Donald Trump should have to meet with the 700,000 children and adults who face deportation when the DACA program ends and explain why he canceled it, but only after a dose of truth serum. I think it would go like this:
Immigrants: “Mr. President, why are you kicking us out of the country? We love America.”
Trump: “I’m not kicking you out.”
Immigrants: “You aren’t? That’s wonderful!”
Trump: “I’m just ending the program that lets you stay.”
Immigrants: “So you’re kicking us out.”
Trump: “No, I’m not.”
Immigrants: “But you just said …”
Trump: “I said I won’t kick you out, and I won’t. But Immigration Services will. That’s a little thing I like to call ‘semantics.’ Pretty neat, huh? I learned it from Bill Clinton.”
Immigrants: “But either way, we’re out, right?”
Trump: “Not necessarily. Congress could still pass a law letting you stay.”
Immigrants: “And what are the chances of that?”
Trump: “Less than zero. Possibly even lower. But look on the bright side.”
Immigrants: “Which is?”
Trump: “You’ll get a free plane ride home. Or a bus ticket. Or we’ll just have someone with a machine gun drop you at the border and say, ‘Go that way.’ We’re not sure yet. The details are kinda fuzzy.”
Immigrants: “Why do you want us gone so bad?”
Trump: “Well, for one, you’re the wrong color.”
Immigrants: “And what’s the right color?”
Trump: “Let’s just put it this way: We’re not going to be kicking out too many Canadians who snuck over the border. In fact, since I took office, we’ve sort of had the opposite problem.”
Immigrants: “Is our skin color the only reason?”
Trump: “Don’t be ridiculous. There’s also the fact that you’re all rapists, even the women and children, and possibly their pets.”
Immigrants: “That’s outrageous!”
Trump: “I know. That’s why we’re kicking you out.”
Immigrants: “Who told you that?”
Trump: “It was either Steve Bannon or that little voice in the back of my head. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.”
Immigrants: “But we’re not all rapists. The vast majority of us aren’t even criminals. There are all sorts of studies that say legal and illegal immigrants are, in fact, more law-abiding than native-born Americans, with lower crime and incarceration rates.”
Trump: “Well, then, it’s because you’re taking all our jobs and real Americans are starving because of it.”
Immigrants: “But that’s not true either. The unemployment rate is 4.3 percent. That’s basically full employment. Meaning everyone who wants a job can get a job. It’s true. We looked it up.”
Trump: “Well, then it’s gotta be Barack Obama’s fault. Everything is, you know, including the designated hitter rule and the heartbreak of psoriasis.”
Immigrants: “But President Obama created the Dreamers program.”
Trump: “Exactly, and I hate him. So there’s another reason. By the way, he was born in Kenya, you know.”
Immigrants: “No, he wasn’t. He was born in Hawaii.”
Trump: “Well, that’s a foreign country, too, so same diff.”
Immigrants: “You’re wrong. Hawaii is a state.”
Trump: “Of where?”
Immigrants: “Here!”
Trump: “Ha, good one. I suppose next you’re going to tell me Alaska’s a state, too.”
Immigrants: “It is a state!”
Trump: “Did they vote for me?”
Immigrants: “Yes.”
Trump: “Good, then they can stay. But the rest of you have to go.”
Immigrants: “But why. We’ve done nothing wrong.”
Trump: “Not true. You’ve done plenty wrong.”
Immigrants: “Like what?”
Trump: “Fine, since I seem to have no choice because of the truth serum, here’s the ultimate reason you can’t stay: because the people who voted for me don’t like you.”
Immigrants: “But why?”
Trump: “Because they need someone to blame for the erosion of the American dream and you’re an easy target. And because the prospect of America becoming a non-white majority nation scares the bejeezus out of them.”
Immigrants: “But America is supposed to be a melting pot. And what about the Statue of Liberty poem: ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’ Surely that must mean something.”
Trump: “I’m glad you reminded me of that.”
Immigrants: “Does that mean you will reconsider?”
Trump: “No, it means I gotta remember to have that changed so it reads ‘Give me your huddled masses with master’s and doctorate degrees.’”
