Come Heller high water … the December 14th edition

Come Heller high water …

• Ten inches of snow? A polar vortex bringing single digit temps? People driving into ditches all over the place? Hey, Mother Nature, way to ease us into this whole winter thing. Much obliged. You have 100-degree days planned for the first day of spring?
• If this keeps up, my outdoor Christmas lights are staying up ‘til May, dear neighbors. Fair warning. Just think of them as New Year’s lights, M.L. King Jr. Day lights, President’s Day lights, Valentine’s Day lights, Groundhog Day lights and April Fool’s Day lights. Possibly May Day lights, although even I’m not that lazy.
• Yes, yes, yes, there’s no irrefutable evidence Trump won because of Russian hacking. But there’s also no evidence that he didn’t. The only way to even get a sense would be to poll voters and ask them if the stolen emails changed their minds about Hillary. If they did, that doesn’t mean there should be another election. There shouldn’t. Trump won. End of story. That doesn’t mean, however, that people of all political stripes shouldn’t be outraged. They should. This was a foreign attack, essentially. But they’re not. The lack of public outrage is odd. Maybe it’s election fatigue.
• Speaking of the Trumpster, he’s picked former Texas Gov. Rick Perry of Texas to be secretary of the Department of … of, um … you know, that one that deals with oil and stuff.
• The Department of Energy, in case you’ve forgotten, is the agency Perry couldn’t remember during the 2012 Republican presidential debate. At the time he said he would eliminate it if elected. Now he’s going to lead it. Maybe the government needs to create a Dept. of Painful Irony.
• Rick Perry is also famous for being on “Dancing with the Stars.” Personally, I think it ought to be a law that if you appear on that show, you can never again hold high federal office. Once you’ve worn spangles, your gravitas is gone.
• Trump is supposedly talking about having Mark Burnett, the creator of “The Apprentice” stage the inauguration. If so, I’m guessing Chief Justice John Roberts will end the oath of office with “You’re hired.” Please, God, no.
• It’s a crime we’ve done nothing while Syria slaughters its own people. This is President Obama’s biggest mistake.
• A new study says mass shootings happen less often in states with background checks on gun and ammo purchases and higher spending on education and mental health. Which is good to know. But will we act on it? Our track record says we won’t. We’re good at studying stuff, not so good at changing things. (BTW, there’s a mass shooting per week these days, compared to once a year a generation ago, according to the journal Injury Prevention. Fun stuff.)
• Snyder is expected to sign a bill raising the speed limit on 600 miles of rural roads to 75 mph. He said: “This increase will allow Michigan motorists to hit potholes even harder, thereby stimulating the economy by increasing business for repair shops statewide. So it’s a win-win.”
• OK, he didn’t really say that. But he should have.
• You didn’t ask but here are my Top 5 Christmas movies anyway: 5) Miracle on 34^th Street; 4) Die Hard (it is TOO a Christmas movie); 3) Love, Actually; 2) Elf; 1) A Christmas Story. (I dig me some Ralphie. I grew up like he did – ridiculously over-swaddled by a mom who thought being out in the cold caused colds. I remember not being able to put my arms down and not being able to get up if I fell on my back.)
• You may have noticed I committed movie sacrilege by not including “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Sorry. I think it’s depressing, and Jimmy Stewart chewed the scenery to bits, so to speak. Subtle, he was not.
• If someone could invent a way for me to feel like my 10-year-old self on Christmas, that would be the best Christmas gift of all.
• “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens.