Come Heller high water …
- My life seems so boring compared to Trump. The highlight of my week so far has been the check engine light going on. Meanwhile, Trump’s been sued by a porn star; seen his chief economic adviser quit; watched a former aide melt down on TV news show after TV news show before finally deciding to cooperate with investigators; been told by the U.S. Office of Special Counsel that Kellyanne Conway violated the Hatch Act by “advocating for and against candidates” in last year’s Alabama Senate special election; and tanked the stock market and infuriated the world by threatening to impose tariffs on steel and aluminum. And it’s only Wednesday. All in all, the check engine light doesn’t seem so bad now.
- The Michigan section of the American Society of Civil Engineer’s this week gave the state a D- for the condition of its roads, bridges, water treatment facilities and so forth. Clearly, they’ve been smoking something that’s not yet fully legal. Either that or these engineers live in Bloomfield Hills. Because when I look around I see an F or maybe a G state. Michigan has become a third world country in a lot of senses. And it’s not likely to change with the GOP in charge. They’ve convinced people that taxes are bad and not the price we pay for having a pleasant, functioning society. It might be time for Michigan to try a GoFundMe campaign.
- I would like to offer my full support for the online Grammar Phantoms who have been dogging Matthew McConaughey for saying on stage at the Oscars that film editing is “literally a magic trick.” Up with such language abuse, we shall not put. Figuratively, Matthew. Not literally. But it’s an easy mistake to make. There is literally no reason for the word literally to exist in the first place because it’s often literally redundant or unnecessary. Figuratively speaking.
- The fully tricked-out 2018 Lincoln Navigator costs more than $100,000 and is a crazy-hot seller. Lincoln can’t make enough of them. I’m not sure whether to be jealous or annoyed. I think the combined purchase price of every vehicle I’ve ever known wouldn’t add up to that.
- Have you ever noticed that whenever the East Coast gets a snowstorm, the networks treat it like it’s the end of mankind but when the Midwest gets a storm it’s considered “winter.” Maybe we’re just tougher out here in fly-over land.
- I love brewpubs. But how many brewpubs do we need? It seems like every quirky name for a brewery or a beer has been taken, except for maybe Squeaky Lizard. Or maybe Flatulent Porcupine. Patent pending, by the way.
- Thank heavens Daylight Saving Time starts Sunday. I almost experienced a sliver of daylight today before heading off to work to be inside all day. Whew. Close call.
- Here’s a weird one. Amazon Echo users are reporting numerous incidents of the Alexa voice laughing at them. This is why I keep that thing out of the bathroom. I have enough insecurities.
- “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey