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The No. 1 thing you should never do on Facebook

April 3, 2016 by Andrew Heller 15 Comments

5073444I read an alarming news story posted by somebody on Facebook about a spring snowstorm that was on its way.

column photo suit“Eight inches, oh my gosh,” I thought. “I have to repost this.”

Everyone likes to share bad news.

It took about four seconds before someone wrote back, “Hey, dummy, that story is from last year.”

Damn it – fooled again. Aaargh, you people – and you know who you are – stop posting old news articles on Facebook that I assume are new and repost because, well, who the heck would post an old weather article?

Seriously, why do people do that, and how does it start? Is it Google? Do people overhear something about a storm coming and rush to Google for a confirming story only to get one from two years ago? If so, what the heck is wrong with Google? Why don’t they rank articles by date?

That must be how it begins because as horrible as some people can be I can’t see them intentionally posting an old article just to annoy or alarm people. Other than Donald Trump, I mean. Him I can see doing it just for fun. Or ISIS. Maybe that’s their way of spreading anger and disruption online. If they could cats would definitely do it just to amuse themselves. Cats are pure evil. It’s a known fact. I read that on Facebook once.

In any case, false or out of date posts are everyone’s biggest pet peeve about Facebook, even worse than people who incessantly post cute kittens photos or write things like “This is a test to find out if anyone reads my posts. Please respond with ONE word about how great I am.”

“The ones that get me are celebrity deaths – people who have been dead for years,” one Facebook friend wrote under my bogus weather post. “I saw one recently for Bob Denver.”

That’s the skinny guy who played Gilligan. He died in 2005.

Another friend wrote, “I just read Don Knotts died. I had to relive my grief for Barney Fife yet again!”

Knotts died in 2006. Can you imagine how hard it is on his relatives to see every few months that he’s died again?

Something has to be done about this but I’m not sure what.

I suppose we could institute harsh penalties, up to and including prison sentences. “What are you in for? “Murder and bank robbery.” “What about you?” “Posting an old article on Facebook.”

I could see that. But the jails are already so crowded.

Public shaming is probably our best bet. It worked with me. After my weather story gaffe, people were merciless in telling me I got it wrong and that I was posting old news.

“This just in: Columbus discovered a new world!” wrote one.

“You can add weather historian to your long list of accomplishments,” wrote another.

“Bob Denver… still dead.”

Yeah, OK, I deserved that.

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, facebook

Comments

  1. Carol Lirones-Flayer says

    April 3, 2016 at 9:03 am

    If folks followed what they learned from their English teachers and Librarians in school: cite your source, there would be much less confusion and congestion on the internet.

    The cobwebs of the interwebs are pretty good junk catchers.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 3, 2016 at 11:20 am

      Agree!

      Reply
  2. Tina Bindschatel says

    April 3, 2016 at 11:24 am

    I’ve actually been guilty of doing this myself! I’ve seen something, didn’t look at the date, shared it, and then when it was too late, that’s when I looked at the date! But to save face, you can delete it before too many people see it!

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 3, 2016 at 11:32 am

      But you have to live with the shame and guilt your whole life.

      Reply
  3. Stephenie Koehn says

    April 3, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    Don Knotts was a (very) distant cousin on my mother’s side. It is so wrong that our family has to come to grips with his death over and over and over again! People! Pay attention to what you’re posting!

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      April 3, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      He’s my all-time favorite comic actor. Brilliant man.

      Reply
      • Louise Dawson says

        April 5, 2016 at 9:12 am

        As Barney used to say, “You’ve got to nip it in the bud.”

        Reply
  4. Mary K says

    April 3, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    Most annoying is when you see a post that is so outlandish that you have to do the fact checking and reply with the facts, figures and/or dates. Then the person who did the original posting responds with “I don’t buy it!” TRUMP-eters take note.

    Reply
  5. Tim C says

    April 3, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    and yet by morning we’re forecast to get up to 6″…maybe you’re a prophet!

    Reply
  6. Linda Ann says

    April 3, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    “Prophet” sounds so much nicer than “Dummy”.

    Reply
  7. Andy Coulouris says

    April 3, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    Wait..wait…what..? Don’t Knott died…..?

    Reply
  8. star227 says

    April 3, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    FB is to blame for a lot of it. For some reason, it puts your old posts in your notifications(years old)…like there is nothing going on in your life NOW so you may as well recycle some old crap!! I really hate that as people post it and I think it’s happening NOW and you say you are sorry or congratulate them and it happened 5 years ago!!! Could be where some of the weather reports come from. And who looks at the date?? \We ASSUME…and we all know what THAT can do…..that it’s from today!!

    Also, some of the Fan pages……like METV and other OLDIES stations, do post pics of stars long gone if it is the anniversary of their death. And then people re-post them. Where else would they get them?? So there is plenty of blame to go around . We are just innocent newshounds trying to get LIKES!!! lol

    Reply
  9. Tom Neely says

    April 3, 2016 at 6:46 pm

    Here is some GOOD news, form just last month:

    March 4 – President Kennedy appoints Sargent Shriver to head the Peace Corps. He also dines at the home of his brother, Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy.

    March 13- President John F. Kennedy proposes the Alliance for Progress in Washington DC.

    March 1961 may have been better than March 2016. Let’s bring it back.

    Reply
  10. Tim C says

    April 4, 2016 at 11:52 am

    OK, I take back what I said about you being a prophet, Andy. We didn’t get a bit of snow overnight. Mother Nature always gets Her way…

    Reply
  11. Cal Lamoreaux says

    April 4, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    Too many people take what they read in FaceBook at face value, or do not think much about it. Hey, TV news is supposed to be factual and FB is supposed to be opinion and gossip.

    Reply

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Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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