Come Heller high water…
- Best moment of the week: Seeing the first-ever image of an actual black hole 55 million light years away. How amazing was that? That’s the kind of thing that restores my faith in humanity. We can be really, really smart and cool when we want to be.
One news report described black holes as “the universe’s most powerful vacuum.” I’ll bet it still doesn’t work very well on pet hair.- Forget politics. I want to know what we as a nation are doing about Russian interference in our elections? Have you noticed the silence on this? I don’t get it. If there’s one thing we can come together on, shouldn’t it be this?
- So glad to see Julian Assange kicked out of the Ecuadoran embassy and arrested. If there’s a guy who deserves to spend eternity in prison, it’s him. And can you imagine living inside an embassy for seven years and never going out. I’d have permanent spring fever within a month. Even worse would be hosting him that long. I don’t care how nice you are, a seven-year house guest would annoy anyone.
- Plus, c’mon, there’s a photo of his cat James wearing a collar and a tie. And not even a nice tie. A really horrible tie. Assange is a monster.
- I got an email from a dealership with this in the subject line: “About your recent service experience.” Experience? I didn’t have an experience. I had an oil change. Everything isn’t an “experience.” In fact, few things are.
- Don’t you think colleges should give a legacy discount to your kid if you went there?
- “Journey” is suddenly an annoyingly popular buzzword. People don’t have careers, lives, relationships, projects or medical problems anymore, they have “journeys.” As in: “Boy, getting the dog in for his deworming was quite the journey.” Really? I’m going on a vacation soon, which involves travel, meaning it’s an actual journey. I think I’ll stick to calling it a vacation, though.
- Last week, I griped about companies that don’t put prices on their website. Here’s gripe No. 2: Websites that don’t put their phone number, address and hours at the top. That’s the main reason most people GO to websites. Why do I have to do a scavenger hunt for basic information – because your web designer thought it looked nicer to hide that stuff?
- Gas is getting pricey again. Within 10 years, though, no one will care. Electric cars will be the norm by then. Kiss gas-gouging goodbye. What will OPEC hold over the world’s head then?
- The Masters is on. I love playing golf but I’ve never been able to enjoy more than five minutes of watching other people play it. The best part of watching it on TV is when someone flubs a shot or scores a triple bogey. That lets me feel momentarily superior.
- I like to picture the guy who invented it explaining it to a friend. “So, the object is to use this stick to hit this ball into a little hole that I dug over that way.” “What hole? I don’t see a hole? Where is it?” “Are you blind – 450 yards over that way, right over the pond and near that pile of sand.” Golf and hockey would be better sports if they doubled the size of the hole and net.
- Words I love: fizzle, cracker, ethereal.
- Thank you for reading this far, by the way. It’s been a real journey.
- “Lonely people tend, rather, to be lonely because they decline to bear the psychic costs of being around other humans. They are allergic to people. People affect them too strongly.” ― David Foster Wallace
Image credit: Event Horizon Telescope collaboration et al.
Cathy says
April 11, 2019 at 6:32 pmThank you for writing! I always enjoy your take on things and appreciate your sense of humor. Need the smiles with all the kookiness going on right now!
NativeOfMichigan says
April 11, 2019 at 6:50 pmJulian also didn’t clean up after his cat. If someone adopts his cat, they should rename it kittyleaks.
Jim says
April 11, 2019 at 7:00 pmThe “in” word that drives me crazy is “perfect” in response to almost anything. Placing my order with a waiter doesn’t make it “perfect” although that was the response. And that was the response when I gave my telephone number when I requested a return call. Just “is” is not perfect.
Andrew Heller says
April 11, 2019 at 11:03 pmThat’s perfect. Of course.
Pauletta L Falls says
April 11, 2019 at 9:15 pmNo phone number on website might be my number one pet peeve. Drives me crazy. Should be upper left hand corner. Instead have to spend 15 minutes trying to find. I always enjoy your column.
Matthew says
April 11, 2019 at 10:35 pmWe have seen the black hole face-on. What does it look like from the side? Can they find another black hole that is tilted sideways toward us? Can they take that picture? I want to see it.
Abner Devereaux says
April 12, 2019 at 5:56 amThe Russians have never made up my mind in any election, for any candidate. No voting machine was ever hacked by the Russians. Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 Presidential election because she is Hillary Clinton. The Russians did not make her lose.
Illegal aliens voting is the very definition of foreign interference in our elections. We need arrests and deportations of illegals in order to protect the integrity of our elections.
Abner Devereaux says
April 12, 2019 at 6:02 amSpeaking of pricey gas, Whitmer wants to add $0.45/gallon to the price of gas just for starters. She will force single Moms to choose whether they buy gas or feed their children. Whitmer is a true nightmare. I think she would infinitely tax everything if she had her way.
