Come Heller high water …
- The good news: The presidential campaign will be over in two weeks. The bad news: The next one starts a few seconds later.
- This has to stop, doesn’t it? I just saw on CNN that the campaign started 19 months ago when Ted Cruz declared his candidacy. Nineteen months! You can create entire human beings in half that time. Two, if you’re the Duggars.
- Pop star Sheryl Crow has started a change.org petition calling on Congress to shorten election campaigns. It says, “Countries across the globe have limited campaign seasons to as short as 6 weeks. With an organized system, a successful, informative, professional campaign could be run.” I wish her well, but I’ll bet when Congress reads that they’ll say, “Organized? Informative? Professional? Who does she think we are – NPR?”
- You know who we put in charge of elections if we want them quick, efficient and helpful? Moms. Moms don’t have time for unproductive nonsense. At least my mom didn’t. “Don’t give me any back talk, young man. Just get in there and get your homework done or no supper.” Maybe that’s how we get Congress to do something – no supper.
- Ack, the first snow of the year just hit my house. What do you mean “So?” It’s only October! And the first snow is always followed by another snow. And then another. And then another. Don’t you realize what this means? My god, it means six months of cold, gray crap! And this doesn’t bother you? Are you a cyborg? Do your toes not freeze?
- Dear Boss: For the next six months, I will be cyber-commuting into the office from Costa Rica …
- A federal judge this week lifted Michigan’s ban on taking photos of your completed voting ballot. Attorney General Bill Schuette is appealing. But why? What possible harm is there in taking a photo of your ballot and posting it online? I’m gonna do it, if for no other reason than I want to be able to prove to my grandkids that I voted against Trump.
- So if Trump wins, is the election still rigged?
- Someone please explain the Trivago.com pitchman’s appeal to me. I just don’t get it. He’s a middle-age guy who, inexplicably, wears low-rise jeans (making him the only middle-age guy to ever do this) and doesn’t shave. Why would I trust him for hotel advice?
- I view the Cleveland Indians now the same as I did before the season: On paper, the Tigers are/were a better team. Grit was the difference, I figure. Maybe moxie. Or gritty moxie. In any case, the Tigers didn’t/don’t have it.
- The Detroit Lions, meanwhile, are 4-3 and some fans are thinking playoffs. I can only assume these fans are new to the state. Every year the Lions look – for one fleeting moment – to be playoff bound. And then … kablam! It all blows up. My god, don’t you people learn?
- I like the idea of Halloween haunted houses, but not the execution. Every one I’ve been in is almost identical – mad scientist, crazy clown, guys in masks who jump out from behind you, a lot of fog and, of course, a chainsaw maniac chasing you out. Is that all there is? Someone ought to design a house of horrors for middle-age adults featuring credit card bills that chase you, lippy teenage kids and a %$#@! mower that just broke down for the 12th %$#@! time.
- “Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.” – Saint Francis de Sales.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey