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Come Heller high water … the April 26th edition

April 26, 2017 by Andrew Heller 21 Comments

Come Heller high water…

  • Some NFL draft experts – including Mel Kiper Jr. – have the Lions picking controversial running back Joe Mixon in the second round. If they do, I am done with this team and shall semi-root for them no more. (I actually and wholeheartedly root for the Green Bay Packers and always have. I root for the Lions the way you root for the kid who never gets picked for dodgeball.) Mixon is the guy who punched an Oklahoma woman in the face in a sandwich shop near campus in 2014. If you haven’t seen the video of it, go watch it then tell me you’d want him representing your team. Yeah, everyone deserves a second chance, but some things are just too much.
  • Admittedly, I’m not the type of fan who roots for whomever they put on the field, court, rink or diamond. I have this antique belief that a sports franchise means something and shouldn’t associate itself with bad people who do bad, no good, rotten things. That’s why my all-time favorites are good citizen athletes like Al Kaline and Bart Starr. I’m such an idiot.
  • I think the same way about politicians, too. They oughta be good people, which is why I will never support your president (not mine), he-who-shall-not-be-named. I think the person who holds the office matters a lot more than the party that holds the office, but clearly a lot of people feel differently. Winning seems to be all that matters.
  • I want truth in advertising for dishwashing soap. The commercials show people stuffing caked on, baked on lasagna pans into the dishwasher and they emerge spotless. That’s b.s. That’s never happened in the history of lasagna or dishwashing soap. There oughta be a law.
  • Speaking of commercials, Green Mountain coffee had a perfectly amusing one featuring, apropos of nothing, fornicating dogs by the name of Pepe and Blanca. Then they went and edited the dogs and their puppies out and now the commercial is no fun whatsoever.
  • One of the very, very, very few things the current state Legislature has done right is raise the speed limit on 600 miles of rural freeway to 75. People already drive much faster than that on those stretches, but it’s nice that the speed at which you might get a ticket will rise to 82, which is the official limit plus the 7 mph the police give you before bothering with you.
  • Trump signed an executive order to identify national monuments that can be rescinded or resized to allow for drilling, mining and other development. That is so depressing it hurts. Then again, I’ve always thought an oil rig would look smashing next to Old Faithful. And how long until there’s a Trump Tower on top of Teddy Roosevelt’s head at Mt. Rushmore? If he does that, at least make it two towers so it looks like horns or something.
  • Wait. Weren’t executive orders the devil’s tool when Obama was issuing them? So how come they’re OK now?
  • That might be the most rhetorical question I’ve ever asked.
  • Insanity runs amok these days. The United Nations this week elected Saudi Arabia to its Commission on Women’s Rights, which is a bit like electing the Saudis to lead the international war on terror, isn’t it? (In case you’ve forgotten, most of the 9/11 terrorists were Saudi.)
  • “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison.

Image credit: Peter Harrison

Filed Under: All Columns, Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, Come Heller high water

Comments

  1. Dick H. says

    April 26, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    AS I see it, the only gain to be seen by raising the speed limit is greater certainty of death if you have an accident, the likely-hood of which will increase. We are in much greater need of funds and employee utilization on road repairs than on a bunch of new speed limit signs. The State Police would also likely see a drop in income. Maybe our law-makers should get a little education in the physics of moving bodies.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 26, 2017 at 10:59 pm

      I’m with ya on road repairs.

      Reply
  2. Suzee Havercroft says

    April 26, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    I agree with Dick H. Raising the speed limit is stupid! The idiots that decided to do this should have to pay for all the new speed limit signs out of THEIR OWN pockets!! I am so sick of the Pig with Shoes ( aka Cheeto Boy ) signing executive orders that are bad for our country but great for himself and his rich buddies… SMH…

    Reply
    • Tom says

      April 26, 2017 at 11:44 pm

      Is SMH one of those internet things we are supposed to know, like LOL? Save My Home? See More Hair? Some Munchkins Horrify? Oh! Maybe your initials? As Rosanne Rosanna-Dana might say: Never mind.

      Reply
    • Tom says

      April 26, 2017 at 11:59 pm

      SMH: One of the great books we used to joke about was The Open Pajama Front by Seymour Hair.

