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Come Heller high water … the Pinocchio edition

January 24, 2018 by Andrew Heller 43 Comments

Come Heller high water …

  • Trump says he’ll testify under oath with Robert Mueller. Show of hands: If he does, will he tell the truth?
  • Anybody? Hello?
  • Well, when you lie for a living (2,000 documented whoppers since he took office), I guess it’d be surprising if anyone thought he’d start telling the truth all of sudden.
  • Even if he testifies and even if he tells the truth, will anyone know it? Read a transcript of  some of his comments sometime – they’re gibberish. His comments start in the desert of his intelligence, wander through the swamp of his frontal cortex then meander wherever the hell the rest of his brain sends them. You never quite know what the guy is saying. It’s brilliant in its own weird way. He can always claim to be telling the truth as he sees it and you just misconstrued  it.
  • Hmm, looking at that last paragraph, I think I may have been guilty of Trump-speak. But it was fun!
  • It feels like Mueller is getting close to a conclusion. From what I’ve seen, there’s no doubt Trump’s campaign colluded with Russia – or tried to – and no doubt that he tried to obstruct justice. Zero doubt there. But I don’t think Republicans will remove him. At most, they’ll wag their fingers at him and life will go on. We’ve reached a zero-shame stage in Washington. In the nation, too, I fear.
  • Even if they do dump him, I’d fear Pence more than I do Trump. Trump’s a zealot, but he’s an incompetent zealot.  Little gets done. But Pence isn’t incompetent. It’s scary what he might do with an all-Tea Party Congress.
  • MSU’s Larry Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison for abusing all of those young gymnasts. And yet even 175 years doesn’t seem like enough.
  • Nassar read an apology in court but it was one of those back-handed ones: “There are no words that can describe the depth and breadth of how sorry I am for what has occurred.” Notice the use of “for what has occurred” instead of “what I did to you.” That’s someone who doesn’t think he did anything wrong. Enjoy prison, dude.
  • MSU president Lou Anna Simon resigning. Good. My god, the university botched this. She’s no scapegoat. This was handled badly. MSU is in for a world of hurt on lawsuits. Could we see criminals charges as well?
  • I’m a Tom Izzo fan, but he didn’t walk back nearly hard enough his ridiculous and insulting comment that he hopes “the right person was convicted.” That’s about as tone deaf as you can get. Maybe Tom has some insight the court system doesn’t.
  • Gov. Snyder’s take on the state of the state: “We’re accelerating this comeback into the future.” My take on the state of the state: Snyder doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The comeback he takes credit for is because of the nationwide economic recovery, and Michigan still lags far behind most states. Flint is still drinking bottled water three years later. Our roads are still a wreck. Our schools are underfunded, as he himself has said. Michigan used to be a leading progressive state. Now we’re closer to being Michissippee. He gets a D- grade from me. This is not me being Democrat Andy. This is me being “I have eyes” Andy. We used to be a lot, lot better.
  • I’m looking forward to the Winter Olympics, which is unprecedented. I’m written at least one insulting column about them every year since time began. Figure skating is silly. Hockey is dull. Curling is absurd. And bobsledding is just gravity in action. And yet I want to watch this year. Maybe that says something about the general state of TV these days. Or maybe … good god, could it be me? Has my life gotten this dull? I’ll let you know after I watch.
  • Maybe “The Bachelor” should be an Olympic sport. That’d liven things up.
  • I saw “The Post.” It made me homesick for newspapers. Print, I figure, is due for a revival. Society needs papers more than ever. Paper papers, I mean. The problem with today is there are so many news dropouts – people who don’t consume news, consume only partisan news, or get their news from Russian-generated memes.
  • I’m going to recommend to you a cartoon that my college daughter recommended to me. It’s called “The Awkward Yeti,” but it’s really about your internal organs having conversations. Look it up online. Even better: It’s by a guy named Nick Seluk, who went to Northville High and Central Michigan University, my alma mater. Funny stuff.
  • “All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” – Michael John Bobak.

Image credit: Donkey Hotey

Filed Under: All Columns, Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, Come Heller high water

Comments

  1. Tom says

    January 24, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    I want to start calling myself a Yankee, or a GreatLakeser, or something other than an American. It is not just Trump. It is those dopey fibbing southern senators who make me ashamed to say American, Fibbing Sessions, Cotten, Perdue et al.

    Reply
  2. Linda says

    January 24, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    If Lou Anna Simon was informed and did nothing, she was complicit. If others knew and it did not get up to her, there is something wrong at MSU. She owed it to those girls and the University to be at the trial and sentencing, and she owes it to those girls and the University to take a stand and make a statement. And will the trustee who went on the radio and made those ridiculous comments please resign.

    Reply
  3. Jims says

    January 24, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    A lot of people should resign over Nasser, some parents included. From some of the testimony I heard they were told but ignored it. I raised two daughters and never ever would they have been in a doctors examining room by themselves. Many many people new what was going on for years and shame on them. I guess they thought fame and fortune were more important.

    Reply
  4. Ernie says

    January 24, 2018 at 9:39 pm

    Good things happening and still not over Hil-liery losing.

    Reply
  5. Linda says

    January 24, 2018 at 9:57 pm

    Just reading about the Republicans having a fit because 2 FBI agents didn’t like Trump, even though they were removed from the investigation when that was known. Does anybody remember Chaffetz immediately holding a press conference when he learned Clinton’s investigation had been reopened, instead of taking that news to the committee? Didn’t that mean that he was involved in an investigation but did not like the person being investigated?

    Reply
  6. Working Dad says

    January 25, 2018 at 2:56 am

    Release the memo

    Reply
    • Tommy B says

      January 25, 2018 at 7:08 am

      The memo Nunes wrote. By all means release it so that lying sack of shit can be exposed for the liar he is. He won’t release it because it is more useful as a political tool than whatever it alleges. Besides he already violated the disclosure rules of the classified information that he received. He should be investigated and removed.

      Reply
    • jbcsfl says

      January 25, 2018 at 11:42 am

      Yes I agree.
      The memo should be released for all to see.

      Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      January 25, 2018 at 8:05 pm

      God, that’s been thoroughly debunked. You and your conspiracy theories. Jeez.

      Reply
      • Working Dad says

        January 26, 2018 at 4:35 am

        You are a complete liar Andy Heller. Nothing regarding the FISA memo has been “debunked”. When the damning evidence from the memo is released, you will write Democrat talking points bullshit trying to minimize it’s importance and impact because you are a Dem tool.

        http://www.nationalreview.com/article/455727/release-the-memo-and-evidence

        Reply
        • Tom says

          January 27, 2018 at 5:25 pm

          Lazy Dad – You fool! Please go away forever! Do not come to this forum if you believe Andrew is, “a complete liar.” Insults to our faces are no darn good! Please go somewhere else, where the dopes and the antelope play. You are the least polite, least likeable person in Michigan. Shoo!

          Reply
        • Mark says

          January 29, 2018 at 3:11 pm

          The Nationalreview.com is your source? That’s cute, RWNJ

          Reply
  7. jbcsfl says

    January 25, 2018 at 6:04 am

    Nassar is gone, and none too soon, he ruined the lives of many young girls.
    Simon resigned as president of MSU over the Nassar scandal, wise move.
    The fibber in chief is in the cross hairs of Mueller’s investigation, he should be worried, he should follow Simon’s lead and resign.
    Yikes, if trump is out of office, for whatever the reason, we are stuck with Pence, that is even worse.

    Reply
    • Teddy Luba says

      January 25, 2018 at 8:49 am

      1) If Pence knew what was going on, he should be removed from office.
      2) If Pence didn’t know what was going on, he should be removed from office for stupidity.

      Reply
  8. Jim III says

    January 25, 2018 at 10:53 am

    The hatred expressed by andrew and the other liberal writers on the subject of President Trump is way overboard. You are blinded by that hatred. No matter what President Trump does you will find something negative in it. American companies are hiring more workers. Some are giving the rank and file bonuses. Instead of focusing on that. You find that some companies are not doing the same and you focus on them only. Andrew says that President Trump has lied over 2,000 times. But those “lies” are more than likely things that President Trump spoke that the liberal/socialist democrats did not like.
    As far as the mueller “investigation” goes so far there has been no collusion between DJT and the Russians. The dossier is looking more like a false flag event put out by the democrats. The fingers keep pointing back to hilLIARY clinton and her cohorts in the democratic part.
    If President Trump does meet with mueller and his team it should be under the same terms as hilLIARY did when she was investigated by the FBI. Off the record and not under oath.
    No matter what President Trump says during the interrogation, mueller and the corrupt investigation team will take the smallest thing that might not match what someone else has said and run screaming to the democrats that President Trump was not truthful.
    I will state it again the so called Russian interference had no impact on the votes that were cast by republicans. We listened to what hilLIARY clinton said during her run for the presidency. We did not appreciate that she called us a basket of deplorables among many other nasty words. The miners in Virginia heard hilLIARY said about putting them out of work. So they voted for President Trump.
    Yes release the memo. Nunes did not write the memo, so far as I understand, it was written by someone else. The republicans want to release the memo, the democrats do not want it released. It could prove very damaging to the democrats. DOJ holdovers from obama do not want it released either.

