Come Heller high water …
- If I had been on O.J. Simpson’s parole board, his parole hearing would have gone like this: “Are you willing to admit you killed them?” “No.” “Next!” Ten seconds. Boom. Done. Instead, this killer will once again roam the land. And golf courses. And of course he’ll be looking for Nicole and Ron’s killer behind every sand trap. Once a mockery of justice, always a mockery of justice.
- Big Andrew Heller column announcement: I hereby declare that I am changing President Trump to “Republican President Trump” in all references (unless I forget, in which case you can politely remind me, as in “Hey, numbskull …” Why am I doing this when I’ve never before identified presidents by their party affiliation, even that genial dunderhead GWB? Three reasons: 1)Because I thoroughly reject everything this man stands for; 2) Because he’s not my president; and 3) Because Republicans elected him, so they get to take credit for him.
- By the way, if Republican President Trump wanted to make sure Bob Mueller investigates his finances, the best way to do it would be to tell Bob Mueller not to investigate his finances, which of course is precisely what Trump did. God, he’s dumb. It’s like he’s never met another human being.
- Listen, if you want to be part of fixing this country, the single best thing you can do is stop posting material from alleged “news” websites that lean hard left or hard right. I won’t read that stuff. I want my news straight, not filtered through ideology.
- I also think news should be labeled “news” and opinion should be labeled “opinion.” CNN has helped blur the line between the two with its news model of covering three stories, tops, followed by hour after hour of “experts” debating those stories. Increasingly, I find people can’t tell the difference. They tell me they heard something on “the news” but what they really heard was someone’s opinion about the news. Whole different animals, people.
- Sure, the Tigers might have gotten more for J.D. Martinez if they’d waiting until the trade deadline. But they also might have gotten nothing. As much as I love the guy, his contract is up at the end of the season and there is no way – given the gobs of money owed to Verlander, Cabrera and Upton – they could give him a new one. What fans ought to be upset about is the Tigers giving Verlander a super-long deal. You don’t give pitchers long term deals because they are the orchids of the baseball world.
- I sure am glad “Game of Thrones” is back on HBO. But I’m warnin’ ya, HBO, if it starts getting too grim and too sadistic, I’m outta here. I did it before and missed a season or two, and I’ll do it again.
- I was a major comic fan as a kid. We had thousands of them. So many, in fact, my older brother opened a comic book shop with them as an adult. So I love superheroes. And yet I haven’t gone to see “Wonder Woman,” which is supposed to be wonderful. And I won’t go see “Spider Man,” which is also supposed to be great. I guess I’m kinda superheroed out, y’know? As Bob Talbert, one of my column idols from long ago, would say, “You, too?”
- “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” – Bruce Lee.
Image credit: Charles LeBlanc