      Reply
  3. Al Kurmas says

    April 27, 2017 at 6:19 am

    You have never before sounded so smart (especially since printed matter is so difficult to hear), but you comment on Al Kaline is spot on.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 27, 2017 at 6:06 pm

      I love Al. I got a photo of him two spring trainings ago while he was talking with Jack White from the White Stripes. Quite funny

      Reply
  4. Jim says

    April 27, 2017 at 11:14 am

    Once again, everyone of your bullets have hit their mark dead nuts center.
    Once again, I agree with everything you have said.
    Jim

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      You must be smart.

      Reply
  5. Paula Shelhamer says

    April 27, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Bring back Pepe & Bianca!!!

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      I know!

      Reply
  6. jbcsfl says

    April 27, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Andy, your bullet points have hit the mark dead center.
    I agree with everything you have said.

    Jim

    Reply
  7. NativeOfMichigan says

    April 27, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    “Winning seems to be all that matters.” That’s what it’s all about for too many people in this country. Look at what is disappearing all around us: respect, ethics, honesty, decency, integrity. The ones who support he-who-shall-not-be-named don’t really care about his bad character because of their own selfishness, it’s all about me, me, and me. Very depressing!

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      Yup.

      Reply
  8. Suzee H says

    April 27, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    SMH means: shaking my head… in disbelief or disgust… which ever seems right at the time… 🙂 🙂

    Reply
  9. Jim III says

    April 27, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    Here is a book you need to read Andrew: Shattered, Inside Hillary Clinton’s
    doomed campaign.
    This book was written by reporters Jonathon Allen and Aimee Parnes.
    These reporters are not republican reporters. They wrote a book in 2013 called
    HRC. In this book they praised Hilliary Clinton. In HRC they opined that HRC would make a very good president. They are 2 very liberal reporters. They also do not like President Trump.
    They apparently think that the previous president was a good one.
    Again, the Russians had no hand in hilliary losing the election. She did herself in with her background.

    You are definitely not a geologist. An oil rig would never be built next to Old Faithful. There is no oil in Yellowstone Park or in the surrounding area.
    That and the fact that Yellowstone Park is very unstable from volcanic activity that is underground.

    I do not think that President Trump would ever put his mark on Mt. Rushmore.
    It more likely that those who think that the previous president should be up there would dishonor such a monument with visage.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      April 28, 2017 at 12:25 am

      Dear Jimmy 3,
      Have you ever noticed that the word LITERAL is only one letter different from the word LIBERAL? You yourself may be in danger! You take all these ironic joke posts LITERALLY. Maybe you are starting to tend LIBERALLY. You yourself may not even realize it yet. Maybe, go for a checkup.

      People who cannot get a joke are even worse than people who cannot take a joke. Please study the 97th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which requires all American citizens to have a sense of humor, and mandates deportation for those who cannot git it.

      Reply
      • Fred says

        April 28, 2017 at 12:20 pm

        Being so defensive is a sign that he is wrestling with his own conscience. I think there is hope for Jim.

        Taking down the fences and letting go of the anger is surprisingly liberating.

        Reply
  10. Jim III says

    April 28, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    Fred, Tom
    I have probably studied more psychology than you two combined.
    You to are following the saul alinsky way of doing things. To wit: accuse the other side of what you are doing.
    I have noticed that liberals riot and scream bloody murder when things do not go their way.
    I am not a fan of Ann Coulter, but I have been reading that the liberal students at Berkley threw a gigantic spastic fit when it was announced that she would be speaking at Berkley. All sorts of threats were made by the liberal students.
    Liberals may say that they are for free speech and they are, so long the speech follows their ideas.
    If a conservative shares her/his views on a subject and the liberals object, their way of striking back is to label the conservatives speech as hate speech.
    All I have to do to find out what kind of person someone is is to say or write something that they do not like. Then I sit back and watch for their next action. If it is derogatory then I know that they are a bigoted, close minded liberal.
    That is also that the tactics of a bully. As one meme that I seen said “when you see liberals dressed the same as ISIS, then you voted for the right person.

    Reply
    • Fred says

      April 28, 2017 at 2:01 pm

      So your point is “Liberals are bad people”?

      I still detect a lot of defensiveness in your message.

      Congratulations on your expertise in the psychology world.

      Reply
    • Fred says

      April 28, 2017 at 2:04 pm

      If you think I am a bully, I guess that means I can count on your vote if I ever run for president.

      Reply

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