Come Heller high water …
- So for those of you who thought the office would shape the man and once installed The Donald would start to act more presidential, we present SizeMattersgate, the ridiculous debate over whose inauguration was bigger, his or Barack Obama’s. If you look at side-by-photos aerial photos, it’s clear many more people attended the last Obama inauguration. We have eyes, y’know? But if you’re Donald the Denier, a man who thinks truth is what he says it is – acres of emptiness toward the back of the mall can be explained away by white tarps on the ground or a deceitful media. Here’s the thing, though: It’s an empty, silly debate. Who cares who had more? Only 10-year-olds would care. What matters here is the guy who is president used his first White House press conference to have his press secretary read a screed against the media, proving the man-child intends to continue being a man-child even as he holds the reins of power. And that’s a bad sign, folks. Bad, indeed.
- Thank god the inauguration is over, though. I couldn’t take any more sky-is-falling fretting from my liberal friends. Or from myself. On with it, I say. Anticipation is always worse than reality. In the end things will be fine. He’ll come, he’ll go. Life will go on. We’ll all survive. Probably.
- Of course, I could have written the same thing for my conservative friends eight years ago or for the residents of Tokyo when Godzilla was on the way.
- Loved the protest marches all over the country. I hope this becomes a movement. Democrats have always lacked the fire of the right. May this spark start a fire. But I couldn’t help wondering how different things would have been if many of those same people had A) Spoken up before the election, B) Gotten over their petulant distaste for Hillary and, and C) Voted. (Voter turnout was at a 20-year low with about 55 percent of eligible voters turning out.)
- A story in USA TODAY speculated whether Trump will redo the White House in gold colors and bling like his penthouse in Trump Tower. I doubt it. But I could see him putting his face on the Statue of Liberty and changing the tablet to read “Go away.”
- I was in Scottsdale, Ariz., for a few days this week. When I looked up I was alarmed to notice there were no clouds. And the sky was blue. And there was this strange, glowing orb in the sky. I asked the hotel clerk about all of these phenomena in case I should seek shelter and she said, “No, that’s normal out here. It’s called good weather.” Huh. I’ve heard about that but didn’t realize it actually existed.
- Seriously, why do any of us live in Michigan in the winter?
- In Scottsdale, I had a conversation with a gent from Vancouver. When he learned where I live he said Canadians are baffled about how Flint’s water crisis still isn’t fixed a year later. Join the club, I told him. Join the club.
- We put in for money from the lawsuit settlement against milk producers for price fixing. The lovely yet formidable Marcia wanted to ask for 2 percent. But I said no. We were ripped off and should — wait for it — milk it for all it’ s worth.
- Sorry, couldn’t resist.
- Apropos of nothing, do you think Monet was near-sighted? Many of his paintings are blurry. Maybe he needed contacts.
- I’m sad to see the P.T. Barnum circus go, but it was time. Circuses are, frankly, pretty dull in this day and age. Parades, too. Maybe it’s just me.
- Oh stop whining about stamps going up to 49 cents. It’s still the best deal ever. For that someone will drive to your house, pick up your letter and transport it anywhere. That’s pretty darned great. We complain about silly stuff.
- “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to it.” — Robert Heinlein.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey