People who know me know my lifelong obsession with Jarts. If you’re younger than 40, you probably have no idea what those are.
They were – and are – the world’s best lawn game, consisting of two plastic rings placed 20 or so paces apart into which you lob Jarts, which are winged darts with a metal spear of death on the end.
That spear is why they’re not made anymore, of course. Back in 1987, a little girl was killed by one thrown by a neighbor kid who was horsing around. The Consumer Product Safety Commission soon banned them. I’ve missed them at tailgate parties and backyard BBQs ever since. (Bags and Kan Jam are sad, inadequate substitutes.)
Were they dangerous? Oh, heck yeah. The lawn dart wiki says 6,100 people ended up in the ER because of Jarts in the eight years preceding the ban, making them the lawn game equivalent of Donald Trump’s tweeting thumb.
But should they have been banned?
Well, yeah, of course. Stupid, dangerous things, no matter how much fun, should be banned for the greater good. (Twinkies and “The Bachelor” have somehow escaped thus far.)
That’s called “civilization.”
The problem with civilizations, though, is that they’re run by human beings, and human beings are terribly inconsistent creatures.
A great example is Gov. Whitmer. After six vaping deaths nationally, she announced a ban on the sale of flavored nicotine vaping products in the state.
Warranted? You bet, if for no other reason than vaping is (sorry) stupid in the extreme. Plus, isn’t it just common sense that inhaling watermelon-flavored nicotine water will wreck your lungs?
Of course it is. Which is why vaping is going the way of my beloved Jarts.
Good for the governor for taking a stand. Also, good for her for sticking to her guns in the face of limp criticism from vape store owners who are moaning about how unfair it is that they might not beat the state’s deadline to sell all of their noxious crap. (Picture a bomb-maker, suddenly banned, saying “Hey, wait … let me have a half off sale at least!”)
But someone please explain to me why we can ban Jarts (1 death) and flavored vape products (6 deaths) and continue to do nothing about guns.
Yes, this is a gun control column. Deal with it. Thirty six thousand Americans lose their life to them every year, an average of 100 per day, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
And yet we do nothing. And have done nothing for years, despite polls saying most of us want common sense changes to our gun laws.
At the very least, you would think we would do something about assault weapons like the AR-15, which has become the weapon of choice for mass murder copycats from coast to coast for obvious reasons: it can fire an incredible number of rounds in a short amount of time. For instance, the shooter in the Tree of Life synagogue slaughter fired an estimated 450 rounds, killing 26. “Ninety percent of the people in there were unrecognizable,” a first responder said. “You know the blood everywhere, I mean it just covered them from head to toe. They were shot in so many different places that you just couldn’t make out who they were.”
Jarts? Dangerous! Vaping? A menace to society! War weapons that mow people down like so much wheat? Meh.
We are strange, strange people.
Thoughts and prayers to you all. And to me. I think we’re going to need ’em.
Image credit: “Death by Jart” by starfire
I’m just gonna share…..
History lesson. The battles of Lexington and Concord were caused by the British marching to those two towns to confiscate the powder, shot and cannons that the Americans had in their armories in those two towns. The British army(redcoats) was ordered to march on those 2 towns to enforce a gun ban.
From reading your comments over the past few years, one can only come the conclusion that if you and the other gun grabbers lived back then, you would be rooting and cheering for the British Crown.
You would probably tell the British where the American army was and what General George Washington was doing and where he was going.
Interesting Jim.
So you have to actually invent fantastical circumstances by which you can contest Andy’s position?
I think this is one of the most definitive demonstrations of a Straw Man Argument that I’ve ever seen.
Thank you, your post will no doubt prove most useful to those that wish to provide an example when trying to explain the concept of this rudimentary debate tactic.
Still have a set of Jarts. I hid them from the British when they marched down my street confiscating them. I won’t say where I live because you’ll tell them. I also hid my horseshoes because I am sure the British would want them for their horses!
Greased palms are one of the barriers to any form of gun control.
There seems to be an abundance of them in government.
Gun Worship
The Religion that requires the sacrifice of other people’s children.
I have and my children have the right to not be shot up by some crazed gun toting loon shooting a semi-automatic rifle.
I don’t give a damn about your supposed god-given right to own an Arsenal.
I have the right, as do my children, to not be shot to bits by some gun toting loon shooting at innocent people with a semi-automatic rifle.
But that isn’t as important as having the god-given right to own an arsenal.
How ridiculous.
I totally agree with you, Andy. Sure I also like my guns but don’t see the need to carry one like some morons I know. Some folks cannot go out to dinner in Fenton without their guns being worn! Yes, why on earth do these weapon owners NEED to have the AR-15?? Frankly I would be
happy if the government would outlaw magazines that hold more than six bullets. I believe that would be a good start to sensible gun legislation. Why does anyone need a magazine that holds 32 or even 64 bullets??
I feel change is coming. I trust ” most” people are ” good” Dems or Reps. So many of us dont fit in the power mongers red or blue boxes. And we are voting! So there will be positive change ! Just not soon enough for me. TRump stresses me out!
Great column, I could not agree more.
Back to one of your summer columns about the Tigers. How ’bout we fans “Call Sam” and sue the Tigers for fraud? Tiger are selling tickets to fans who expect to see a major league team play, but they are fielding minor league players. That’s fraud, I say! Call Sam!
I’m totally down for a class action suit.
liberals cannot think things through completely sometimes.
I seen a picture of an anti-gun liberal women that had this written on it:
I DREAM WOMEN WILL ONE DAY HAVE THE SAME IGHTS AS GUNS.
this is the rebuttal from someone about the sign:
So just to be clear:
1. She wants to be locked up when not in use.
2. She wants to be banned from airplanes.
3. She wants to be banned from public schools.
4. She wants to be kept out of government buildings.
5. Felons cannot be around women.
6. businesses can post “no women allowed” signs.
7. She want to be banned completely in New York, Chicago, and D.C.
8. She wants women to be severely restricted in Hawaii and California.
9. Women would not be allowed anywhere alcohol is consumed.
10. Carrying a woman would require a special permit.
11. Woman cannot be carried openly.
12. Women will be prohibited from having certain popular cosmetic properties.
13. A man can have own multiple women, but only after a background check.
I, along with a few others, have noticed that all the rich gun grabbing/banning liberals
would always have armed to the teeth guards around them. That those armed guards would
be exempt from having to give up their weapons with 30 round magazines and so forth.
The guards would not have to give up their scary assault weapons.
Ah, a Facebook post someone did back in 2017.
Yes, yes, the person you’re copying was very clever jim.
urther, it’s merely another straw man argument in which you produce a ridiculous circumstance and then proceed to argue against it.
Between this and your copy and paste skills, I and others here, no doubt stand in awe of your intellect.
Sigh, Further, that is.
Apologies, dang phone isn’t cut out for long form proofreading.
Well he does live in an alternative reality with alternative facts.
(Hey Andrew, will you be writing anything this week? There is so much going on that needs your perspective.)
Following the advice of Yoda we are. “There is no try, only do or do not”. And our government has chosen the later. Something needs to be done, all can agree if they get past their meme information, history out of context and look at the current situation. Let’s get real.