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Come Heller high water … the “Can you believe the Democrats won something?” edition

December 13, 2017 by Andrew Heller 43 Comments

Come Heller high water …

  • Let’s not get too excited, Dems. The narrow election of Doug Jones over Roy “Mall Rat” Moore in Alabama does not mean the party’s back. Far from it. Democrats still have no national message, still have no leadership, still have no money, still have the baggage of Billary, and still have to overcome the right’s systematic and enormously successful nationwide gerrymandering and voter suppression tactics. All Jones’ election means is just barely enough voters in Alabama were uncomfortable enough with a sexual predator/closet Klansman representing them to get off the front porch couch and vote. Remember, only 40 percent of the electorate participated, and only half those people picked the better human being. That’s hardly the start of anything.
  • Oh, I know the front porch couch thing was a cheap shot. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
  • It’s easy to tell when Trump writes his tweets and when a staffer does. Trump: “Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a total flunky for Chuck Schumer and someone who would come to my office “begging” for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them), is now in the ring fighting against Trump. Very disloyal to Bill & Crooked-USED!” Not Trump: “Congratulations to Doug Jones on a hard fought victory. The write-in votes played a very big factor, but a win is a win. The people of Alabama are great, and the Republicans will have another shot at this seat in a very short period of time. It never ends!”
  • No, it never does, does it. Just when you think he can’t go any lower, he writes a tweet suggesting a female U.S. senator would be happy to trade sexual favors for a campaign contribution. If I were Gillibrand’s spouse, I’d wanna knock his lights out.
  • According to Fox News, Trump advisor and former “Apprentice” contestant Omarosa Manigault Newman was physically dragged from the White House after she was fired this week. I’m shocked, aren’t you? She seemed like such a stable and dignified woman.
  • Apropos of nothing, I had a Ding Dong the other day for the first time in years. They’re half the size that they used to be. What the heck? There’s no hope for humanity.
  • Every time I use the snow-blower, I feel vaguely embarrassed since I swore I’d never use one. It feels like a rejection of my he-man, 10-foot snowbank, Yooper heritage. What can I say, the lovely yet formidable Marcia wanted one. What was I to do?
  • Tweet of the Week honors go to the wicked John Dingell, who posted this after the Trump Mars announcement this week “I fully support @realDonaldTrump’s interest in space travel to Mars, and I wish him the absolute best in his travels.”
  • A report this week said Trump drinks 12 cans of Diet Coke a day. Just once, I’d like to see someone slip him a Mentos. (Let’s see if any of you get this.)
  • The same report said he watched 4-8 hours of TV every day, too. So if you wanna know what’s going on in “The Young and the Restless,” he’s probably your guy.
  • “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – -Dr. Seuss.

Image credit: DonkeyHotey

Filed Under: Come Heller high water

Comments

  1. Fred says

    December 13, 2017 at 7:56 pm

    True about the Democrats, but I am seeing some rising stars coming out of woodwork. I just hope they get the backing when the time comes.

    Republicans should realize that their party has been infiltrated by white nationalists. They are actually two separate parties now, and the Nationalist party is just running on the Republican ticket, and they are not conservatives.

    Republicans are sinking with Trump and the likes of Bannon and Moore. The smart thing would be to loudly condemn Trump tomorrow and demand his resignation, and then maybe they will have a chance at saving their careers.

    They would also serve themselves well to take a good hard look in the mirror and consider how they can reshape their image so that they no longer come off as homophobic, Islamophobic, racist, misogynist, bible thumping hypocrites who are afraid of change. Nikki Haley could lead the charge towards a more progressive Republican agenda, if they will let her. She should definitely run against Pence for the GOP nomination in 2020.

    Reply
  2. Fred says

    December 13, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    And about the Ding Dongs; I thought they got smaller too, but then I realized I got bigger.

    Reply
    • NativeOfMichigan says

      December 13, 2017 at 8:13 pm

      A lot of things in the grocery store come in smaller sizes. For example, juice cartons are 59 oz. but they used to be 64 oz. There are many other examples, chunk cheese, canned goods, etc. Why? It is a tricky way to raise prices, but I am not fooled.

      Reply
  3. NativeOfMichigan says

    December 13, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Many Republicans believe Donald Trump is working harder than any other president since World War II despite the fact he has played golf on average every 3.7 days. DT is nothing but a couch potato.

