Come Heller high water …
- My life seems so boring compared to Trump. The highlight of my week so far has been the check engine light going on. Meanwhile, Trump’s been sued by a porn star; seen his chief economic adviser quit; watched a former aide melt down on TV news show after TV news show before finally deciding to cooperate with investigators; been told by the U.S. Office of Special Counsel that Kellyanne Conway violated the Hatch Act by “advocating for and against candidates” in last year’s Alabama
Senate special election; and tanked the stock market and infuriated the world by threatening to impose tariffs on steel and aluminum. And it’s only Wednesday. All in all, the check engine light doesn’t seem so bad now. - The Michigan section of the American Society of Civil Engineer’s this week gave the state a D- for the condition of its roads, bridges, water treatment facilities and so forth. Clearly, they’ve been smoking something that’s not yet fully legal. Either that or these engineers live in Bloomfield Hills. Because when I look around I see an F or maybe a G state. Michigan has become a third world country in a lot of senses. And it’s not likely to change with the GOP in charge. They’ve convinced people that taxes are bad and not the price we pay for having a pleasant, functioning society. It might be time for Michigan to try a GoFundMe campaign.
- I would like to offer my full support for the online Grammar Phantoms who have been dogging Matthew McConaughey for saying on stage at the Oscars that film editing is “literally a magic trick.” Up with such language abuse, we shall not put. Figuratively, Matthew. Not literally. But it’s an easy mistake to make. There is literally no reason for the word literally to exist in the first place because it’s often literally redundant or unnecessary. Figuratively speaking.
- The fully tricked-out 2018 Lincoln Navigator costs more than $100,000 and is a crazy-hot seller. Lincoln can’t make enough of them. I’m not sure whether to be jealous or annoyed. I think the combined purchase price of every vehicle I’ve ever known wouldn’t add up to that.
- Have you ever noticed that whenever the East Coast gets a snowstorm, the networks treat it like it’s the end of mankind but when the Midwest gets a storm it’s considered “winter.” Maybe we’re just tougher out here in fly-over land.
- I love brewpubs. But how many brewpubs do we need? It seems like every quirky name for a brewery or a beer has been taken, except for maybe Squeaky Lizard. Or maybe Flatulent Porcupine. Patent pending, by the way.
- Thank heavens Daylight Saving Time starts Sunday. I almost experienced a sliver of daylight today before heading off to work to be inside all day. Whew. Close call.
- Here’s a weird one. Amazon Echo users are reporting numerous incidents of the Alexa voice laughing at them. This is why I keep that thing out of the bathroom. I have enough insecurities.
- “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey
Just another normal week in the life of trump.
Nothing to worry about according to Sarah Sanders, everything is going strong.
You know someone is the lowest of the low when a porn star is suing them.
A G grade stands for “God Awful” for those of you who aren’t sure.
Speaking of grades, this post gets a solid B, due to no less than two typos. I won’t tell you where. If you can find them I’ll give you an A+, because my approval matters…or something.
Who needs editors and proofreaders when you have fans who are happy to point out your typos while ignoring their own?
Shows what you know. There were FOUR typos, not two. The copy editor part of my brain took the night off.
Don’t give up, folks, 7 more years of good times, I love listening to your rants. It only hurts you!
/\/\/\
Denial is strong in this one. I would be impressed with this level of stubbornness, if I didn’t pity him so much.
What I notice is when guys like Ernie are confronted with the indefensible, they resort to gloating about the election a year an a half ago, or declaring victory in a future election as if that’s a cogent refutation of some sort to what is being presented…
Kudos to Ernie though for going that route and not even trying to pretend this stuff is “ok” or normal, because its not… I’ve been a conservative and I remember my peers (and sometimes me) losing their freaking minds when Clinton or Obama did something that Trump has done to the tenth power.
Mulligan indeed…
Thought this was your only job, Andy? Are you writing for someone else and not telling us?
Nope. This is my side gig. My day job is in PR/communications.
Okay, Big Boy, “literally” probably is okay here. “Literally magic.” The stuff they do with special effects really is magical. If somebody came here, to the present, from 1500 AD, we would have to tell that person that our films have magic in them. No other way to explain it.