Image credit: DonkeyHotey
trump is out to eradicate anything that has Obama’s fingerprints on it.
trump dislikes everyone but himself and his family.
trump is starting to cleanse the earth of everyone else, he is deplorable.
trump reminds me of hitler and his vile regime.
No one ever tells the truth about these DACA people. Certainly not ALL of the 700,000 “children” are doing well in college and working to pay their own tuition. Not ALL of them are working at good jobs and paying taxes. What no one is telling is how many are on food stamps and/or getting other government assistance, which would give the true picture of how much they as a group are contributing to society and how many are living off the benefits of our government programs.
Get real!
And all white people and all legal citizens are???? You should be the one to get real.
I am being real. The reality is that we have to have law and order in this country, and allowing any unknown number of people to come across our borders illegally, and then expect the same benefits as American citizens who did it the lawful way is just wrong.
Liberals cannot face the truth of that and then have to resort to calling conservatives names.
Not sure where anyone called you a name. I thought conservatives didn’t like paying any kind of your so called benifits to anyone. Pull up your boot straps and make your own way right? You should do some research and see what some of these people have accomplished. Don’t just listen to Fox News. Conservatives need to think for themselves once in a while and don’t follow the Donald off a cliff.
Do tell. According to immigration web info they are not eligible for federal assistance or food stamps. Get a SS # and now can pay into SS and pay taxes.
Ann before making wide judgement calls, might consider checking stats. They are not eligible for any assistance including unemployment. Per numerous news outlets.
Also…..fyi…. back in 1996, my last Social Work class gave us interesting data from the most recent census since many people all assume people of color are the Welfare recipients. At that time, white Americans made up the majority of folks on Welfare and Food Stamps in Michigan. They also make up the majority of Disability Medicare!! Fact checking will benefit your knowledge base, Ann.
I never implied or said that only people of color are on welfare. You are putting words in my mouth. I am well aware of the stats. I just don’t think that we should have an open country for anyone to come in and have all the privileges the easy way, when for the many years of our history people entered the right way.
You are trying to change the intent and meaning of the issue.
Andrew, What a bunch of lies being spread by you and other liberals on the left. The former president issued an executive order that has no real force of law and the former president even stated so. I will give the former president credit for one thing, he did not issue the illegal EO until after the democrats in congress did not enact a law covering the DACA persons. The democrats had a clear majority in congress, they could have passed a DACA law without republican interferance or objections.
The democrats did nothing. President obama did not really want to issue an executive order, because he even admitted that it would stand up to a court challenge. President obama put a limit of 5 years on the order in order to give congress a chance to pass a legal law to cover DACA. In 5 years congress did nothing. President Trump ended DACA and threw the ball back into congress’s lap to fix the problem. Will congress do anything? I would have to say no. For most part congress today is made of a bunch a weasels that are only interested protecting their futures and reelection chances. Both parties, democrats and republicans, will not do anything to enact a law to send to President Trump to sign. Remember the democrats had nearly 5 years to enact a legal DACA legislation and they did nothing. This is only a chance to smear President rump as some sort of racist and hater of people. I do not think you or the other liberal posters on this site would be able to stand the truth. I do have references to President obama’s comments.
President rump! I love it. Typo? Or truth?
Illegal aliens can “dream” in their own country of legal residence. We don’t need illegal aliens swarming into the USA to help bolster Democrats with illegal votes. I will not compromise with any illegal alien lover.
Deport them all…. No excuses
We need to measure the success of our deportation efforts with the tears, hatred and rage of illegal alien lovers. The more they lose their minds, the better.
How very humane of you.
At least we would have a mind to loose cause you sure don’t.
You mean the brown ones, right?
Working Dad must have a heart of stone. I’m feeling more sympathy for his children who must live with such hatred 24/7.
Ever notice how void of compassion right wingers are?
What about the dreamers who are defending America while serving in our armed forces right now? Screw them too, just like with the transgenders?