    Reply
    • P Schmidt says

      December 15, 2017 at 12:09 am

      Eisenhower played 4+ times a week–but he knew how to delegate and had good people on his staff!

      Reply
  4. Teddy Luba says

    December 13, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Andy, Your right on the money about Dems. The hierarchy needs to go because they leave a bad taste in the mouth of so many voters. I think there are some up and coming Dems but the hierarchy won’t let them bust out. I also think that bad taste is starting to spread to the Republicans who backed Trump.

    Reply
  5. Jims says

    December 13, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    The giving him a mento would be great. Maybe it would blow his hair straight up so we could really see where it is attached!!! Or not attached.

    Reply
    • Jim III says

      December 14, 2017 at 9:32 am

      I remember the myth busters episode where they did the mentos thing.
      I sure some of us of seen a lot of comb overs. President Trump as far as I can tell is
      doing a real hughee (sp) of one. I wonder why he never went to Bosley to see if they could do
      something about it. I will admit I have lost some hair on top. I will not wear a wig or go to
      Bosley. The only person’s opinion that matters on the hair issue is my wife. No one else.

      Reply
  6. Jim III says

    December 13, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    It is too early for the democrats to claim a major victory. They just lost the ability to harass a lot of republicans in 2018 about their past sexual history or any supposed wrong doing.
    On site I visited stated that Roy Moore was a democrat at the time when these women said that he was supposedly trying to date them or whatever.
    I have more to comment on but, I am tired from driving in the snow today. It took over 90 minutes to go from Owosso to my house to night. Usually it only takes less than 40 minutes to drive that far. Had a driver on the road on front of me who would just do around 20 miles an hour. You could do at least 35 and be safe, since M-21 was plowed at the time. What was worse, whoever was driving the vehicle in front of me would nearly come to a stop just about every time there was on coming traffic. They would slow down to about 5 mph, then pick up speed again.
    Time to go to sleep and unwind.

    Reply
    • Working Dad says

      December 14, 2017 at 7:10 am

      My trip home from work took 4X longer than usual last night. 🙁

      Reply
    • Tom says

      December 14, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      Jim 3, even W.D: These posts are okay! Good job, mostly! Thank you for acting like humans today.

      Reply
  7. Betty says

    December 13, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    Mentos are on the way to the White House. Now I’m waiting for the geyser. Hope the cameras are pointed at #45.

    Reply
  8. Working Dad says

    December 14, 2017 at 7:08 am

    Is it true that Gillibrand is a loyal ally of sexual molester Harvey Weinstein and that she has accepted large sums of donations from that particular Democrat rapist?

    Reply
    • Jims says

      December 14, 2017 at 7:38 am

      Probably was before the accusations surfaced. So what’s your point?

      Reply
  9. Dave Cobb says

    December 14, 2017 at 8:00 am

    Was watching CNN the night of this election They did a interview with Charles Barkley the former basketball star who was supporting Doug Jones. He pretty much called out the Demorcract party pretty good. He was telling them we got the ball rolling here to try to turn this Trump thing around start representing the people who voted for you the middle class , black people , and the poor. Stop trying to always make the 1 per center happy. But Iam afraid this will fall on deaf ears the second these Dems land back in D.C . They will go back to their we must compromise with Republican thinking , we must keep a open mind to agree always. While the Republican Party takes advange of the Demorcract mind set and shoves their self centered thinking down everyone’s throat It really hurts us all in the long run

    Reply
  10. Fred says

    December 14, 2017 at 9:39 am

    Just a heads up for anyone who cares.

    The current chairman of the FCC is a Verizon lobbyist who was installed for the sole purpose of giving three companies the power to monopolize our communications, and control what we see online. It will be the end of the free internet if he succeeds when they vote on December 17th.

    Comcast, Verizon and AT&T want to end net neutrality. They want to gut FCC rules, and then pass bad legislation that allows extra fees, throttling & censorship.

    Congress can put a stop to this. Call your Representatives today and demand that they preserve net neutrality, so that not just the wealthiest internet based companies can get their information out to the masses.