Abner Devereaux says
April 12, 2019 at 6:05 amWhile the research into black holes is very cool, that image shown above is truly unimpressive. If someone didn’t tell you it depicted a black hole, you would have no idea what it was.
Brad says
April 12, 2019 at 10:49 amSpeaking of silence regarding collusion and interference, the liberal lemmings on this tiny site are discussing video games as sport, website contact etiquette and whether a trip can be labeled a ‘journey’. Gosh, I long for those halcyon days when the blog proprietor and his nitwits cheered the thought of executive branch treason. So quiet, so still, nothing but the sound of crickets. Alas, the party is over you say? A little birdie who’s seen the evidence says Obama administration stooges spied on candidate Trump. Interesting twist, no? Get some popcorn, act II begins now!
Matthew says
April 12, 2019 at 6:00 pmThe reply function does not work. Is it just for me? I see Andrew still is able to reply.
Jims says
April 12, 2019 at 6:25 pmWell let’s see if it works now!
Jims says
April 12, 2019 at 6:27 pmJust showed up as a new post Matthew.
Matthew says
April 12, 2019 at 8:10 pmNow, maybe it works. Did you reply to me? I am replying to you.
Matthew says
April 12, 2019 at 8:13 pmNo. Reply does not work, but Abner and that other guy have kooky and mean ideas.
jim iii says
April 13, 2019 at 1:02 pmI see that the democrat/liberal/socialists have their panties all bunched up in a huge knot over the latest item that President Trump has proposed.
What idea is he proposing now? He would like to transport all of the illegal immigrants that have illegally entered our country and or have not legally applied for asylum to the various cities that have claimed that they are sanctuary cities.
What does this policy do to the democrats/liberal/socialists? It highlights their nimbyness. What is nimbyness? Not In My Backyard.
The leaders of the sanctuary cities do not want ICE in their cities and will not allow the police to inform when a illegal alien is going to be released, even though the illegal has outstanding warrants for his/her arrest on Federal charges.
They are sanctuary cities in name only. They are calling such action as inhumane and other various things.
In their small bigoted minds, if the illegals are transported to republican cities/states it is ok with them. Transport illegals to sanctuary cites/states somehow is immoral and wrong.
At one site I visit there is a picture of AOC and a male latino standing side by side and the male is wearing a t-shirt that says “The future is Latino”. The left says nothing.
Now can you imagine the leftist outrage if some had white guy had worn a t-shirt that said “the future is white” next to a congressman.
jim iii says
April 13, 2019 at 9:43 pmUpdate to the previous policy. Instead of complaining about President Trump “dumping” the illegals in their cities, the mayors and others are now saying that they will welcome them with open arms. I say fine, just do not come running to CONgress for money when the cities run out of money and resources to to take care of them.
Matthew says
April 14, 2019 at 4:36 pmThe Detroit Tigers have a number of players with preppy-sounding names, e.g. Jacoby Jones, Gordon Beckham, Grayson Greiner, Reed Garrett. I am not saying these guys actually are preppy. I do not know them, but they do not have classic baseball-type names, e.g. Babe Ruth, No-Neck Williams, Brick McGurk, Buck Farmer, Chico Esquela, Gus Triandos.
We will see whether we can trust these Prepsters to come through in the major leagues. I hope so. Tigers my teem in twenty nineteen!
Doug says
April 15, 2019 at 10:35 amReading the latest column wasn’t just a journey or an amazing journey (another phrase I abhor), it was an experience!
Andrew Heller says
April 18, 2019 at 6:37 pmI completely agree. I’m like a good shampoo.
Matthew says
April 17, 2019 at 9:56 pmThis early part of this season, the Detroit Tigers have started some of their night games at 6:40 pm, rather than the usual time of 7:10. Starting a half hour early means ending a half hour early. I like it a lot! A half hour for goofing around, a half hour earlier bed time, sometimes.
I hope the Tigers will make 6:40 their new normal. Old fans will like it, and younger fans will not care.
Matthew says
April 18, 2019 at 2:31 pmThe Mueller Report is out:
1. The Russians really did affect our election, in favor of Trump.
2. Trump’s family, employees and friends met with Russian agents 140 times during the election! And afterwards, they lied about it. Come on! There is some connection. I do not want this Trump. What if they had met with Al Capone or El Chapo? Would you excuse that?
3. Trump wanted to interfere with justice. Established. Proven. Is he innocent? Even if he is, I do not want him.
jim iii says
April 18, 2019 at 6:53 pmWhat liberal/democratic/socialist site did you get your information. A lot of the liberals sites I visited never mentioned such figures. They too busy going off the rails about the Mueller report saying there was no collusion with the Russians. The Russians did not sway those who voted for President Trump. It was hilliary clinton and her track record over the past 45 years.
In our opinion she was not and is not a good person, much less as the president.
When hilliary Clinton was SOS slick willey was paid $500,000.00 to speak in front of a bunch of Russians. If there was any collusion it had to be between hilliary and the Russians.