    Reply
    • Fred says

      January 25, 2018 at 11:39 am

      The stable genius in you is really shining today.

      Reply
    • Working Dad says

      January 25, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      Don’t even try to get a rational response from the rabid, dumbass, socialist/communist, lying bastards that make up the Democrat party. To Hell with all of them. Don’t ever comprise with them. Never give in to even 1% of their demands. Just keep working to kick their asses at every juncture and celebrate their howls of hatred.

      Consider every Democrat to be a useless POS.

      Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      January 25, 2018 at 8:04 pm

      I don’t hate the guy. I think he’s an awful human being and a lousy president who cares more about himself than the country. I think he’s mean, small and fairly dumb. I think he’s morally bankrupt. None of that is hate. What I hate is what he’s doing to the country and to the office.

      Reply
      • Working Dad says

        January 25, 2018 at 9:29 pm

        Bullshit! You are the very definition of hate Andy Heller.

        Reply
        • Jims says

          January 26, 2018 at 1:05 am

          No hate in your reply though is there?

          Reply
    • Tom says

      January 27, 2018 at 5:31 pm

      Jim 3, you are an S-head, in the Trumpian sense. And! You write the longest, silliest too-long barely-literate articles I ever have seen. Do you believe people actually bother to read through your silly posts? Dream on, fool.

      Reply
      • Jim III says

        January 28, 2018 at 7:40 pm

        Yes, I sometimes I realize that you s write long musings, but I do so that maybe you might comprehend some things. Like the expression “useful idiots” and who first used it.
        The only way that they are barely literate is because you, fred and other liberal writes need a more intense explanation of what is going on.
        The only ones that intolerant are liberals/socialists like you.

        The lame stream media only presents one side of the story. The media now a days think that we the people should bow down and roll over while they tell us who we should vote for. Writers like andrew are upset that the flyover country people and deplorables did not listen to them.
        They are of the opinion that according to their polls hilLIARY should have won the election. Their opinion was that the republicans should not have even gone to the polls and voted.

        Reply
    • Mark says

      January 29, 2018 at 3:15 pm

      Those 2000 lies were just that, lies. Not fake news, not alternative truths, just lies

      Reply
  9. Fred says

    January 25, 2018 at 11:38 am

    Trump will beat those 2000 lies in his State of the Union address, alone. It promises to be a doozy. No, I will not be watching.

    Don’t worry about Pence. His hands will be tied after the mid-terms, and no way will he be re-elected after Trump’s base crawls back under their rocks when he is removed.

    The only positive thing about Trump is he taking the Republican Party down with him.

    Reply
    • Jim III says

      January 25, 2018 at 5:37 pm

      How many lies did obama use his time in office? Among them :If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor, The cost for your insurance will cost less under the aca. Quite a few people had their cost of their insurance increase instead of decreasing. There are a number of others, too long of a list to write at one time.
      No the republican party is not going down. It is the democrats that are going to take a hit. with schummer shutting down the government over daca program and a couple of other issues. Schummer got taken to the woodshed by a lot democrats over his antics and stance during the “government shutdown”. He ticked off a lot of the military and other government employees when they found out that they were not going to get paid during the shut down. Meanwhile CONgress continued to draw their overpaid salaries. All members of CONgress should not get paid during the time of the shutdown.
      If these dreamers and other illegal immigrants were to vote republican instead of democrat, the democrats would get to work quickly to solve the problem. The democrats are using the dreamers and others to get votes in order to get back into the majority. Yes, fred you are a useful idiot along with andrew and the other liberal/socialists on this page.

      Reply
      • Fred says

        January 25, 2018 at 7:21 pm

        Wait. I thought I was the one who does the name calling around here?

        Reply
        • Jim III says

          January 25, 2018 at 8:36 pm

          I need to clarify that comment “useful idiots”. that phrase was coined by lenin.
          He used that term to describe those that he used to help him to take over Russia.
          They were called White Russians. As soon as lenin consolidated his power he either exterminated the White Russians. Lenin knew that once the White Russians realized that lenin was not going to share power with them, that they would turn on him.
          So lenin quickly did away with the White Russians.
          Hitler also used “useful idiots”. they were called brown shirts. Once hitler had consolidated his power he used the ss to disband the brown shirts by either killing them or sending them to concentration camps. The brown shirts had a lot of the lgbqt groups in their ranks.
          Mao had his version of useful idiots.

