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Come Heller high water … the December 7th edition

December 7, 2016 by Andrew Heller 19 Comments

recount-2Come Heller high water …

  • Republicans are fighting so ferociously against the Michigan presidential recount it’s making me think there might be something there. Otherwise, why get so upset? Wasn’t Trump saying BEFORE the election there was going to be fraud and he was going to ask for investigation? Well, here you go. And the notion that it’s not worth doing because it won’t change the outcome is baloney, too. If there’s something wrong or hinky, I wanna know about it. Election reviews should be an ordinary part of the process, in my mind. Why wouldn’t we want to double-check? I double-check to make sure I’m wearing matching socks every morning, for crying out loud.
  • column photo suitHere’s the detail that gets me: 84,000 Michigan ballots had no presidential choice. That’s either a lot of disgust or there’s something seriously wrong with the machines.
  • Trump appointed Dr. Ben Carson – a surgeon – to head up the Dept. of Housing and Urban Development. When asked about Carson’s lack of experience in housing, Trump said (and yes, I made this up) “What, he’s lived in houses.” By that logic, we should expect an actual secretary to get the Secretary of State job. (Trump: “What, she can type 100 words a minute.”)
  • Joe Biden says he’s going to run for president in 2020. I think I speak for at least 50 percent of America when I say: “A bit late now, Joe!”
  • How could any juror look at the video of North Charleston policeman Michael Slager calmly drawing his weapon and pumping five rounds into the back of a fleeing Walter Scott and go, “Gee, I know it looks bad but …” What a travesty of justice.
  • There’s a Shawn Mendes pop song out now in which he attempts to rhyme kisses with stitches, as in “I’m without your kisses; I’ll be needing stitches.” Drives me crazy. First, stitches and kisses do not rhyme. Stitches and switches, yes. Misses and kisses, yes. Stitches and kisses, not even close. Second, you need stitches because you’re without her kisses? Really? Get a dog. You’ll be OK. (It’s not, by the way. I suspect he’s trying to express that his metaphorical heart – torn apart by the absence of her affection – will require metaphorical surgery to mend, followed shortly thereafter by a massive, metaphorical hospital bill. If so, why didn’t he just say that: “I’m without your kisses; to heal my heart will need metaphorical surgery, including stitches, plus good insurance with a low deductible.” Guy clearly needs a writing lesson. I’m available for an incredibly large sum.)
  • Apparently I take teen pop songs way more seriously than I should. O-blah-di-o-blah-dah.
  • Amazon is testing a grocery store with no checkout. You just pick up the stuff you want and walk out. Or as some of my sketchier college friends used to call it “freshman year.”
  • A woman gave birth on a Southwest flight this week from Philadelphia to Orlando. The worst part was after the kid was born she had to buy another ticket. And you know there was some guy who griped, “Dammit, I specifically asked for the no birth section.”
  • Baseball player Bryce Harper is seeking a $400 million contract. He hit .243 last season. Somewhere Ted Williams’ head is rolling over in its cryogenic chamber.
  • “This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” – Alan Watts.

Filed Under: Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, Come Heller high water

Comments

  1. Bill says

    December 7, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    Andy – what’s a mid 50’s male like you doing listening to today’s Top 40 music? I’m not able to identify any of those so called songs. I may have heard of the artist or group somehow or another but couldn’t pick out their songs to save my life.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      December 7, 2016 at 6:42 pm

      Hey, you listen to what’s on, and the kids/wife rule the radio.

      Reply
  2. Cathy says

    December 7, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    With you on the detail that seems odd and double-checking the election results. Why would 84,000 people make the effort to get to the polls and skip the presidential choice? It’s the other stuff on the ballot folks usually pass over &/or have limited (if any) knowledge about.

    Reply
  3. Tom says

    December 7, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    Matching socks are not all they are cracked up to be. I my thirties I started wearing unmatched socks on purpose, sometimes even different-colored shoes. I got a good deal of attention from lovely women and from other interesting people I otherwise never would have met.

    Without reservation, I recommend unmatched colorful socks.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      December 7, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      I may have to try that. Or go back to wearing no socks, even in winter. I did that in college cuz my rad RA did it with Docksiders, and I thought it was cool.

      Reply
    • JohnnyD says

      December 7, 2016 at 7:33 pm

      Usually over time, all my socks become mismatched. The time it takes to sort em all out and find the match, I could have a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle done!

      Reply
  4. Lynne says

    December 7, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    Ha! More hearty laughs!! And learned a new hinky word, that’s actually for real.

    Reply
  5. Adam says

    December 7, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    You’re kinder that I.

    Screw Biden. He had his chance. History called him to step up, and he choked.

    Now we have Trump.

    Like Colin Powell in 1996, Biden was the one person in the world at that moment of history that could have did what needed to be done, but he decided it was too hard and wilted.

    I know that in both case the challenges, professional, institutional, emotional… were real and enormous. I’ll never deny that. But dammit, they were each put in a place where they were the one person at that moment in history that could have changed the world for the better, literally the world, and they decided it was too hard.

    No dammit, Biden left us with Hillary. Hillary left us with Trump. That should be his historical epitaph.

    Reply
    • Ray says

      December 7, 2016 at 10:31 pm

      Joe’s son died. I think he deserves a pass.

      Reply
      • Adam says

        December 7, 2016 at 11:02 pm

        I understand that, and like I said, I will never deny that his challenge was more than I hope to ever face.

        But history is replete with men and women that have experienced the loss of a child, and more, and still rose to the call of the common good.

        He didn’t.

