Come Heller high water … the August 23rd edition

Come Heller high water …

• So glad to hear that Lear is opening a car seat manufacturing site at the old Buick City site in Flint. That’s good news for the entire region. The only downside is Lear is related to the auto industry and its massive ups and downs. Maybe at this point no one cares about diversifying the economy. Jobs is jobs.
• Also great to see pro golf coming back to Warwick Hills. The whole region lost a lot of zip and prestige when the Buick Open departed. The Ally Challenge Champions Tour (meaning the senior tour) will be a great fit for Warwick’s soft greens. And just think, only nine years until Tiger Woods qualifies. I wonder if the hole 17 stands will as rowdy as they were for the younger players? I’m guessing not. Somehow it seems undignified to get boozed up and do the wave for players in their 50s and 60s.
• I freely admit that I wasn’t interested in the “totality” eclipse and didn’t understand why people were so giddy about it. But then I often don’t get things and people that seem to excite everyone else, including but not limited to Dabbing, the Macarena, chicken wings, soccer, Adele, low-rise jeans, Fast & the Furious movies, kitten photos, kale, and Instagram.
• As a lifelong journalist, though, I have to tell you that my industry hyped the living bejeezus out of the eclipse, so it’s no wonder it turned into a thing. Why’d we do it? Because it was a good “soft” story during summer, which is always a slow time for news.
• I was dismayed to see nearly every media outlet scoff at GOP President Trump for glancing up at the eclipse without his eclipse glasses on, as if to suggest he’s such a doofus that he doesn’t know not to stare at the sun. That’s the kind of easy shot that gives credence to the idea that the media is out to get him. I wonder if anyone told the sun not to stare directly at Trump or risk madness?
• And, please, the eclipse did not “bring us all together and remind us all of our shared humanity,” as so many gag-inducing commentators said. The best thing it did in my view is give people an excuse to leave work for a few minutes on a Monday.
• Yes, I have my cynical shoes on today. But I did like this meme: “I tried to watch the eclipse through my colander, but it strained my eyes.”
• A new survey says Detroit Lions fans are the second most dateable fans in the league. I figure it’s the pity factor.
• USA Today is asking readers what the best attraction is in every state. For Michigan, it has to be the Great Lakes, yes? Possible exception: Sleeping Bear dunes. Don’t argue with me.
• This is the time of year that I want to carry green spray paint to cover any leaves that are prematurely turning color. Admit it. You do, too.
• None of you will remember this, but I did, in fact, say before the season started that Mikie Mahtook would be the Tigers’ starting centerfielder.
• German border police this week seized thousands of orange ecstasy pills shaped like Trump’s head. Apparently no one wanted them because they were too yuge to swallow.
• There’s a song on the iTunes Top 50 list that consists of nothing but silence. Why didn’t Madonna think of this back in the ‘80s? Think what the world would have been spared.
• One of the new McDonald’s automated menu computers charged a customer .99 for a hamburger with no meat, cheese, bun or condiments, in other words nothing. It was the healthiest thing not consumed there all day.
• In China, a motorist drove into a sinkhole because he was on his cell phone. He wasn’t hurt, but he was upset he could only get one bar down there.
• How come colleges don’t give discounts to legacy students?
• “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Image credit: Greg Gjerdingen