Come Heller high water …
- So for those of you who thought the office would shape the man and once installed The Donald would start to act more presidential, we present SizeMattersgate, the ridiculous debate over whose inauguration was bigger, his or Barack Obama’s. If you look at side-by-photos aerial photos, it’s clear many more people attended the last Obama inauguration. We have eyes, y’know? But if you’re Donald the Denier, a man who thinks truth is what he says it is – acres of
emptiness toward the back of the mall can be explained away by white tarps on the ground or a deceitful media. Here’s the thing, though: It’s an empty, silly debate. Who cares who had more? Only 10-year-olds would care. What matters here is the guy who is president used his first White House press conference to have his press secretary read a screed against the media, proving the man-child intends to continue being a man-child even as he holds the reins of power. And that’s a bad sign, folks. Bad, indeed. - Thank god the inauguration is over, though. I couldn’t take any more sky-is-falling fretting from my liberal friends. Or from myself. On with it, I say. Anticipation is always worse than reality. In the end things will be fine. He’ll come, he’ll go. Life will go on. We’ll all survive. Probably.
- Of course, I could have written the same thing for my conservative friends eight years ago or for the residents of Tokyo when Godzilla was on the way.
- Loved the protest marches all over the country. I hope this becomes a movement. Democrats have always lacked the fire of the right. May this spark start a fire. But I couldn’t help wondering how different things would have been if many of those same people had A) Spoken up before the election, B) Gotten over their petulant distaste for Hillary and, and C) Voted. (Voter turnout was at a 20-year low with about 55 percent of eligible voters turning out.)
- A story in USA TODAY speculated whether Trump will redo the White House in gold colors and bling like his penthouse in Trump Tower. I doubt it. But I could see him putting his face on the Statue of Liberty and changing the tablet to read “Go away.”
- I was in Scottsdale, Ariz., for a few days this week. When I looked up I was alarmed to notice there were no clouds. And the sky was blue. And there was this strange, glowing orb in the sky. I asked the hotel clerk about all of these phenomena in case I should seek shelter and she said, “No, that’s normal out here. It’s called good weather.” Huh. I’ve heard about that but didn’t realize it actually existed.
- Seriously, why do any of us live in Michigan in the winter?
- In Scottsdale, I had a conversation with a gent from Vancouver. When he learned where I live he said Canadians are baffled about how Flint’s water crisis still isn’t fixed a year later. Join the club, I told him. Join the club.
- We put in for money from the lawsuit settlement against milk producers for price fixing. The lovely yet formidable Marcia wanted to ask for 2 percent. But I said no. We were ripped off and should — wait for it — milk it for all it’ s worth.
- Sorry, couldn’t resist.
- Apropos of nothing, do you think Monet was near-sighted? Many of his paintings are blurry. Maybe he needed contacts.
- I’m sad to see the P.T. Barnum circus go, but it was time. Circuses are, frankly, pretty dull in this day and age. Parades, too. Maybe it’s just me.
- Oh stop whining about stamps going up to 49 cents. It’s still the best deal ever. For that someone will drive to your house, pick up your letter and transport it anywhere. That’s pretty darned great. We complain about silly stuff.
- “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to it.” — Robert Heinlein.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey
Even the smallest, silliest parade is a good parade. Just sayin’.
Other than that, spot on as always!
I would be willing to bet that most of the people at these protests did vote. My guess is we really are still not hearing from the 49 percent who did not vote in November.
Trump must equate an attack on the size of his crowds as an attack on the size of his manhood just as he did with his small hands. Where there’s smoke?
Ha! Yup. Agreed.
You do you, but I (speaking as a lifelong independent) would never diminish or denigrate the feelings of any person, voting or not, as a “petulant distaste for Hillary.” It is insulting, to say the least. If historically left voters could not make themselves vote for her, it would be dangerously remiss on the part of left voters who could and did vote for her, and on the part of the DNC, not to hear that message, loud and clear, and get their aristocratic shizzle togizzle, prontizzle.
If Barnum has to date been using elephants (or other wild animals) in their shows, it is well beyond time for Barnum to go. Otherwise, who cares what silly humans do?
In your soon-to-be hometown, we had a couple hundred marchers yesterday. Many wore hand-knit or home-sewn hot pink pussy hats. The hats were so very, very pink and bright, their brightness intensified against the characteristically less-than-azure Michigan winter sky. Would have been lovely to see the downtown scene captured by the Father of Impressionism, Monet. He very well may have had myopia; if so, he made the absolute best of it, didn’t he?
Why, yes. Yes he did, said this 1984 University of Michigan BFA Cum Laude.
Finally: Didn’t everybody purchase a shoeboxful of Forever Stamps in 2007? Having a giant stash of 2007 Forever Stamps reduces the teensy-tinesy pinch of periodic postage hikes. The rates will not go down, people! Also, it’s not too late to open a bitcoin wallet!!
Thanks for the morning chuckle.
A woman I know told me she dressed in black on inauguration day, stayed home and watched movies. She refused to watch Trump take the oath of office or any of the news coverage.
I wanted to ask her what good that did. She’d better become a hermit the next four years. Get over it. He isn’t going to take away womens’ rights. He says one thing and does another. Fasten your seatbelts folks, this roller coaster is on the move.
The Dutch call it Huuga[Sic}. Go out and smell a flower, watch a sunset or a sunrise, play with the children or Grandkids, But, do not let your guard down and let the people in power move about without us watching them…..Mark
I’m gonna huuga like crazy then.
Does it sound like the Trump administration is using “1984”, “Animal Farm”, and “Brave New World” as their playbooks?
Yes. Absolutely. Up is down, left if right, right is wrong. Don’t believe your eyes and ears – only believe the Great Orange.
Great article, as always, but I thought stamps were already at 49 cents?
Today is my birthday and now I am a 68 year old nasty woman, and I consider reading your comments for the first time a great birthday present … I like your style!
Ha, happy birthday, Susan. And welcome!
30 million women took part in a very important march. In November they marched into voting booths and voted for Donald Trump. Several states that were previously very blue turned red for this election including Michigan. True diversity and empowerment were witnessed by strong women who did not fall for the liberal lies of Hillary Clinton and the Democrat party. The riots which erupted in Washington DC on inauguration day prove the violent, hate filled, angry, bitter, criminal core of the Democrat party.
Good people need to get trained, arm themselves and carry daily. Don’t let the violent, liberal nutbags harm you or your family.
I lament the end of the Greatest Show on Earth. I do not believe the animals had bad lives. They had important jobs and loving care. My dear old dog Ollie would have loved to have an actual job, other than barking at pickup trucks and passing dogs on walks. I wish I had been able to find a real job for him, but I never did.
Welcome back, Andrew. Wuz Youz in AZ?
I am VERY happy that the circus is shutting down! In my opinion, the thousands of animals that should have been living wild and free have been mistreated, abused and forced to “perform” to amuse humans for centuries and it is disgusting and cruel !! It would be awesome if every circus on the planet would close for ever… Great article Andrew…