it’s true. Two of my wonderful kids – Sam and Annie – are grown and off to college. The last wonderful kid – Henry – is halfway through high school.
When they’re all gone for good I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.
(Note: Yes, dadgum it, that’s a Christmas photo. Do you know how hard it is to herd the cats into one spot at the same time, especially when two of them – I’ll give you one guess which two – act like having their photo taken sucks away part of the souls? I took what I could get, OK? Sorry it’s a bit blurry, though.)
Beautiful family. They don’t happen by luck. Congratulations
Excellent column…some of the best advice anyone can give, most are timeless traditions. Keep it up!
Funny & Right on as usual
Right on!
Right on!
Right on!
You get the idea. This is great!
Happy Father’s Day!
You ought to be published!
Great advice, Andy! Super looking family. Everyone should have a Dad that lives this advice. And I do mean lives not gives.
Wonderful column and oh so true. By the way, you have a beautiful family.
I love that you think sarcasm is an asset; not everyone does. All around great advice. Happy Father’s Day.
It better be an asset or I’m in serious trouble.
I could tell you and Marcia had a lot of these great ideas in place when I taught Sam many years ago!
Happy Father’s Day!
Ha, thanks for putting up with him, Carol!
He’s off to a top law school, by the way. Ridiculously smart dude.
Andy, that cracks me up. My Dad offered to put me thru law school when I was age 33, he said I wasting my intelligence in a nowhere job at General Motors. I showed him my $85,000.00 W2 form, he said “forget what I just said, you’re buying the next round”. I turned down promotion to officer in the Army and supervisor at more than one job,…
I’ve always enjoyed physical labor and the lack of responsibility it affords me, it’s much more fun to be the court jester than the king. Read your history, the jester was often the king’s closest advisor.
I remember reading your column(s) when you and Marcia were expecting Sam and how concerned you were that you’d be a good father. I think you did ok.
I saw my dad about every five years until I looked him up when I was 27. I phoned my stepdad yesterday (ex-stepdad?) Mom divorced both after ten years. I sent a sentimental Father’s Day card too rather than my normal humorous card. Since Leon has no biological offspring and neither do I it was perfect, the card was sort of about how many people you left a positive impact on. I know I’ve had both positive and negative influence on our younger generations, I like to think mostly positive.
Totally off topic but damn I’m a happy camper today, I found pleated sandwich bags at the grocery store when I was beginning to wonder is they were obsolete. Zip locks have their purpose but for a guy that gets his hands dirty there is no substitute for a pleated sandwich bag which I can open and close without touching the contents with anything but my mouth. Wash your hands you might say, certainly if you have that convenience. Wear gloves? like touching my food with my sweaty hands is appetizing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not squeamish or above the two second rule as if I dropped a piece of meat on the ground or floor I would eat it or feed it to one of my best friends. (I’d tell them when they were half way done eating telling me how good it was). I suspect Andy’s pal Moon Dimple would approve.
They will always be a part of their lives no matter what. They are the parents of your grandchildren-to-be, and that is a whole new source of joy. Happy Fathers Day.
Only thing I might add, for new fathers and mothers: The darn kids have their own personalities. Everything they are does not come from you. Nobody can tell where these things come from. Inexplicable. So, 1. You need to respect their own “personhood,” even when they are young; and, 2. Do not blame yourself for every silly or bad thing they do.