Those “dreamers” who are serving in the armed forces under honorable conditions, if I remember correctly, were promised citizenship upon completion of their service. That promise needs to be
kept. The only screaming about the dreamers being denied citizenship are democrats. The democrats have had since sometime around 2011 to address the issue. They did nothing. Like I said in an earlier post President obama sent the proposal to congress and the democrats did nothing to enact a law using the DACA guidelines. The republicans at that time frame could not do anything to stop the democrats in passing such a law and sending it to President obama to sign it. President obama stated that the EO was meant to last 5 years then it was to be reviewed again. President trump did nothing more than follow President obama’s EO. President Trump sent the request back to congress to enact legislation to create/enact a law. I have my doubts that congress will not do anything. It will may very well be that President Trump could/maybe extend obama’s EO or he could do nothing and let it die.
To Fre4d, right wingers are the ones helping their neighbors in the areas hit by the hurricanes. I have not seen the likes of liberals like al gore, decaprio, pelosi, waters and a whole lot of liberals sending any aid to hurricane relief. It is the right wingers that help start a lot of hospitals over the years.
A lot of liberal celebrities and politicians are there helping personally and donating and raising money, because they care. Just because you didn’t here about it on Fox News….,
Betcha nobody’s checking voting, party preference or citizenship papers when someone shows up to rescue or help. And as far as hospitals..I know a few Catholic nuns who might like to school folks on history going back to the Middle Ages. That was one of their missions.
Left or right doesn’t matter in the midst of tragedy.
The trolls have taken over my favorite blog site. Gracious! You guys, please read and understand what Andrew wrote originally, and ignore these three troll twits.
“Most ignorance is vincible ignorance. We don’t know because we don’t want to know.”
—- Aldous Huxley
Our fellow commenter Working Dad’s children all are “Dreamers,” subject to DACA. Working Dad himself decided to bring them from his home country of Meanerthanhellia, to the United States, when they were infants.
They themselves had nothing to do with the decision. They were babies, for cryin’ out loud. His kids, at least some of them, seem to have turned out okay. But now, they might be subject to deportation, due to their dad’s decisions and actions, years ago.
Our pal Working Dad is working hard to save his kids. He has applied for citizenship in the Human Race, in order to keep his children here in the USA.
“The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence.”
—- Aldous Huxley
Again Fred, Jim says, Native of Michigan, Tom says, and the other liberal writers on this site cannot come up with facts to refute republican sounding writers. Their only response it to smear and call us nasty names. As I posted in earlier posts President obama did state that he did not have the Constitutional authority to create the DACA program. He only did so after the democrats did not act on his proposals that he sent to them, I think about 3 times. He set the program up to last about 5 years. The democrats still did not do anything.
In this section I am quoting from some other site on what they reported. It is called the Patriot Post, printed after President Trump announced plans to end DACA. “That brings us top the latest leftist outrage du jour. President Trump decision to end DACA, clarifying the process and time line,
Attorney general Jeff Sessions declared Tuesday that no new DACA applications will be considered after September 5th, but anyone with a DACA permit expiring between now and March 5, 2018, can apply for a 2 year renewal. The program will also be extended to March 2018 giving congress 6 months to craft legislative solution, which is the constitutional appropriate way.”
will congress pass/enact a law that meets the constitutional way? I do not think so. The democrats could not do in the 5 years or so that they had control of congress.
Of course this side of the story does not meet the criteria that Andrew wrote, so I have serious doubts that they can offer a true sensible rebuttal to write I have printed and quoted. They will just go on calling us trolls and other nasty names.
Like all the things Rebublicans have accomplished since trump took over. Not a thing. They have the control and still have accomplished nothing. You are right they won’t pass or enact a law that is constitutional.
Oh. Is your favorite Alt. Right website posting facts now? That’s nice Jim III.
Fred and Jim says, your level of comprehension seems to be on the rather low side of life. As I said in earlier posts the democrats had complete control of congress starting in 2009 through 2014 or so.
President obama sent the original dream to the the “democratic” controlled congress 3 times and the “democratic” controlled congress did not enact/pass a “dream act”. You cannot blame this one on the republicans. Will the republican congress do nothing also? I am not sure. But one thing that I am sure of is that the democrats will lie, misconstrue and otherwise obstruct any efforts by the republicans to pass/enact a “dream act”. It can be the same exact act that President obama had originally sent to the democratic controlled congress in 2011 and they will scream that the law is totally racist and all sorts of nasty stuff.
