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Come Heller high water … the ‘We’ve been Zuckered’ edition

April 12, 2018 by Andrew Heller 21 Comments

Image result for meme zuckerberg and data

Come Heller high water …

  • In the end, Zuckerberg’s lip-flapping to Congress about “transparency” and “doing the right thing” meant absolutely nothing, and here’s how I know: Facebook didn’t bother to send me an instant message, email or post telling me I wasn’t among the 87 million people whose information was directly harvested by Cambridge Analytica, Trump’s political data firm. Instead, I found out from the lovely yet formidable Marcia, who located her answer by going to Facebook’s help desk and typing in Cambridge Analytica, which wouldn’t have occurred to me to do in a million years. Don’t you think that’s the sort of instruction that should have come my way from Facebook itself? Instead they apparently thought it would be more fun and efficient if they made me wonder for a while before searching all over the site for a button (because that’s how I’d do it if I were in charge) that said, “Click here to find out if Mark Zuckerberg bought one of the lesser Hawaiian islands with the money he made selling his customers data without their permission.” Thanks, Zuck. I feel like a real zucker now.
  • And by the way, while I didn’t have my information sucked directly into the vacuum vortex of Cambridge Analytica, they got it anyway because, according to Facebook, “Based on our investigation, you don’t appear to have logged into ‘This Is Your Digital Life’ with Facebook before we removed it from our platform in 2015. However, a friend of yours did.” When I found out which friend it is, I’m unfriending them for life, unless it’s a close friend. Then I’ll just issue a 3-month suspension.
  • Even more disturbing than that, though, was Zuckerberg telling Congress that Facebook collects information on people who aren’t even Facebook users through the data they pull from inboxes and smartphone users who are users. That puts the creep in creepy.
  • It’s impossible to escape the painful irony of Gov. Snyder cutting off bottled water assistance to Flint, where many people still don’t trust drinking the water coming from their taps, and at least 12,000 homes still haven’t had lead pipes removed, while letting Nestle pull 400 gallons of water per minute for free from Osceola County, just a hundred miles from Flint. Honest to god, how does that man sleep at night?
  • And then there’s the Line 5 pipeline at the Straits of Mackinac. Snyder has rejected calls to shut down the oil and gas pipeline, assuring us all is well and a leak isn’t likely. Then, as if on cue, a ship’s anchor this week damaged electric cables at the bottom of the Straits near the Line 5 pipeline, causing a coolant leak. The same anchor also dinged Line 5, causing minor damage. Doesn’t that tell you Line 5 could have been the one that was damaged more severely, which would have meant an ecological disaster? And doesn’t that mean critics – and not Snyder – have been right all along? Of course it tells you that. Because it’s just logic. If it doesn’t tell you that, then you’re clearly qualified to be governor.
  • A new study says coffee and alcohol can help you live past 90. If so, I may live forever on my coffee consumption alone.
  • I just realized this column is one crabby thought after another. I blame the weather. Like you’re not crabby out it, too. Spring, wherefore art thou?
  • “Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” – Henry Ford

Filed Under: Come Heller high water, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, Come Heller high water

Comments

  1. jimiii says

    April 12, 2018 at 7:58 pm

    Talk about liberal/demoncrats/communists eating their own. The most recent information that I have on Zuckerberg’s political stance is that Zuckerberg is a liberal/democrat/communist supporter.
    He never has and probably will never be a republican/conservative. He has only donated money to the dnc and hilliary campaign. He has never donated to the Republican party.
    All of you liberal/socialists complaining that Cambridge Anatlylica PAID facebook for the information on about 87,000,000 Americans for the 2016 campaign.
    To you it was a bad thing that the Trump campaign did.
    When obama’s campaign did the same thing in the 2012 election cycle it was apparently ok that the democrats had the names of over 150,000,000 Americans that are/were on facebook.
    Asd I have stated on earlier posts Embridge #5 needs to be shut down. It is, like Andrew and others have said, a disaster waiting to happen. Both political parties are to blame for the inaction of not shutting down #5. If Embridge stopped copntributing money to both political parties then maybe something might be done. If I was you do not hold your breath waiting for Lansing to do anything about #5.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      April 12, 2018 at 8:15 pm

      I do not think Obama ever had anything to do with Cambridge A.

      Reply
      • Bill says

        April 12, 2018 at 9:37 pm

        Never ceases to amaze me that the Trump / GOP zealots continue to name call on any posts they disagree with and yet still expect to be taken seriously 😳😆🙄

        Reply
      • jimiii says

        April 12, 2018 at 10:41 pm

        obama had nothing to do with Cambridge Analytica. In fact no republican/conservative has ever implied that obama used Cambridge Analytica.
        What his campaign in 2012 election cycle was to use facebook to gather information on over 150,000,000 voters/Americans. They sent out a survey about the election of 2012, after the person filled out the survey they were asked to pass on the survey. In this way the obama campaign gathered information on potentional pro democratic voters.
        The trump campaign did not send out a survey, they just used the information from Cambridge Analytia. In the minds of democrats what the obamacampaign did was okay. The Trump campaign did gather information on voters it suddenly becomes a bad thing.

