Like so many, I have read the stories and watched the videos of the 4-year old boy who fell into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo.
I watched and wondered if the gorilla, named Harambe, was trying to protect the boy or hurt him as he was dragged through the water.
And like many, I was truly saddened that the zoo had to kill the gorilla.
Now the question seems to be who to blame?
The mother of the boy? The zoo?
Deidre Lykins, a witness who was there when it happened, wrote what she saw and heard in a Facebook post. She wrote that the mother was calling for her son. The mother said the boy had his hand in her pocket while she snapped a picture. but he let go and wandered off.
I don’t know if she’s a good mother or not. I do know that I’m incredibly lucky to have never been in such a situation myself.
When my twin sons were 4-years old, it was a constant battle to keep track of them. And I was a crazy, hovering, “hold-my-hands-at-every-moment” mom. But kids move fast.
I confess that when the twins were 2-years old, I used leashes. It was great, they couldn’t get away from me. But I got a lot of dirty looks from passersby and eventually put the leashes away. I wonder if the people so quick to judge could ever imagine themselves in such a situation or, is it possible, that all these judgmental comments come from perfect parents?
I read one comment by a father who said if he were in that situation, he would have jumped right over the fence and into the water going after his child.
The words rang true in my head. Me too, I thought. I’d do anything to keep my children safe. But what do you do with the other child in your arms or the third one hanging on your leg? Shove them at someone nearby and say “Here, hold these kids for me, I gotta go in after that one.”
What would the public say then?
And how many mothers at the zoo that day, went home and said a prayer of thanks, grateful that such a thing didn’t happen to them.
The next question is how much is the zoo responsible for what happened? Was the gorilla enclosure safe enough? I wonder how many children have visited that zoo and didn’t get into the enclosure? Was it only because good parents visited the zoo until now?
And what about the decision to kill the gorilla.
I don’t know the temperament of any gorillas, let alone Harambe.
Watching the video, I could see how easy it was to interpret the gorilla’s movements as protective of the child. I could also see how easily such an incredibly strong animal could crush that child.
In one of the zillions of stories reporting on the situation, a zookeeper said he’d seen Harambe crush a coconut with one hand. I can’t imagine how panicked he would be watching that gorilla with that small boy.
Those zookeepers must have been scared to death that was going to happen. They chose the boy over the gorilla.
Some said they should have erred on the side of the gorilla and only anesthetized him, rather than kill him. But how many of those folks sharing that thought knew anything about anesthetizing gorillas? I certainly don’t.
It’s a horrible, terrible situation but it’s made worse by the hateful, judgmental comments that appear on every story and on social media.
It’s so easy to judge. So easy to be certain such a tragedy would never happen to us. So simple to say we would know what to do in just such a situation.
But other than Harambe, everybody involved in this situation is human. And humans make mistakes.
I’m glad the boy is safe, I feel bad for the zookeepers who had to choose to euthanize an animal they cared so very much for and I am sure the zoo is carefully considering changes to make the area safer. I don’t know who is going to held accountable or if anybody should. I just can’t help thinking “there but for the grace of God go I.”
Bravo. Well said. Our society is so quick to place blame. Someone had to be to blame for everything that happens. There Arno allowances for the fact that we are humans.
Nobody made it through the enclosure in the previous 30+ years by the way. So it had yo be reasonably safe…
I am willing to bet they will be changing something at that enclosure. If only to make the point that they are paying attention – but 30+ years without an incident is nothing to be sneezed at.
Exactly all of my thoughts, too.
I’m just happy to know that we aren’t all interested in throwing stones at glass houses.
Thank you for expressing your compassionate feelings for all sides involved. Out of the many writings or editorials about this sad case, yours is the best one I have read.
The poor little boy doesn’t know it yet, but as he grows up, this tag will follow him for a long time.
ohmystars, you’re so right. I had not yet given that thought. Ten years from now we’ll hear about the boy who fell into the gorilla enclosure.
Well said, Brenda. Children are so very quick. I think the zoo did what was prudent at the time.
Prudent describes it perfectly.
I am delighted to see you wrote, “passersby,” rather than, “passerbys.” No opinions on the mom or the gorilla. Feel sorry for both. The kid, if he remembers it, probably will think it was pretty cool. Freshman year in college, he probably will tell his new friends about what happened in 2016, and half of them will not believe him.
I think he’ll remember – if not true memory, likely from all of the media. And knowing how much media loves an anniversary story, I’m betting we’ll revisit the whole thing in 10 years.
Finally, a rational response to this story. Well done, ma’am.
Thank you.
Your comments were the most thoughtful and sanest that I have read so far.
As a little aside: I too, used leashes on my helter skelter active little twins and received the same looks and comments — but, by gosh, they were SAFE!
Ah, those looks. I remember them well.
I disagree, the parents were at fault for several reasons. There is a fence therefore an established boundary which the child didn’t respect. Inadequate supervision, I understand the child was only four years old, but that’s all the more reason the mother should have known her boy didn’t respect boundaries like you don’t cross the street, you don’t cross a fence etc.
My understanding is that there was a single parent with the children. I agree that children should be taught to respect boundaries. You are absolutely right. But sometimes they don’t. I remember once telling my son (probably age three at the time) not to touch the hot, barbecued ribs that I just put on the table. I turned to get the pitcher of water and he reached out and touched the ribs. Nice burn on his finger and no dinner as a result. We tease him about it to this day.
Sometimes kids push the boundaries, even when you work hard to establish respect for rules.
I get it since I have pushed boundaries for well over 50 years. I’m not sure how you make that call but it’s up to the parent. I have no children but I have enough experience with kids to know, it’s a judgement call on when to let them off the leash and obviously the kid needed a tighter reign.
rein