Come Heller high water … the July 6 edition

Come Heller high water …

• As political scandals go, Hillary Clinton’s use of private email servers is watered-down, low-fat vanilla yogurt. One might even say (if one is trying to irritate one’s smug Republican friends) it’s even Whitewateresque – generating lots of smoke from the faux outrage crowd but little fire. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. It does. It matters a great deal because it tells us – or maybe just me – a lot about Clinton. Most of all it tells me she’s not nearly as smart as she thinks she is. A smart person – in this age of cyber-crime – would never, ever send government-related emails through personal servers, much less sensitive material. A smart person – especially one who’s been hounded for decades – also would understand that sooner or later her enemies would find out. Because they always do. So why give them ammo? That’s just bad strategy, and we need a fantastic strategic thinker in the White House.
• Hey, Republicans, don’t get too cocky. Your guy is worse. I know it. You know it. Heck, the whole world knows it. That’s why this is going to be the oddest presidential election in my lifetime. I can see the network TV news theme now: “Decision 2017 – Scylla or Charybdis?” If you’ve forgotten your high school Greek mythology, Scylla is a six-headed sea monster and Charybdis is a giant sucking whirlpool. I’ll let you decide which candidate is which.
• “Hello, Joe Biden, this is America, what are you doing for the next four to eight years?”
• Gov. Snyder says he’ll go all the way to the Michigan Supreme Court to make sure teachers don’t get back the $550 million the state illegally (according to several court rulings) deducted from their paychecks to fund retiree health care. And right after that he’ll sneak into teacher’s homes and steal the roast beast and all of the tree trimmings. Seriously, what is with this guy? More to the point, what is with his party’s hatred and loathing for teachers? It’s their money – give it back.
• Dear Detroit Tigers: The 2016 Cleveland Indians are not some weird mash-up of the 1927 New York Yankees, the 1975 Cincinnati Reds and the gods of Mt. Olympus softball team. They’re in fact a pretty ordinary team with slightly above average starting pitching. Stop treating them like they’re a team made up of your older brothers who are going to give you atomic wedgies if you dare challenge them. Instead, try – I don’t know – a little fire and anger. You never know, it might just work.
• That’s pretty much this team’s problem, isn’t it? They’re as placid as a windless day. They’re a bunch of solid professionals who go about their business, win or lose. Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes it’s not. A good manager – see where I’m going with this? – would recognize the difference and apply the spurs when needed. Brad Ausmus doesn’t do that. Ergo, his new title should be “former manager of the Detroit Tigers.” Al Avila, you listening?
• One more thing: I could play right field better than Steven Moya. Right now. At age 55. With a bum knee and a rag arm.
• If there’s something more relaxing than watching a lawn sprinkler, I don’t know what it is.
• “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson.

Image credit: DonkeyHotey