          Reply
      • Mark says

        January 29, 2018 at 3:18 pm

        That’s your go to for President Obamas lie? Your Doctor?

        Reply
  10. Bookie B says

    January 25, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    You’re right Andy. We (Michigan) used to be a lot better. Frankly the governor has little to do with the ups and downs. General Motors withdrawal from our state is what took it down. We used to have bazillions of people making bazillions of money and the state was a wonderful place to live and do business. Not so much today.

    Reply
  11. Working Dad says

    January 25, 2018 at 12:34 pm

    I have been pushing (along with thousands of other conservatives) to have President Trump read the damning FISA memo aloud during the state of the union address. I hope we can make this happen.

    #releasethememo

    Reply
    • Jims says

      January 25, 2018 at 1:26 pm

      Your a pussy. You hide behind your computer and say anything you want about people. You would never have the balls to say it to people’s faces would you?

      Reply
      • Brad says

        January 25, 2018 at 4:56 pm

        Poor LIAR Jims, please learn the difference between ‘ your’ and
        ‘you’re’. Recently, you were exposed as a LIAR on this tiny site, now you’re going to double down with the addition of illiteracy? There is an old axiom about digging when already in a hole. Heed it’s message internet tough guy.

        Reply
        • Jims says

          January 26, 2018 at 12:52 am

          You too ahole wouldn’t have the balls to say it to my face. Who give a rats ass how I write it you got the message didn’t you? Stick up for the lying idiot sexual predator your no different then the the perverted thing your call your president. Just grab em by the you now what. You ok with that? I am sure you are. Why am I a liar? So what is your point anyway?

          Reply
    • Working Dad says

      January 25, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      You sure are a precious little snowflake!

      Reply
      • Jims says

        January 26, 2018 at 12:55 am

        And you are a precious pervert that sticks up for a pig of a president.

        Reply
  12. Teddy Luba says

    January 25, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Andy, you know your in Michigan when the roads a smoother in winter than the rest of the year. All the potholes are full of snow.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      January 25, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      Very true.

      Reply
  13. Tom says

    January 27, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    The Usual Suspects… Our Trolls here seem to be especially mean, stupid, and irrational today. We feel maybe that they know us and like us a little bit. But, they call us nasty names, and refuse to behave as rational humans.

    I am extremely glad they do not live in my neighborhood or work at my company. I pity everybody who needs to deal with them in real life. Especially Working Dad. Apparently, he actually has kids! Poor berated long suffering actual human kids! I am so sorry, you kids! Real life is not as mean or as simplistic as your Dad tells you. Guns Money and Conspiracy Theories! Please, go away, Dad, and the rest of you preposterous twits!

    Reply
    • NativeOfMichigan says

      January 27, 2018 at 5:55 pm

      The noose is tightening around the White House. So Donnie and his supporters are getting very nervous and their hysteria is a reflection of their panic.

      Reply
      • Jim III says

        January 30, 2018 at 8:28 am

        Let us see. The republicans have voted to release the 4 page document. The democrats voted to not release the 4 page document.
        If the memo contained information that proof of some sort of Trump-Russian collusion, the republicans would never have voted to release the document. The democrats would have been screaming that the document needed to be released. Then maybe a democrat would have “leaked” the memo to the liberal/socialist media in order to smear the republicans.
        But since the democrats voted against releasing the memo, it probably has information that the democrats do not want released.

        Reply
        • Tommy B says

          January 30, 2018 at 11:00 am

          It probably has cherry picked information to tell a partisan narrative or it likely would have had bipartisan support. The minority’s memo was likewise voted down by the majority. So, the Republican Congressmen want transparency, as long as it is their version of transparency. SMH.

          Reply
  14. Working Dad says

    January 30, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Just to point out the obvious… Andy Heller has already written his SOTU response article even though the actual SOTU speech will not take place for several hours. It is a bunch of libtarded Democrat talking points where Andy will at very most fill in a few specific line items in order to try and hide the fact that he prewrote his article.

    For your information

    Reply
    • Tommy B says

      January 30, 2018 at 4:57 pm

      TROLL ALERT!

      Reply

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