The best thing about Trump being out of office and blocked from Twitter and Facebook is I suddenly have all this time.
I didn’t realize it, but for four years, I didn’t go 15 minutes without checking the news. That’s not an exaggeration. Most of my discussions with my wife and friends began with “What’d he do now?” Debating his minute-by-minute lies and outrages with readers and friends on Facebook became my primary pastime. Which is kind of sad. But that’s how deeply I felt about the norms he attacked and the damage he was doing. I couldn’t look away for fear of what would happen. You know how when you’re in a plane during a thunderstorm you find yourself using all of your energy to will that sucker to stay in the air? That’s what I did for four years with the Tangerine Monstrosity. You’re welcome.
But now, all of a sudden, with a grown-up once again in charge, I’m free. Biden, I will admit, has surprised me. I wasn’t a huge fan. He was probably my fifth favorite Democrat. In him, I thought we were hiring a caretaker, someone who would just do no more harm.
But a couple of months in, he’s done far more than just “not be Trump.” He’s done a really, really good job, in fact. To my surprise, he has moved swiftly to sweep up the broken glass and replace the holes punched in the drywall of democracy by the former Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief.
As a result, I feel like I can finally stand down. I don’t have to pay attention every second. The plane doesn’t need my willpower anymore. It’s going to land safely.
It feels great.
I find myself avoiding the sound of Wolf Blitzer’s voice on CNN.
I suddenly can’t bear the nattering panels on MSNBC.
I don’t find myself switching to Fox News to see if I can handle more than 15 seconds of it. (A masochistic habit I adopted.)
I’ve started to read books again. (Those things with words on paper.)
I’m working out more.
I relearned the dog’s name. (It’s Bob, I think.)
I might try to learn guitar for the 20th time in my life.
Spring is coming.
Life, in general, is looking up.
Thanks for that, Biden voters.