    Reply
  11. Jim III says

    December 14, 2017 at 9:52 am

    Here is some of my comments that I was too tired to post last night.
    Gerrymandering: When the republicans win via gerrmandering and the democrats lose, The democrats have hissy fits and scream that the republicans cheated.
    When the democrats win because of their gerrymandering and the republicans lose, the republicans complain about democrat gerrymandering the democrats say too bad that is the way it is.
    Andrew, just where have the republicans committed any voting rights to lawful American citizens? Please cite some examples. In, India, I do believe that it is mandatory that a person is registered to vote and they have to have a voter ID card. What happens if someone does not vote in India? I do not know. Oh, for your information voter ID card is not free and the voter has to pay for it. They make a lot less money in India than a poor person makes here in America..
    Can you prove that Roy Moore was a member of the kkk? Or are you citing something out of thin air? It is a proven fact that strum thurmond and a lot of southern democrats (maybe more than a few northern democrats) were members of the kkk. The kkk was founded by southern democrats. Yes they lynched some blacks. What is not mentioned is that they also hung some of the white carpet baggers that came to the south to beat down southerners.
    All those southerners that opposed MLK Jr. and the civil rights marchers were democrats and kkk members at the same time.
    MLK Jr. was a registered REPUBLICAN along with a lot of the civil rights marchers.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      December 14, 2017 at 1:37 pm

      That was a completely different era. Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, but that meant the opposite then, from what it means now. Many of us lived through the change involving Republicans and Democrats. How old are you? Do you remember this? Are you just trying to throw out, “amazing facts,” to clog up the conversation?

      Reply
      • Jim III says

        December 14, 2017 at 7:14 pm

        No, what is going on is the democrats are trying to rewrite history.
        Go back and read the book 1984 by George Orwell.
        1984 described a society run by liberal/socialist policies.
        As Ronald Regan stated “He did not leave the democratic party, it left him.”
        It used to be before color tvs became more available, democrats were the red party and the republicans were the blue party.
        The democrats realized that the red in many American minds meant an affiliation with the communist reds in Russia. So they some how arranged to have the colors switched. Since a majority of Americans had black and white televisions they did not notice the color change. I think it happened when LBJ was in office.
        Democrats were the slave owners and like some others in the world would be happy to have slavery back in fashion.

        Reply
  12. Working Dad says

    December 14, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    Thank goodness that liberal, anti free speech, hate based “Net Neutrality” has just been dumped.

    Good job!

    Reply
    • Tom says

      December 14, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      You will live to regret these words.

      Reply
      • Andrew Heller says

        December 15, 2017 at 8:12 pm

        Gosh, why have free and equal when you can have mega-corps taking it for their own and charging you a fortune to access info. Something tells me libraries and books are gonna get popular again.

        Reply
    • Jims says

      December 14, 2017 at 3:52 pm

      WD. Look up net nuutrality and tell me how it was anti free speech.

      Reply
    • Jims says

      December 14, 2017 at 8:16 pm

      When you are dead wrong no reply. Typical trumpster!

      Reply
  13. Brad says

    December 14, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    andi punching someone’s lights out? Oh please…… such tough talk from the cuck who is too offended to call the popular lawn game ‘ CORNHOLE’ ( like the rest of civilization) and prefers calling it ‘BAGS’? I’d pay $ to see Beret Boy show up at a tailgate/house party and walk around using the term ‘BAGS’. A bit of advice here cuckster, if you plan on using your chosen term, make sure you’re wearing one of those liberal pink vagina hats. They won’t hit a female.

    Reply
    • Working Dad says

      December 14, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      I believe Andy identifies as non binary.

      Reply
    • Fred says

      December 14, 2017 at 6:31 pm

      And you are the one who is afraid of homosexuals.

      Tell your wife I said Hi!

      Reply
  14. Working Dad says

    December 14, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    During today’s hearing when Obama’s “Net Neutrality” was repealed, Democrats called in a bomb threat. Democrats will use terrorism in any form to push their agenda.

    Reply
    • Jims says

      December 14, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      Why do you want big corporations to control what you read or the content that you see on the Internet? Why do you want them to dictate the speed and control the price you pay?

      Reply
      • Jim III says

        December 14, 2017 at 10:11 pm

        The media is controlled by big corporations already. They filter the news quite a bit.
        They release only the information they want people to have. abc, cbs, nbc, cnn, msnbc and yes even fox news is controlled by a large corporation. I do not care what news outlet you pick they all have their own slant. I used to have friends who read newspapers and other news items from different nations in Europe. What we were told here in America and what was printed in Europe on the same story did not match. The way life goes on those sources grew old and died off. I no longer have any sources that read foreign newspapers.

