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All of a sudden … things are better

January 20, 2021 by Andrew Heller 19 Comments

All of a sudden:
  • The Justice Department, FBI and CIA are suddenly competent again
  • Russia isn’t our buddy
  • COVID isn’t a hoax
  • NATO is a good thing, not a bad one
  • Facts are facts
  • We don’t “love” and encourage insurrectionist mobs
  • The Wall is again what it has always been — a boondoggle
  • We’re back in the Paris Accords and climate change is real
  • The world is no longer laughing at us
  • We don’t have to worry “God, what did he do today.”
  • The environment matters
  • Science is real
  • Lies are lies and truth is truth
  • Mitch “Yertle” McConnell doesn’t decide everything
  • Chreesmas is no longer a fuckeeng hassle
  • No more blood red Xmas trees at the White House
  • It’s not funny to mock disabled reporters
  • The entire government isn’t the president’s play-thing
  • Black and brown people aren’t second class citizens
  • When crowds chant “Lock him up,” they might mean Trump
  • There aren’t “good people” on both sides
  • We’re no longer “in love” with Kim Jong Un
  • Grabbing women by the kitty-kat isn’t just innocent boys will be boys behavior
  • Oil doesn’t matter more than just about everything else
  • Coal is again a foul, dirty way to power anything
  • Muslims aren’t all terrorists
  • We never have to worry again about the My Pillow guy setting policy
  • Or the Fox & Friends morons
  • Or Rush Limbaugh
  • Or Sean Hannity
  • Or Laura Ingraham
  • No more Rudy Giuliani either (until his trial, I mean.)
  • We’ll never have to see the president hug a fugging American flag again
  • No more incessant campaign rallies
  • No more stable geniuses
  • We’ll have a president who can drink a glass of water with one hand.
  • Reporters will no longer be the enemy of the people and will instead be viewed as what they are – indispensable to a free society
  • Ignorance and bigotry are again bad things – who’d a thunk it?
  • Reading isn’t stupid
  • Twitter can go back to being a dying platform
  • It’s wrong for the government to kidnap children
  • No more gaslighting
  • No more spinning tallies of presidential lies (The Washington Post’s lie counter has him at 30,500. Which is a whoooole lot of lying.)
  • Puerto Ricans will be treated as citizens rather than after-thoughts who don’t vote Republican
  • No more lobbing paper towels at hurricane victims
  • No more serving Big Macs at the White House

And finally, all of a sudden, a grown-up is again in charge.

At last.

God Bless America. And let’s not ever let this happen again.

 

Filed Under: All Columns, National politics

Comments

  1. R. A. V. says

    January 20, 2021 at 7:03 pm

    Nothing less than a “very emotional” moment for my wife & I watching the inauguration!
    Andrew, another great piece…Thank-you very much!
    I hope it doesn’t go too un-noticed, Moscow Mitch has had his (nasty) teeth pulled!!
    Let’s put politics aside as much as possible, do what is right, do what is best for America, take care of one another and please……never again may we lose our grip on dignity in the White House!!

    Reply
  2. Bill says

    January 20, 2021 at 7:36 pm

    It was so nice to see dignity and respect being brought back to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. What a breath of fresh air after the stench of the last 4 years

    Reply
  3. Glenn Tripp says

    January 20, 2021 at 8:00 pm

    My wife and watched the inauguration smiling ear to ear! I know words are cheap, but I think President Biden will try to live up to his promises.
    I thought it was sad to see all those flags instead of people in the stands. Hopefully things will get better in 2021.

    Reply
  4. Cheryl says

    January 20, 2021 at 8:09 pm

    A truly Great day!

    Reply
  5. Ned says

    January 20, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    Wow, put down the kook-aid and step away from the pitcher.

    Reply
  6. josie seamon says

    January 20, 2021 at 8:48 pm

    Gawd, this has been so long overdue! Today was the eternal rainbow after the storm. The peak following the valley!
    Let us all begin anew on a positive. A morning of gratitude with that coffee.
    May the race for peace, cooperation, dignity, self-worth, acceptance….continue.
    God bless America. God bless this Earth. God bless mankind.

