Rap rocker Kid Rock hinted this week he might run for Congress from Michigan.
I doubt it’ll happen. A newspaper buddy of mine thinks it’s just a publicity stunt to sell his next album, which he thinks will be called “Kid Rock for U.S. Senate.” That would be a pretty clever gimmick that would sell a lot of albums, so I tend to agree with my friend.
I also doubt that Candidate Rock – 0r whatever we’re supposed to call him (I ain’t calling a political candidate “Kid” or “Mr. Rock”) – would want the steep pay cut associated with being a senator. They only make between $174,000 and $191,000, not including kickbacks and bribes. (That was a joke. I think.)
But say he runs. Is it crazy to think he’d win?
Not at all. Yes, he’d be running against Sen. Debbie Stabenow, who seems entrenched, assuming of course he could first defeat rocker/lunatic Ted Nugent in the primary, who is also rumored to be considering a run.
But this is a nation where fake wrestlers (Jesse Ventura), bad actors (Ah-nold), cheesy actors (Reagan), comedians (Al Franken) and reality show TV stars (Trump) have been elected to high office.
So why wouldn’t Michigan elect a rapper? We’ve been a fool for lesser things. (Rick Snyder.) (The Detroit Lions.) (Coney dogs.)
I certainly don’t care for Potential Candidate Rock’s politics. From what little I know, I suspect he’d be just another false populist (conservative voters are suckers for these) who pretends to be on the side of the little guy but who consistently votes against the little guy’s interest.
Also, he’s pals with Sarah Palin, which is a fatal character flaw in my book.
In truth, he’d be terrible for Michigan and for the United States, which is precisely why he’s got a chance. (America lately has turned into the woman who consistently picks the wrong guy for her.)
But I’m trying to look on the bright side, and I do think we need more people in Congress from different backgrounds. As of 2015, about 40 percent of them were lawyers. That’s way too many. As the old joke goes:
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Senator.
At the very least, he’d liven up the place. As the first rapper/rocker in Congress, I think it’d be a hoot the first time he stood in the well of the Senate and said, “Dudes and dudesses, this bill is, like, totally bogus, man. And frankly it’s also a bit bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.”
(Oh, don’t write me nasty notes. I know he’s probably a lot more intelligent and adult than his image, but he’s always reminded me of the Spicoli character played by Sean Penn in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”)
There’s also this: Can you see him suddenly switching to a suit and tie? I can’t. But if he were forced to by Senate rules, I suspect he’d still wear sunglasses and his usual fedora, and I seriously doubt he’d cut his hair. Mitch McConnell would get the vapors.
And what about this? Say Kid Rock runs and becomes Sen. Rock in 2018, then wrestler/actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – whose fans want him to run for president in 2020 – enters the race as a Republican and wins the primary. If The Rock asked Kid Rock to be his running mate, we could end up with an all Rock White House.
And you thought America couldn’t get any weirder.
Image credit: U.S. Army via Creative Commons
James says
“Rock On” Like always.
Chris says
“And where do we go from here? Which is the way that’s clear?”
Me says
Def Leppard lyrics to Rock On
Working Dad says
‘just a publicity stunt to sell his next album, which he thinks will be called Kid Rock for U.S. Senate.’
This theory has been widely discussed on both radio and all over social media this week. Your newspaper buddy did not come up with the idea.
I am perfectly OK with Republican Senator Robert Ritchey ousting Demoskank Debbie Stabenow. Anything to get rid of Democrats is fine with me. I am sick of the violent, hate filled, arsonist, smashing, pillaging “ANTIFA” BS from the Democrat party. Dump all of the Democrats.
Fred says
Oh, he’ll be a shoo-in. Like trump, he has the best words from his best brain, “BEEYOTCH!!!”
Linda says
I can’t figure out if the talk about running for Senate is publicity for that ridiculous video, or if the video is publicity for a Senate run. The scary thing is some people will vote for him just as a joke, which may have had something to do with who is in the White House now.
Karen says
Thanks for the laughs. It is so much better than crying.
Remember the guys who sold Pet Rocks? Could happen.
Rock-a bye-baby, Kid Rock.
Tom says
Kid Rock actually is not very good. I would not vote for a mediocre musician. If Stevie Wonder or Aretha Franklin ran, I would be interested. But, do you remember when Martha Reeves go elected to the Detroit City Council, a few years ago? Martha Reeves is a much better, more important, more successful musician than Kid Rock, but she laid an egg as an elected official.
The people who like Kid Rock spend their time getting tattoos and getting high and getting in bar fights. I do not believe very many of them actually vote. Fedora For Senate? No.
Fred says
They talk about him like he is this huge mega star, but I couldn’t name even one of his songs. He came into stardome during my teenaged years when I was obsessed with rock and rap music, but some how I never paid any attention to Kid Rock , which leads me to believe that he is not that popular and probably even less influental. The last thing I heard of him doing before this, is some reality show where he launched junk in the air and shot it. Right wingers eat up that stuff.
Jim III says
Kid Rock for Senate. Hmmmmm…… I am not a fan of his. I read a couple of his talking points. On some he sounded like a republican and others more like a liberal. It sounds like he has got one foot in one party and the other foot in the other party. Too early to decide. I have to look at he republican list of candidates that are trying to run for the senate office in 2018. If there is a better republican then I would not vote for him.
As far as I can tell all politicians are really actors.
Tom says
Do any of you guys want to discuss how preposterously incompetent the Detroit Tigers’ relief pitchers are? Oh, my goodness! If the Tigers just had average relief pitchers, they would be okay.
But, the Tigers have THE WORST. Not even one good pitcher they ever can call on. Back in the very old days, there was a sardonic joke: May the Dallas Police protect you. (If you can’t figure it out, ask your grampa.)
Now, we can joke, May the Detroit bullpen relieve you.
Fred says
Trading Martinez for 3 not even triple A minor leaguers when the bullpen is suffering was just brilliant. Obviosly Al Avila is thinking; we’ll have a great team in a couple years. This year fans can just suck it up.
If the starting pictures can’t stay strong at least 8 innings there is a very good chance the relief will blow any lead. Don’t you just cringe every time Brad walks out to the mound?
Fred says
Another cringe worthy moment is when someone types picture for pitcher.
Tom says
Fred, my friend, you called the foul on your own self. Cheers!