        We can understand why, but that doesn’t change that he could have. He didn’t, and now we, the world, have Trump.

        Reply
  6. Tom says

    December 7, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    Off Topic, Maybe:
    Some judge just halted the vote recount in Michigan. Oy.

    We have had two elections in the past sixteen years when the popular vote would have elected the real winner, while the Electoral College elected the wrong winner.

    In 2000, Al Gore actually beat G.W. Bush, but the Supreme Court got involved. This year, Hillary actually beat Trump, but the FBI interfered in the last week of the campaign.

    Now, this Federal Court interferes!

    Rigged?!!!! Wrong, at least.

    Reply
  7. Jake says

    December 8, 2016 at 10:19 am

    Trump complain that there where millions of illegal votes, maybe he is afraid a recount would find out they were cast for him.

    Reply
  8. NativeOfMichigan says

    December 8, 2016 at 11:29 am

    Twitter-de-dee, Twiddle my thumbs,
    The Dump likes to tweet ’til his fingers are numb,
    Says his aide, “Please listen to me!”
    Just like Rome toasted while Nero twittered on his knee.

    Reply
  9. Tom says

    December 8, 2016 at 6:17 pm

    Mr. Trump will be in Grand Rapids tomorrow night. It would be interesting to see and hear him and his fans, in person. (I dislike him, but the election is over, and he is an (note Andy) historical figure.

    My wise beloved wife Cynthia will not go with me. She says she believes somebody might try to shoot him, and she does not want to get caught in the crossfire.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      December 8, 2016 at 6:36 pm

      Grammar: I should have written that Mr. Trump is an HISTORIC figure, rather than “historical.”

      Reply
  10. Jim III says

    December 8, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Andy,
    Sometimes I almost think you might have some common sense, but, reality comes along and brings me to my senses.
    The Federal judge that issued the opinion that jill what’s her name had no standing to ask for a recount. There was no chance of her getting enough votes to change the outcome in her favor.
    Here are some possible results of what could happen if the recount went on.
    A. The county clerks could not finish and certify the recount by the time of the electoral college
    this month. If that had happened the vote of the electoral college could not be held. Throwing the process into chaos. The election would then be in the House of Representatives.
    Democrat supporters would celebrate by rioting and burning down neighborhoods.
    Republicans would get on doing their work social life as usual.
    B. The House validates the electoral college and selects Donald as the President of the United States.
    Democrats supporters, snowflakes and the various other groups that oppose Donald Trump start rioting in the streets, burn down whole neighborhoods and do all sorts of other law breaking to protest the selection of Donald Trump.
    Republicans would get on with their work and social life. No rioting.
    C. The House selects hilliary as the president. Life will change. Slow at first, but it will change.
    Democrats will show their support and glee at hilliary becoming president. They show their approval by rioting and burning down neighbor hoods. Plus, doing all sorts of illegal activities.
    Republicans would get on with their lives.
    D. The house selects someone other than Donald or hilliary. Democrats again riot in the streets and burn down neighborhoods.
    Republican voters will begin to wonder what is going on. Any Republican congress critter will be met with a lot of republican voters asking why they selected who they selected.
    E. obama declares some sort of state of emergency voids the election. He may state that the American voters need a new clean slate of candidates. He, of course will stay on as president/dictator until after the next election.

    If Donald had lost the three states that jill has for a recount in, the democrats and the major media, ABC (Always Behind Clinton), NBC (Nobody But Clinton) CBS (Clinton Broadcasting Station) ,along with all the other clinton supporting media, would be screaming at Donald Trump to accept the results of the election.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      December 8, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      Jim, Did you read this over before you posted it? Convoluted, contradictory, not logical. Please edit yourself in the future, before you make us try to figure you out.

      Reply
  11. Jim III says

    December 8, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    Tom,
    You must be a liberal.
    I did not create these scenarios. I read them on other sites.
    In comparison my views are a lot tamer than those other posts.
    I do not think that it is convoluted.
    Far fetched? Maybe, but still possible. Especially the part where democrat supporters and snowflakes riot in the street. Do not believe me? Just look at some of the college age students
    protesting Donald Trump winning the election and what they were doing.
    Liberals are all for free speech and the 1st Amendment, so long as your say the same words
    that they say. Go against their thoughts and ideas and they get very upset.
    Democrats cannot stand the thought of someone thinking differently than them.
    I have worked with men and women whose job it was to think of possible scenarios that could happen in a given situation. Sometimes it was a real event, a lot of times though is was just a test situation.
    I have noticed one thing though. All those liberal hollywood types that said they would leave the
    country have not done so yet.

    Reply
  12. Tom says

    December 9, 2016 at 9:00 pm

    Tonight, I watched and listened to Mr. Trump. He spoke in my home town of Grand Rapids, but I did not go to hear him in person.

    First, nobody actually threatened him in any way, thank goodness. On TV, I saw three hecklers, but they did not actually disrupt. Good.

    Donald Trump is a great public speaker. He gave a good hour of good talk, with no notes. Extremely entertaining, better than any other American politician in my lifetime, and I am an old man. (Plus, I know a little bit about entertaining and public speaking.)

    One great quote. I never have heard this before. Did he write it?

    “We used to buy cars made in Flint. And you could not drink the water in Mexico… Now, we buy cars made in Mexico, and you can’t drink the water in Flint.”

    He reiterated some of his outrageous campaign points, but he also said some rational things. He said, “The script is not yet written.”

    We just have to wait to see what he does.

    I give him a great deal of credit just for speaking in an entertaining, organized, spontaneous way. Nobody else does it as well.

    Reply

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