Surveyin’ da Situation: Heaven help me, they’ve got my number

By John Matonich

I think something may be wrong with my phone. The mid-term election is over and I haven’t received one single phone call or text message from a candidate since election day. My email hasn’t gone nuts either. I may have to check my ‘puter too.

During the election season, I became quite used to getting emails and phone calls from candidates or their staffs wanting to update me on their positions or asking for a little monetary bump. They usually let me know that when they get elected, they will be sure to do everything in their power to make my life much better than it currently is. This is the first year, though, that I received text messages.

I really found it offensive that my phone would go off multiple times a day with messages that reminded me that one proposal or another was sponsored by aliens from Jupiter and I shouldn’t support it or how I really needed to support this particular candidate for Wayne State University Board of Regents. I have a lot of respect for Wayne State and its programs but could care less who’s on their board. I actually feel the same about MSU and UofM’s boards as well. Great schools but could care less who decides what brand of hot dog to serve at the home football games.

I had to chuckle when one of the text messages came through and said, “Daryl, we need you to vote for Prop 1 this Tuesday as it is an important issue for the state. Please let us know that you will support this.” I couldn’t resist and I sent a text back that said not only was my name not “Daryl,” but how I vote is my business, not anyone else’s. I actually received a message back that more or less apologized and went on to say they were simply being paid to send these texts out. And I thought they were simply true supporters. Another foolish belief on my part, I guess.

I am not sure how they got my cell number, but if I find the folks responsible, I plan to get their numbers and send them continuous texts that they should contact all of the Boards of Control of Michigan Universities and have them support serving Kogel Viennas at their home football games. I love Kogels and it would be in the state’s best interest for them to be served across the state. Maybe if they did, folks would actually remember who are on those boards and support them next time out instead of submitting write in names for Huey, Dewey, and Lewey. Not that I did that… hmmm…

And that’s the situation as I survey it …

After a 35-year career downstate livin’ amongst da trolls, during which he built a successful engineering and surveying business, John Matonich is back home in da U.P. His column will appear here occasionally, don’tcha know. His book “Surveyin’ Da Situation” is available on Amazon.com.