Come Heller high water …
- Somebody should really alert the Dutch that windmills cause cancer. Trump may have just saved an entire nation. (Wonder how they lasted this long, though. Must be hardy folk.)
- The government now says it may take two years just to identify – much less find and reunite – all the families they tore apart at the border. I don’t care what your political beliefs are, this was an inhumane and intentional act of deterrence. It was Trump saying to immigrants, “See what can happen when you come here?” I don’t believe for a second this was an accident. At best it was accidental on purpose. Either way, it’s about as low as you can go. I lost track of my son at the Museum of Modern Art once for about 5 minutes. I thought he was following me down the stairs. He got on the elevator instead. I didn’t know whether he’d gone up or down. I was frantic. Imagine how these people feel about two years. Our president is simply and to his core a bad, bad person. Someday, people are going to look back and wonder why we let it happen.
- A new survey says Americans borrowed $88 billion last year to pay for health care. One in four skipped treatment because they couldn’t afford it. And half of all Americans – half! – say bankruptcy is just one health emergency away. This should be the most biggest and most apolitical of all issues. Everyone gets sick or hurt. Everyone needs health care. Even people with good insurance through work worry that one big medical crisis could impoverish them. I pretty much assume that whatever I’ve saved for retirement will eventually end up in the hands of the insurance companies and hospitals. They’re just letting me keep it for now. I’ll bet most people feel this way. So why don’t we collectively do something about it? The rest of the world has. Why not us? (That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is: Nothing changes because somebody is getting rich off the status quo and they don’t want anything to change so they pit us against one another. We exist in a state of permanent squabble while they keep hauling in the dough. Here’s an idea: Howzabout we stop doing that? We can fix health care if we want to.
- Just saw that Head East is playing at a casino in Michigan next month. You’re probably saying, “Who’s that?” Head East is the first rock band I ever saw in concert. It was in a metal pole barn at the U.P. State Fairgrounds in Escanaba back in the ‘70s. If you’re interested in what a rock concert in a pole barn sounds like, crank your iPhone speaker up to max, stick it in a Maxwell coffee can and place the can over your ear. Head East’s biggest and I think only hit was “Never Been Any Reason.” I loved it then. I love it now. Great guitar work, ridiculous synthesizer jams, plus a brief but most excellent cow bell solo. Duuude.
- Btw, have you noticed that guitars almost don’t exist in a lot of today’s pop songs? My kids hate it when I point that out.
- The headline said, “Pot-infused edibles ready to flood Michigan.” I’m not against Michigan’s legalization of pot, so why does the notion of someday seeing pot edibles on the counter next to the M&Ms at 7-11 bother me?
- This is a sincere question: Will you try them? Be honest.
- Is saying to someone “Are you tired, you look tired?” the worst thing you can say to someone or just somewhere in the Top 10?
- The Detroit Lions signing running back/bowling ball C.J. Anderson was (I can’t believe I’m going to say this) a great move. Kerryon Johnson is a stud, but the game has changed. You can’t get by with a single bell cow back anymore. No one man can take that much pounding.
- I want to start a gambling website where people bet on when the ginormous snow pile in their local Meijer or Walmart finally melts. Who’s with me? In my town, I’d put my money on June 15th.
- Emojis are a modern form of hieroglyphics.
- If I search for a local business online and visit their website and they don’t tell me their prices and instead want me to call or fill out a form, I’m gone. That’s the price they pay for wasting my time. If you have to hide your prices, they’re too high. ) (And, jeez oh Pete, I just wanted to know how much it is to rent a photo booth for a party. Why does that have to turn into a “thing.”)
- You can help me with a future column. I’m writing about whether or not families with mixed political beliefs talk about or avoid politics at family gatherings. Shoot me a note at [email protected] (Preview: My family begs me not to stir up my brothers. I do anyway.)
- “There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.” – Jane Austen
Image credit: Donkey Hotey