Come Heller high water …
- Michigan schools can’t find nearly enough substitute teachers, which is why you’re seeing billboards all over the state advertising for them. One superintendent told the Free Press, “The state really needs to do something. We have to look at why are students not going into education.” She must be joking. What’s to look at? Just ask current teachers. They tell me all the time they’re tired of union-busting, tired of teaching to tests, tired of data-driven education to the exclusion of all else, tired of being treated like dirt by politicians and parents, tired of being blamed for not turning sow’s ears into silk purses, tired of large classroom sizes, tired of paying for their own classroom supplies, tired of idiots saying “they only work nine months,” tired of the low pay, tired of the declining benefits, tired of attacks on their pensions, tired of working nights and weekends, tired of being overly-scrutinized, and tired of being under-appreciated. Students look at all that stuff and think, “Yeah, maybe I’ll go into engineering … or anything else.” If we want the best and brightest to pick teaching, maybe we might want to try treating the teachers we’ve got a whole lot better.
- Being an ‘80s pop star seems like it was dangerous to your long-term health – Prince, George Michael, Michael Jackson and others, all gone. Hang in there, Madonna. You’re all we have left.
- You know how the ads on your computer screen change according to what “The Great Internet” (an omniscient character I just created) notices you’ve bought online or they think you’ll buy online someday? Well, the ads onscreen now are for Tecfidera and Mon Paris, so apparently either someone else has been using my computer or the Great Internet thinks I’m going to get multiple sclerosis and start buying lady perfume. Either way, I better ‘ask my doctor’ what’s going on like the ad says.
- Bold prediction: The Packers will whip the stuffing out of the Detroit Lions in their big showdown Sunday at Ford Field, and no Lions fan on the planet will be surprised.
- A new report says more and more air passengers are lying to the airlines so their pets can fly with them as service or emotional support animals. I can’t believe people would do that. I also can’t believe I never thought of that.
- No, seriously, I wouldn’t do that. I travel to get away from our dog, Tonka. Besides, if he flew with me, he’d try to hog half of the 12 mini-pretzels they give you.
- Seriously, though, don’t you think a dog would be a better seat companion than a third of the people you fly with? (It’s OK to admit it – you’re among friends here.) Although I hate to think what kind of condition they’d leave the bathroom in.
- Donald Trump is angry about President Obama’s comment that he’d have won if he could have run for a third term. In response, Trump tweeted, “Doing my best to disregard the many inflammatory President O statements and roadblocks. Thought it was going to be a smooth transition – NOT!” So if you had any lingering doubts about whether Trump does or does not have the thinnest skin ever in the history of mankind, you can now officially put them to rest.
- “Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” – Helen Keller.