Andrew Heller

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Come Heller high water … the May 11th edition

May 11, 2016 by Andrew Heller 10 Comments

26454430252_0c2a55a741_kCome Heller high water…

  • If you live in Flint, it’s hard to keep straight who’s giving what to the city’s recovery efforts. Aid is coming at the city from all angles. So this week’s news that philanthropic organizations headed by the C.S. Mott Foundation are giving the city $125 million probably didn’t sound as momentous as it really is. It’s going to fund everything from ongoing water testing and health initiatives for children to kick starting the economy through entrepreneurship, the arts and more. This is truly a wow moment in this whole dismal affair. People need to recognize that. These foundations aren’t doing it for the applause but they deserve some anyway.
  • I mean, look at this who’s who list of benefactors: The C.S. Mott Foundation ($100 million), the Ruth Mott Foundation ($1 million), the Hagerman Foundation ($1 million), the FlintNOW Foundation $10 million), the W. K. Kellogg Foundation ($5 million), the Carnegie Corporation ($1 million), the Ford Foundation ($1 million), the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation ($1 million) and the Skillman Foundation ($500,00-$1.5 million). Amazing.
  • I think the people who think Trump has no chance in November don’t know politics very well. This is a 52-48, 51-49 country when it comes to the presidency. November will be close, with Trump’s mouth being the deciding factor. Caveat: If he doesn’t apologize to women – often and sincerely – he loses by 10 percentage points. Hell hath no fury like an entire gender annoyed.
  • Budweiser is renaming its beer “America” until after the election. And if Trump wins, they’ll change name half their bottles to “Canada” for all the people suddenly moving there.
  • By the way, does America really taste like thin, cheap beer? I like to think we’d taste like freedom fries or something like that.
  • The weather report says it will snow in Michigan Saturday. Clearly, the only sensible reaction is to stop reading the weather report.
  • Why is steak sauce so expensive? Seriously. Someone explain this to me.
  • The Michigan Senate voted to ban communities from banning plastic bags this week, which is irritating enough. Banning plastic bags would, first and foremost, mean a cleaner Michigan. I see plastic bags hanging from power lines, trees, bushes etc. Disgusting. We switched to reusable cloth bags for the grocery store years ago and love them beyond all reason. Naturally, the Senate doesn’t agree. Would you expect anything different from them? Maybe we need to hang some from the trees outside the Capitol. But here are two reasons their action truly bugs me: 1) There are no communities actively seeking to ban plastic bags. None. And yet the Senate wants to squelch any such local insurrection, should it occur, probably because bag manufacturers are telling them to, and 2) Republicans keep telling us they’re all for local control and yet this takes away local control. What the? That two-faceness is really no surprise, though. This is the same party that says it wants government out of our private lives and yet misses no opportunity to stick their nose in it, especially when it comes to issues like abortion, marriage, transgender issues, school prayer, etc. Why aren’t they ever called on that?
  • The Detroit Lions had the new rookies attend a history class about the team this week. Just a wild guess here but it probably didn’t include not going to or winning a Super Bowl, their best receiver (Calvin Johnson) quitting early, their best running back (Barry Sanders) quitting early, their historically bad draft performances, or the time they choice the wind over the ball in overtime, or the coach who went pants-less through a drive-thru. But if it didn’t include all that stuff, what did it cover? I wanna take that class.
  • “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” – Soren Kierkegaard.

Image credit: ideowl

Filed Under: Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, Come Heller high water

Comments

  1. Jims says

    May 11, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    Steak sauce is expensive the same reason steak is. It’s all bull!!!

    Reply
  2. Linda Jerome says

    May 11, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    Wash DC charges 5 cents for every plastic bag in stores. People use recycle bags when shopping.

    Reply
  3. Ginny braun says

    May 11, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    I really miss your column in the paper

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      May 11, 2016 at 9:30 pm

      No need to. I’ll be writing here. But you can always tell the paper!

      Reply
      • Loren M says

        May 12, 2016 at 10:16 am

        Who gets the paper anymore? My wife does, I take the sports to work with me but already read it online half the time.

        Reply
  4. NativeOfMichigan says

    May 11, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    The Michigan Senate will never be held accountable for its unethical acts as long as Arlan is in charge. The pervasive secrecy and unscrupulous methods of the Great Obnoxious Party is evident to all.

    Reply
  5. Sue says

    May 11, 2016 at 11:07 pm

    Thanks for pointing out the significance of the wonderful philanthropic gifts given to Flint this week. This kind of news gives me a glimpse of a vision of Flint possibly, maybe becoming a new, shiny, cool little city. But, first the water pipes need to be replaced and that job sits squarely in the lap of one of the most unpopular governors in the world. Sad.

    Also, CA has banned the plastic bag and I love it! I carry reusable grocery bags and am in the process of trying to get the local grocery baggers to understand that I do NOT want any plastic bags.

    Reply
  6. Judith Brooks says

    May 12, 2016 at 9:29 am

    About those plastic bags…..Why do the baggers want to put my stuff in plastic and then into the pile of bags I bring in. I hate those plastic bags. The food rolls all over the trunk, their handles rip off, and they multiply in the dark garage so I have hundreds of them in a few months. Ban The BAGS!

    Reply
  7. Loren M says

    May 12, 2016 at 11:27 am

    Budweiser is an acquired taste, as a beer connoisseur I find it refreshingly acerbic. (much like my perception of my misunderstood wit or sense of humor). I spent 14 months in Germany and prefer the stoutest of biers but am not willing to pay the premium prices they charge here in “America” which they charge for anything remotely resembling a decent brew your average innkeeper in Europe makes in his backrooms and practically gives away.
    I’m not sure what I missed more, America while I was there or real German bier after I returned. The small mom & pop innkeepers liked me and broke out their private stash of strong brews on many occasions. If anyone wants to bash a beer company it should be Miller, you don’t put store beer in a clear container/bottle plus their products are disgusting. Or Coors, it’s made with pure Rocky Mountain spring water but they forgot to add enough hops, barley and wheat to flavor it.

    Reply
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Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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