Squeaky Lizard? I just bought and used a premium brand of cymbal polish, called Lizard Spit.
Lizard Spit? Really? Do your lizards literally spit on your cymbals, or do your symbiotic lizards figuratively spit upon your symbols? I am confused.
Trump is SO odd! His girlfriend Stormy is suing him now because he never signed their hush-don’t-tell legal agreement. Gracious! Talk about legal technicalities! I am terrified my high school girlfriends might sue me. We never even had legal agreements. Can somebody I kissed in 1967 sue me now?
Actually, now that I think about it, I may have kissed Working Dad, back about 1967.
Come on..the real news. What did the Formidable wife think of Arie on the finale of The Bachelor?
Seems to me that our nations President went ballistic over a mistake that ABCs Brian Ross made which caused the Stock Market to momentarily fall, proclaiming that people should sue over lost money. The President should watch out for the lawsuits headed his way
I hate daylight savings time. What happened to the law they were suppose to enact that did away with it? No daylight until eight in the morning, then stays daylight until eight at night in the middle of winter. Not right.
We will lose an hour of morning light, on Sunday. And, we will not get that light hour back until April 14. And, do you know that all of Michigan except Port Huron actually falls geographically into the Central Time Zone, rather than the Eastern?
I know there was talk of putting the whole state on CST. Don’t know how that would work? I use to hunt in the UP where it was CST. Was dark by 430 to 445 in mid November, but it was light earlier in the morning. Don’t know how that would work out either?
I am afraid Michigan people believe it is cooler to be on New York time, rather than Chicago time.
It’s bleak enough here as it is. Let’s try to enjoy our little perks when we can get them.
Stormy is scheduled to be at a club at Pompano Beach this weekend, just a few miles down the road from Mar-a-Lago. Will it be golf or *** for Donnie this weekend?
I think the Donald will use his putter.
Okay, you guys… I googled Stormy Daniels, and I only got links to news stories about Stormy and Donald. Boring. But then, I googled Stormy and Porn. Wow! Yikes!
Stormy does everything on Porn Hub! Yuck! I looked at one of her videos. It has some co-star guy who has tattoos. Arf! Now, I am afraid I will get bad data intrusions from the porn site. Maybe not worth looking at, you guys.
I cannot imagine Mr. Trump is anywhere near as proficient as Stormy’s professional tattooed sex partners. I suppose Mr. Trump feels lucky. Gross! Yuck!
Breaking News: Mr. Trump also has been linked romantically with Diana Ephesians.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LNVmkVvPyZ8/TU4C9KzM6NI/AAAAAAAAASc/3uvtEHtaWVE/s1600/Fontana_di_Diana_Efesina-Tivoli%252C_Villa_d%2527Este.jpg
Today Florida passed a law to arm “some” teachers. Who wants to bet that “some” teachers means white teachers of well off school districts, not the poor inner city schools.
Not that I think the concept is a good idea or anything. I just can’t miss an opportunity to exploit the hypocrisy of the right.
Latest on Trump’s girlfriends: They are reporting that Trump had an affair with Venus Willendorf.
https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/venus-in-her-casket/FQFjN-ceyNAg3w?hl=en&ms=%7B%22x%22%3A0.5%2C%22y%22%3A0.5%2C%22z%22%3A8.60793166131041%2C%22size%22%3A%7B%22width%22%3A3.7826000755287006%2C%22height%22%3A1.2375%7D%7D
Ah yes another killing with an assault rifle. Another day another shooting. Sad day again.
Maybe we can use our lax gun laws and tolerance of shooting to entice tourists from other countries! I am thinking particularly of “desirable” white tourists from northern and western Europe. Their home countries do not let them own guns or carry guns.
But, here in the USA, they probably can pass our background checks, and get their own six-shooters and assault rifles! They even can load their new guns, and walk around armed like Marshall Dillon and Duce Mussolini! No way they could get away with that, back in their home countries.
So, welcome, Firearms Tourists! Dodge City and Tombstone, Arizona, and Detroit welcome you! Get your kicks on Route Sixty-Six, and live out your lethal fantasies here in America the Beautiful!