    Reply
  7. Matthew says

    January 20, 2021 at 9:12 pm

    A great day!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQetemT1sWc

    Reply
  8. Matthew says

    January 20, 2021 at 9:49 pm

    All of a sudden:
    No more silly crispy fake orange hair-doo

    Reply
  9. bookieb says

    January 20, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    Happy days are here again. The sky is blue again…….

    Thank you God.

    Reply
  10. jbcsfl says

    January 21, 2021 at 5:30 am

    REJOICE!
    A new beginning and the return of decency and respect.

    Reply
  11. Jims says

    January 21, 2021 at 12:38 pm

    But his followers still believe the election was stolen. Amazing.

    Reply
  12. Matthew says

    January 21, 2021 at 3:25 pm

    Here is a thought: I am not sure I like the fact that both Trump and Schneider are being prosecuted AFTER they have left office. It might be okay, but, as I said, I am not sure.

    It brings to mind African and South American dictatorships. Every time a new dictator takes over an African country, he immediately indicts and arrests the former dictator on charges of treason or rebellion or some such. Do we want to do that in the USA?

    Even though Trump is guilty as the dickens, would it be better just to let him fade into Florida? Rather than continuing after him? What if we still are doing this five years from now? Not good.

    Reply
  13. R. A. V. says

    January 21, 2021 at 4:31 pm

    The timing of the Trump impeachment is unfortunate however, what he did was TREASON! He or anyone else no matter what the timing might be, should be tried & (hopefully) prosecuted to the furthest extent of the law! This bat-s— crazy SOB virtually trashed Americas’ Capitol! To impeach & convict would prevent him from ever running or, holding office again.
    What a sweet, sweet thought!!

    Reply
  14. Glenn Tripp says

    January 21, 2021 at 4:48 pm

    I think we should press charges against Trump for only the most heinous crimes, all others should be ignored. By heinous crimes I mean betraying the U.S.A. or murder.
    I agree with Andrew that harassing outgoing politicians smacks of dictatorship retaliation.

    Reply
  15. Brenda B says

    January 22, 2021 at 1:37 pm

    Matthew…. When treason had been committed, we need to deal with it! My feeling is to Lock him Up. You need to remember five people died as a result! And YOU don’t want Trumpet to be held accountable!!??? OMG!! What ever happened to EVERYONE is bound by the laws of America?

    Reply
  16. Brenda B says

    January 22, 2021 at 1:39 pm

    I meant “has been committed” …. sorry for the typo!

    Reply
  17. Matthew says

    January 22, 2021 at 4:46 pm

    Okay, you guys… I will go with your judgement on Trump. He is guilty as can be. We all saw and heard him telling people to fight. Let’s see how this trial pans out. I am not convinced we can get 17 Republican senators to vote against him, but even Mitch McConnell sounds as if he might vote for conviction.

    If this does not work in the Senate, can any other prosecutor charge him? US Attorney in DC? DC Prosecutor? Would that be Double Jeopardy if the Senate does not convict? Lord knows. We will see.

    Reply
  18. Matthew says

    January 23, 2021 at 11:35 pm

    The Detroit Lions just announced that they will trade Quarterback Matthew Stafford away. M. Stafford is the Lions’ best player; he is one of the Lions’ best players of all time. He is one of the best quarterbacks of our era. We have been lucky to have him in Detroit for the past several years.

    In 1920, the Boston Red Sox sent their Pitcher/Hitter Babe Ruth to the NY Yankees. Their best player, who turned out to be the best player ever. What the heck are the Lions doing now?

    Reply
  19. Matthew says

    February 22, 2021 at 11:52 pm

    That damn Trump tried to destroy the US Post Office. He did it just to try to counter mail-in ballots. And, he had some results:

    Today, Feb. 22, my brother received my Christmas card. We live in the same state, less than 200 miles apart (Grand Rapids to Ann Arbor). The card had a Dec. 14 postmark. Two and a half months for a Christmas card!

    I blame Trump and his creepy Postmaster General. Let us support the US Postal Service.

    Reply

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Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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