        Reply
        • Mark says

          April 13, 2018 at 8:03 am

          It’s called voluntary verses Involuntary , or to make it easier to see, people filled out surveys voluntarily vs. data mining, there is a difference.

          Reply
  2. Tommy B says

    April 12, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    Governor Nerd has been a disaster for almost eight years. I was never impressed with Granholm, but she was better. Engler was also a poor Governor and so was Blanchard. The last Governor I thought was really good was Bill Milliken.

    Reply
  3. Suzee H. says

    April 12, 2018 at 8:13 pm

    OMG! I can’t believe that Gov. Dipstick cut off the bottled water assistance to the folks in Flint! What a freaking JERK!! As for the Nestle bullsh*t… that is enough to make my blood boil! It is all I can do to keep my mouth shut when I see people buying bottled water in every store I go to here in Saginaw… I just want to say, oh, so sad that you don’t have water coming out of the tap at home… and when they would say, of course I do… I would like to go off on them about why in the hell are you paying someone for what you have already paid for at your house??!! But, I keep quiet and fume to myself… The darn bottles rarely are recycled, are thrown away where ever the user feels like dropping it, AND we lived just fine for decades without senseless, wasteful, overpriced bottled water! ( Don’t get me started about the disgusting, disposable diapers that are polluting our planet, and that NO ONE needs to be using!) Ok, end of rants…
    Loved the column, as usual, Andy!! Keep up the great work!! 🙂

    Reply
  4. Tom says

    April 12, 2018 at 8:16 pm

    Do it by the numbers: Shut down Line #5, and repeal Amendment #2!

    Reply
    • Working Dad says

      April 13, 2018 at 5:37 am

      The Second Amendment will be in place hundreds of years from now. I hope that makes you happy.

      Reply
  5. Jims says

    April 12, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    Snyder could give a rats patoot about Flint and anywhere close to it. It’s not close to AnnArbor or anyone of his buds in Grand Rapids. Just a hang nail that won’t go away. Another injustice that wasn’t prosecuted. Him namely. He’s the big boss and should have been accountable. No gain here for him or his republican cronies.

    Reply
  6. Working Dad says

    April 13, 2018 at 5:30 am

    Can someone please direct me to the article where Andy Heller complained about the Obama administration using Facebook to gather information on voters before the 2012 election? I can’t seem to find one.

    Or does Andy Heller (like all Democrats) have two sets of rules?

    Reply
  7. Working Dad says

    April 13, 2018 at 5:33 am

    1. Zero votes were changed due to Cambridge Analytica.
    2. Zero votes were changed due to “Russian bots”.
    3. Zero votes were hacked.
    4. Donald Trump IS your President.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      April 13, 2018 at 11:43 am

      Cambridge Analytica utterly stinks. It is hooked up with rich right-wing fanatics, and with sneaky evil Steve Bannon. It was deeply involved in the murderously-flawed election in Kenya, and in the electoral corruption in Ukraine. And, it worked for Trump. Plus, lots of other creepy stuff.

      Reply
    • Jims says

      April 13, 2018 at 6:38 pm

      No way dad he’s your president. Maybe you two can get together and pee on each other. You know get that warm fuzzy feeling. What a effen disgrace to this country. You stick up for that? Who raised you a pack of dogs?

      Reply
  8. Working Dad says

    April 13, 2018 at 5:43 am

    The most telling information we learned from liberal Zuckerberg’s testimony was that while conservative posters and pages are routinely targeted by Facebook for censorship, none of the following (according to MZ’s testimony) have ever been taken down.

    1. Any Planned Parenthood page or posting.
    2. Any MoveOn.org page or posting.
    3. Any Democrat politicians or candidates pages.

    Facebook is a left winger tool being used to censor conservatives and Republicans. There should be hundreds of Facebook employees dragged off in chains to prison.

    Reply
    • Jims says

      April 13, 2018 at 8:44 am

      Do you have a Facebook account?

      Reply
    • Tom says

      April 13, 2018 at 11:46 am

      Where did you get this info, Daddy? I believe some fool just made it up, and you accept it, even though it is false. You do not even know what you are writing about.

      Reply
  9. teddyluba says

    April 13, 2018 at 8:19 am

    Hey Working Dad, I got a new name for the Trumpster . He will be known as the Humpster from now on.

    Reply
  10. Tom says

    April 13, 2018 at 4:08 pm

    Scooter Libby probably would be a great Supreme Court Justice!

    Reply
  11. Tom says

    April 13, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Boss Donnie “Long Tie” Trumpolini could set a great example of true Christian forgiveness if he were to pardon long-suffering public servant Paul Manafort.

    Reply
  12. Tom says

    April 13, 2018 at 4:46 pm

    And here is another thing, Working Dad and Jim-Bob the Third! Obama may have gotten voter information from Facebook, but Trump and his Russian pals actually USED Facebook to spread lies and mayhem!

    Reply

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Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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