The republicans have been in charge for about 10 months now. The only thing that the democrats have done is run to the lame stream media and scream how heartless the republicans are. I also go to alt left websites and read some of the articles that are posted there. Some of the things posted on alt left sites are worrisome. Not that Fred, Jim says and Andrew Heller can/will or will be able to comprehend what is being written there on the alt left sites.
If those who write articles on the alt left sites, Andrew Heller would quickly be silenced by those on the alt left sites. They hate white people.
Jim III, your level of facts are on the rather low side of life, along with your sentence structure. Democrats had the majority in the House during Obama’s first term until the 2011 midterms and held 57 seats in the Senate, Al Franken was not seated due to a voter recount that lasted until July 2009 and the other two seats to make the 60 vote filibuster breaker were held by Independents, not Democrats. The House cannot pass laws by themselves, the Senate has to vote on it too. Democrats lost more Senate seats in the 2011 midterms also.
Your claim that Obama had complete control in Congress until 2014 is nonsense, like everything else you say. You either made it up yourself or got it from a lying Alt. Right site. You didn’t actually research anything.
This one is on your racist party again.
Actually, the Democrats only had control of Congress for two years (2009-2010) after President Obama was elected. Democrats lost control of the House in 2010 making it practically impossible for them to get anything passed by Congress since Republicans had vowed to block Obama at every turn. In 2014 the Democrats lost control of the Senate too. Since Obama’s executive order for DACA wasn’t effective until June 2012 and Republicans blocked everything President Obama wanted to accomplish since 2010, it was impossible for Democrats to do anything about DACA before Obama’s term ended.
I almost pointed that out, but I didn’t want to confuse him. They actually held the House securely until 2011, but lost more seats in the Senate in February 2010. In January 2009 they should of had 57 Democratic held Senate seats plus two Independents, which gave them 59, and you could sometimes count on a single Republican to give them filibuster steength.
Ted Kennedy collapsed on the day Obama was sworn in and never came back. Al Franken wasn’t able to take his seat until July 2009. So Democrats actually had only 55 votes in the Senate for most of 2009. In February 2010 Kennedy’s seat was taken by a Republican and there was no longer any filibuster strength. In 2011 both wings of Congress lost their Democratic majority and Republicans enacted their agenda to obstruct every Obama sponsored legislation, which forced him to exercise his executive powers, including DACA, because the Republicans wouldn’t allow a vote.
Fred, thanks for the correction.
Andy – Why are you still complaining about President Trump?
Shouldn’t you be a Canadian by now?
Another nasty name from Aldous Huxley??
“Wherever the choice has had to be made between the man of reason and the madman, the world has unhesitatingly followed the madman.”
—- Aldous Huxley
One more thing Andy Heller – The SCOTUS just sided with President Trump on the travel ban. Democrats are going to be losing their cookies over this one! You won’t be able to import unvetted nutbags from terrorism hotbed countries so they can rape and kill Americans. This goes against the Democrat ideal of “Hate America First!” and I look forward to your anger fueled, hate inspired rantings.
The USA is safer now Andy. That will make you crazy with hate!
Seek help Working Dad. SCOTUS just issued a temporary order that will allow the Trump administration to block many refugees from six mostly Muslim countries without direct familial ties in the United States from entering this country. The full matter isn’t decided yet. The hate is coming from your corner. Banning refugees is tantamount to not helping hurricane victims. I suppose you would deny help to hurricane victims if they are Muslim (or more likely if they are not white).
Thank you for the perfect example of Democrat, hate filled lies! You included a straw man argument AND made false claims of racism and religious descrimination.
Your hate is shining brightly! Keep it up!
So, what satisfaction do you get for being Andy’s Troll? You look like a fool, so it can’t be your inane comments making you feel superior. Does it give you a sense of sexual energy? I’ve heard sometimes when folks are lacking in some areas they compensate. Seriously, I’m concerned about your well being and you turn that into hatred. Sad.
Go play with your guns and pretend you are a real man. This is the grown up’s table.
Nice! – A lame, overused comment about sexual performance…. Very predictable and uncreative.
Keep it going! C’mon – You can do better than that. Show some HATE!
You hear hate in everything because that is how you feel about everything.
It’s called projection and it’s a common trait among little narcissistic man childs like you.