Come Heller high water …
- North Korea says Trump should be sentenced to death for calling Kim Jong Un short and fat in a tweet last week. That seems a little extreme. I mean, he IS short and fat. And a maniac. You can’t fault Trump for telling the truth, right? (OK, yes, sure you can, but work with me here.)Besides, if every insult earned Der Trumpster a death sentence, he’d have racked up 5,437 of them by now. So Kim’s gonna have to get in line.
- While he was in the Philippines, Trump tweeted that he was “forced” to watch CNN and “again realized how bad and FAKE it is.” This might be the first and only thing I almost agree with him on. The news CNN generates isn’t fake, but the network itself is appalling bad for society. People assume it’s a news channel, which it is nominally. But the bulk of its limited coverage – five stories tops – is devoted to Washington politics, which distorts reality about what’s really the most important news of the day, whatever that might be. Also, and more importantly, it devotes the bulk of its airtime to panels of “experts” arguing over the few news stories the network covers. The reason they do that is money. It’s cheaper to hire people to argue about the news than to cover the news. It’s actually a brilliant strategy for them, but it also blurs the line between news and opinion. Based on the debates I’ve had with scores of readers over the years, they clearly think the news and opinions about the news are one and the same, and if they don’t happen to agree with the opinions they tend to label the news it’s based on as “fake.” And that’s why everyone seems entitled to their own facts these days.
- Here’s a guide: Boy falls off bike is news. Your opinion about why he fell of the bike is opinion. Get it?
- How come conservatives are so obsessed with Hillary Clinton? She’s not president. She holds no office of any kind. And yet they just won’t stop. Jimmy Kimmel took advantage of that fact the other night by asking people on the street whether she should be impeached. Person after person said yes. If it wasn’t so sad, it would have been hilarious.
- Gov. Snyder was touting this week the new “flex lanes” on U.S. 23 near Ann Arbor. What they are is an extra wide shoulder that drivers can use during rush hours only. I get why they did it. Adding full lanes, like any other state would do, would have cost four times more. But isn’t that emblematic of the whole infrastructure problem in Michigan? We refuse to pay what it costs to build and maintain the society we want, so we cut corners and end up with crappy roads and poisoned cities, all for the sake of a few bucks.
- Plus, OK, people haven’t mastered merge lanes yet. You think they’re going to figure out flex lanes? I don’t think so, bub. What they’re likely to do is use it as an open lane 24/7 and hope the cops don’t catch them.
- Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Cigars, cigars, cigars. Porsche, Porsche, Porsche. (Don’t mind me. I’ve noticed the words I use in columns often determine what kind of ads show up on my page, now that I’ve caved in to Google Ad Sense, and maybe that will in turn convince the manufacturers of said products to send me review samples. It’s worth a shot. Ding Dongs, Ding Dongs, Ding Dongs.)
- If your job compelled you to shake hands with a murderer, would you? Then why did Trump meet with Phillipines President Rodrigo Duterte, who admits to personally murdering three people when he was a mayor and whose anti-drug campaign has killed nearly 4,000 more? They don’t make soap strong enough to clean off that level of ick off your hand.
- Am I the only one who isn’t mentally quick enough to pick the right open/close button on the elevator when someone’s saying “Hold the elevator!” It’s those stupid triangles – pointing inward for closing, pointing out for open. It’s apparently too much for my pea brain.
- The creators of Cards Against Humanity – which I love – bought land needed for Trump’s dumb wall, chopped it up into little plots, gave it to customers during a promotion and pledged to hire lawyers to fight any eminent domain claim by the government. Wow. That’s brilliant. I’m buying an expansion set just to say thank you. Plus, OK, I like the game. Hard to play with your kids, though. I blush easily.
- “Move and way will open” – Zen proverb.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey