If I were to write the headline for this column, it would be “That stupid, stupid school bus.”
Eighteen years ago, Sam, our oldest, stepped onto one for the first time. I remember getting misty about it because I’m a great, big, giant sap about that sort of thing. I wrote a column at the time talking about how this was it, the first step toward him leaving for good instead of just for his first half-day of kindergarten.
I get a little dramatic at times.
But I wasn’t wrong. It was indeed the beginning of the end of him as a daily, huggable part of our lives. We wouldn’t have it any other way, naturally. Birds gotta fly. We raised him to soar.
But it still smarts.
Sam is 22 now and a second year law student at Vanderbilt down in Nashville. He’s doing great. He just won a scholarship for second years – that’s what they call them, second years. He just finished a summer internship with a federal judge, which blows my mind. My kid? Helping a judge? The same kid who chugs orange juice straight from the container and whose college bathroom was legally declared a Superfund site? Yeah, that kid. The past few weeks he’s interviewing with big law firms for where he’s going to be next summer. He’s hoping for Seattle or Washington, D.C., and I tell him I hope he gets the one he wants most.
But secretly I think – as every parent always has – “But that’s a long way from us.”
And it all started with that damn school bus. That stupid, stupid school bus.
Annie was next. She stepped onto the bus for the first time 15 years ago. And now she, too, is grown up and living her life in galaxies far, far away from us.
It goes without saying that she, too, is the smartest, most beautiful person ever placed on this earth. She’s starting her third year at CMU, my alma mater. We just helped her set up her first-ever apartment after two years in the dorm.
She’s thrilled. But for a dad who viewed the dorm as somehow safer, it was a difficult thing. While Annie and her mom unpacked boxes, I walked around doing a dad security check on all the doors and windows, and grumbling mightily about the lack of a front porch light and how, by god, I was going to install wireless security cameras. Her response: an eye roll.
I love her eye rolls. I’ll miss her eye rolls, which she’d fling my way 5-10 times a day throughout her teen years. (She’s down to just one or two a day now.) Now I’ll have to settle for her eye rolls when we chat on FaceTime or Skype, which isn’t quite the same.
And it all started with that stupid, stupid school bus.
We’re down to one last child at home now. Henry, my god, he’s simply the best. Smart as a whip, a top athlete, and he has the kind of dry wit and wicked grin that make people instantly love him. In two weeks he starts his last year in the public schools. No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks. Until college starts. Him, I don’t worry about for a second. He’ll thrive in college. He’ll thrive in life beyond college. He’s just that sort of guy. The world will just open up for him.
Us? Well, the empty nest is on the horizon. I know some parents can’t wait for the last kid to go. We are not those parents. Both of us, in fact, are already suffering from Early Onset Empty Nest Syndrome (EOENS), a malady we just made up. It hurts.
Stupid buses.
Brought a tear to my eye, Andy.
Congrats to you and Marcia Sam………. a job well done, you have earned your upcoming empty nest.
I thought I would have been a big, sappy mess when my son moved out, since he’s my only child, but it wasn’t bad! Even before that moving truck left the driveway, I was picking out paint colors & measuring to see if my desk would fit in his old room! Since he was hardly home after he graduated high school, I think that prepared me a little bit for when he moved out for good. I do miss having him around once in a while, but he’s only a phone call & about a 20 minute drive away!
Hey andi, in your alternate universe EOENS stands for EVIL ONSET EMPTY NOGGIN SOCIALISM.
It’s been said the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and truly the last thing Seattle needs is another social justice warrior, especially one from law school. Tell your kid to take his white, suburban guilt to D.C.
The turd in the punchbowl.
So tell us about the wonderful accomplishments your kids have achieved. You can leave out the part about marching in white robes and a hood, that is too easy.
The Trumpflakes get pissed if Andy gets political and then they make it political when he doesn’t.
Ha! I agree with Rick. Turd.
Oh my, does anyone have some bubble wrap? I’m afraid Brad is far too fragile for reality.
Nice column, Andy, and it sure sounds like you and your wonderful wife have done a magnificent job with the offspring!
I remember when mine left. It was different for sure. Two son in laws later and four grand kids all at once in the house I cherish the alone time. HaHa. You will too.
Great column Andy. The empty nest isn’t so bad. You’ll learn to love it .
Andy, I agree with you concerning that wretched school bus. I vividly remember when my son caught the bus for the first time. I walked him to the road and watched him climb the steps and disappear in to the bowels of that monster. Tears came quickly to my eyes and the image of the blue stripped pants he was wearing was forever engrained in my mind. It was the first of the many rites of passage that happen in all of our lives. God has blessed you and Marcia in so many ways. I pray that it will always be that way.
I bemoaned the empty nest for all of 24 hours and then began enjoying the next phase in life – bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, grandchildren, more grandchildren, travel, retirement, and reflecting on the many blessings in life. I’m sure you will too. Enjoy the journey!
I’m with you, dude! (As I’ve said, I think we’re brothers from different mothers…) Younger daughter has been around most of this summer, painting and prepping furniture for her newly found apartment up in Oscoda where she now teaches.
Therefore we’ll have to again suffer Empty Nest Syndrome when she takes off tomorrow.
Ah, well – we’re glad for the time we were able to spend together…
-Keith
And before you can even think about it they are over fifty and some of your grand kids are out of college and in the world. Wouldn’t be so bad if one family wasn’t just outside of NYC and the other is just a short walk from “the Improv” on Melrose. Not just a short drive from the Middle of the Mitten. That makes it very difficult to make it to those early school functions. Still it is better than our fore-bearers had it. Skype at least lets us see live faces.
Great blog, as always, Andy. Disregard the idiot comment from some jealous parent! You and your wife seem to have raised awesome kids with something to add to society. We have one beautiful daughter who moved out the 2nd year of college. Very hard for a month but then we adjusted to seeing her so excited and involved at EMU. You will understand. Then she married and for 12 years lived in Boston giving us an awesome place to visit! Two grandkids were born there and it thrilled us beyond words when they all moved back to Michigan 8yrs ago and are now part of the A2 scene. Long distance was tough back then and now only 50 minutes away!! And we have THE smartest 2 grandkids ever!! LOL!
Another great column, and well- done, Papa!
Andy, I know of more than one set of parents who had a party when their last child left the nest. They actually planned for their children to move out so thqat they could have some alone time.
Did they ever miss that their children were not in their house any more? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Like Jean and Tina said in an earlier posts it lasted about 24 hours, then it was on to measuring and remodeling to a new floor plan, carpeting painting along with some other changes. It now means Andrew that if something gets broken in the house of your wife’s, you will be able to put the blame on the children.
OOPs I forgot you still have one at home. I wonder what kind of article you will write about when Henry finally leaves home.
P.S. make sure you leave a room free for when your children start having children, you will need a room for when your wife want to babysit the grandchildren once in a while.
One of the nicer things about grand-children is that you can hand them back to their parents when you need to.
Only fun thing I can contribute is a story about when my friends all started getting kids. My friend Cal and I, pitcher and third-baseman, the only two guys left on our softball team who did NOT have kids… Cal and I sat up late at the bar, after all the fathers and mothers on the team had left, after a game…
Cal and I agreed that our friends all should just train their kids the way Cal and I trained dogs. What the heck, we said back then, what the heck is all this moaning and complaining about the kids’ behavior? It all seemed very obvious to us bachelors, back then.
Later, Cal and I learned that kids have their own ?God-given? personalities, and a lot of parenting does not necessarily equal a lot of influence on kids.
So, I say to you, Andrew, please be extremely proud of your great smart kids, but give the kids most of the credit. Just be happy they are such champions, on their own. Please do not try to take too much of the credit for yourself. You know darn well, already. I do not even have to remind you. Cheers to you and Marcia and all your kids!
Great column.! I still suffer 20+ yrs later. Those were indeed, the best years of our lives! But grandkids are great and life goes on….
I sent a very thoughtful, kind, and complimentary post on Aug 21.
Don’t understand why it wasn’t posted
So… again… you will understand that the trauma of empty nest is only temporary as you will begin to enjoy and love this new segment of their lives, when they actually want to sit and have a conversation with you.. Then after the weekend home and leaving to head back to college and/or their own place, they will ask to take a couple items from the pantry and you see them loading up a cardboard box because ” things always taste better from YOUR pantry, Dad/Mom”.
We were thankful to be able to help her at EMUbin way we can. Now she is am awesome Occupational Therapist, it’s been 21 years and we also have a terrific son-in-law and a 15yr old grandson plus a 13yr old granddaughter. Now, Andy, those 2 kids are truly THE smartest kids in Ann Arbor!!!
Hi, Brenda. When you sign up I think you have to say it’s ok for posts to go straight to the site. I’ll check into it, though. Sorry for any inconvenience.
Always love your articles when you update the happenings of your children! My year with Sam was one of my best! Sorry I had to miss his siblings.