        Reply
      • Working Dad says

        December 15, 2017 at 4:46 am

        The free market dictates the speed and price. A free market drives lower cost and encourages innovation.

        Win Win!

        Reply
        • Jims says

          December 15, 2017 at 8:34 am

          What kind of drugs do you take? You need to either get them changed or up the dose!!!!

          Reply
          • Fred says

            December 15, 2017 at 9:54 am

            They could control the air we breathe and he would call it “free market”. He is stupid. You can’t reason with stupid.

          • Andrew Heller says

            December 15, 2017 at 8:05 pm

            Nope. All you can do is hope it goes away and leaves you alone. (It’s the intentional stupidity that bugs me — you know any of these righties would HATE Moore if he’d molested or hit on their daughters.But if it’s someone else, well, you know, it’s unproven.

          • Working Dad says

            December 15, 2017 at 8:52 pm

            GFYS Andy Heller…. You were so damned drunk when you replied to my comment that you couldn’t even tell I was discussing “Net Neutrality” and not Judge Moore.

            You sure do drink a lot! Alky much Andy?

          • Fred says

            December 15, 2017 at 11:26 pm

            Yourself is one word.

  15. Tom says

    December 14, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    People often say our politics are, “tribal.” They leave it at that, do not explain. I have an explanation: In the USA, we have two large uber tribes, the Waynes and the Kennedys.

    The Waynes are our right-wingers who admire John Wayne’s Hollywood roles, as cowboys and fighting sergeants and fighter pilots, people who want to be tough and to fight, even if there is nothing real to fight about. The Kennedys are our lefties, who identify with Jack and Jackie’s manners and glamour, intelligence, compassion, and with the real-world heroism of PT-109 and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

    Waynes versus Kennedys. Which is your tribe? You can pick. You can switch. That is one of the good things about being American. We can pick. None of us is born into one tribe or the other. We are free to choose.

    Reply
    • Jim III says

      December 15, 2017 at 7:08 pm

      JFK’s father ran moonshine in the 1920’s. That is how he amassed a lot of his fortune.
      If it was not for his father’s influence, JFK would have been brought before a “Captain’s Mast”, it is a judiciary process in the Navy that determines pecuniary liability ie.. who was at fault. The investigation of the loss of PT109 determined that JFK was not completely blame free.
      He was spared a more strict reprimand due to his dad’s influence. The Navy takes a very dim view of the lose of a ship.
      JFK would be considered a sexual predator by today’s standards. He was no saint when it came to affairs with other women. Same with LBJ. He was not a nice person either.

      Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      December 15, 2017 at 8:10 pm

      I like this, Tom. But I think there’s a third category — The A-Holes. Sorry for being crude, but I’ve been wanting to write a column for two years now about the Tea Party. They’re not for anything. They’re just against everything. These are the types who howl about the injustice of taxes but are the first to gripe about the condition of the roads. They’re the ones who want a state religion, women back in the kitchen, blacks and other “minorities” (I use ” because I hate that term – when whites are finally the minority in this country, you’ll suddenly see that dismissive term die off) to just accept being second class citizens, and for gays to not exist. They don’t have a kind word to say about anyone unless they’re also a-holes, which explains why they like the Head A-hole so much. So for me it’s Waynes, Kennedys and A-Holes.

      Reply
  16. Working Dad says

    December 15, 2017 at 4:43 am

    Here is an awesome video from Adjit Pai (FCC Chairman) explaining how after the ending of the Obama era imposed, anti free speech regulations known as “Net Neutrality”, you will still be using the internet in the exact same manner with no changes.

    https://youtu.be/U6Y8xrh7XyI

    Reply
    • Oldugly says

      December 15, 2017 at 9:27 pm

      WD, have you been smoking something weird lately? (Hang in there, it will be legal for your mental issues soon.) OR, did you fail The Logical Analysis part of your high school debate class? Have you even thought about what Pai did for a living prior to being appointed to the FCC chair? Of course he will say exactly what his former employers told him to say when he worked for them. My guess is truthful answers from you would be, “Yes. Yes. No.”

      Reply
  17. Suzee H says

    December 15, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    LOVE the front porch couch comment! I think it is a hoot and not a cheap shot at all… you hit the nail on the head!! 🙂 🙂

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      December 15, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      Ha, thanks!

      Reply

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