Andrew Heller

Best. Columnist. Ever.

  • About
  • More Posts …
    • More Posts …
    • Come Heller high water
    • The Heller Poll
    • Steve Jessmore photos
    • Auchtoons
  • Books
 

The Drubbler drubbles on, joking all the while

July 17, 2016 by Andrew Heller 6 Comments

10606555_703481539736702_4014534767367278510_nMy dad died of a heart attack at age 60. My brother died of a heart attack at age 40. Hearts are the family curse, so the condition of mine is never far from my mind.

column photo suitI’ve always wondered, “If I ever have to have surgery, how would I handle it?”

I honestly don’t know the answer but I hope I handle it like Riley McLincha of Clio.

If the name sounds familiar it’s because he’s The Drubbler, meaning the guy who dribbles three basketballs at once — drubbling is his name for it — while running the 10-mile Crim road race each August, to the astonishment of his fellow runners and the delight of spectators.

Riley has been a runner — and therefore slim and fit — his whole life. But in April, an old problem finally caught up with him.

“My problem is a congenital defect,” he told me. “Like 2 percent of the population, I was born with a bicuspid aortic valve instead of a tricuspid. By about age 65 that 2 percent needs a valve replacement.”

Riley is 65 but he knew he had a problem four years ago.

“At the start of a run I had some sort of discomfort in my chest. It got progressively worse every year. I had many tests and it wasn’t until 18 months ago I was told I had aortic stenosis and a thoracic aortic aneurysm. The aneurysm was caused by the increased pressure of the blood through a smaller valve opening.”

Fifty years ago, such a diagnosis would have amounted to a death sentence. But these days, owing to the miracles of modern medicine, doctors told him they could fix him up with a pig valve and some flexible Dacron tubing.

He had the surgery in April. Five days later he was out and issuing pig jokes on his Facebook page.

“Since I’m now one-part pig, I decided to make a new (slop) bucket list,” he wrote. It included:

  • Renew my ham radio license.
  • Become a member of Kevin Bacon Fan Club.
  • Rewatch the movie ‘Babe.’ (It’s about a pig in case you hadn’t guessed.)
  • Make the Mythbusters prove you can make silk purse from a pig’s ear.

2006He later wrote, “My cardiologist said, ‘you are my model patient.’ I’ll say it again (oink) for those who did not get the word, my problem was congenital, my heart has been thoroughly examined and is clean as a whistle because of staying fit. If you are able to get fit, get your Nikes on and just do it. (oink)”

At one point, I asked him how he stayed so upbeat and positive throughout such an ordeal.

“Well, mostly, I just wanted to have the surgery so I could return to the lifestyle I’ve always known.”

And joking about it just seemed to help. Or as he wrote the day before the surgery, “I’ve been eagerly waiting to have this surgery now for 17 months. It’s Hammertime! Get this over with so I can go have a Michigan beer.”

Cheers to that, Riley.

By the way, The Drubbler, he says, will be back at the Crim this year, as always.

“If you’re a man with big (basket)balls, it’s what you do.”

Filed Under: All Columns Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, riley mclincha, the crim, the drubbler

Comments

  1. Sue Hill says

    July 17, 2016 at 8:27 am

    Gotta love Riley! I didn’t know about his heart surgery, but I’m happy to hear he is doing just fine. He is “funnier than a crutch” as my mom used to say, although why a crutch is funny is still a mystery to me. Riley’s drubbling never ceases to amaze me. That he can run while doing so is nothing short of a miracle in my book. Thanks for keeping us posted, Andy!

    Reply
  2. Tina Bindschatel says

    July 17, 2016 at 10:26 am

    I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you wrote this article. I say that because my husband, who is 55-years-old, is part of that 2% of the population that has a bicuspid aortic valve with severe stenosis. He’ll be having surgery on Tuesday at U of M in Ann Arbor. He found out about his condition in January. Since knowing he’s needed surgery, he has been fearful of the “what-ifs” and the actual surgery itself. Instead of a pig valve, though, he will be getting a cow valve. He does have a very good sense of humor so he has made some cow jokes!

    I will be forwarding this article to him so he can read it. I hope it will help alleviate some of his fears.

    Thank you, Andy.

    Reply
  3. Tom says

    July 18, 2016 at 12:00 am

    Okay, okay. The Drubbler is a great guy, and so are you, Andrew. The thing is, many of the people we meet every day are cancer survivors and aortic heart valve recipients (including my mom), and people who have come through all sorts of problems.

    But, they mostly do not seek recognition. They (we) are just regular people, not looking for recognition. Not feeling as if we deserve recognition. Maybe, sometimes, a little peaved when guys such as you and The Drubbler trumpet their health problems and hope for some sort of extra credit.

    Everybody has at least one problem, eventually. Not cool to try to cash in. Please stay humble.

    Reply
    • Tom says

      July 18, 2016 at 12:16 am

      Replying to my own post: It is extremely interesting that this guy can dribble three basketballs over the course of a ten-mile race. His health problem is a footnote, at best. Next article, maybe concentrate on the dribbling, rather than the health.

      Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      July 18, 2016 at 6:52 am

      I think you have your cynic goggles on, Tom. Riley didn’t seek out attention – nor am I. (For the record, I don’t have health problems at the moment. I have lifelong worries owing to a family condition.) The thing is, people see themselves in stories. That’s why I do them. In writing about a guy like Riley many others who are going through the same kinds of challenges can find a different perspective. That’s all.

      Reply
  4. Jim III says

    July 18, 2016 at 11:54 am

    In September 1986 I was in the Army Reserve, 70th Div. on a 5 mile run at Ft. Benning, Ga. about 3 miles into to the run I had to drop out of the run. I had no energy left. I was breathing hard. Could not focus very well.
    But I do not have any overt signs of pain in my chest and in my left arm.
    The Colonel in charge had me relieved of duty for “being out of shape”.

    I came back to Michigan and went and seen my Primary care doctor for my company physical. He did a ekg on me. He compared to my previous ekgs and sent right to the cardiologist.
    The cardiologist said that according to the difference in the ekgs that I had a heart attack between the exams.

    I learned that a person can have a “heart attack/event” and not realize it.
    When you go and have an ekg done make sure whoever is reading the ekg compares it to previous ekgs.
    An ekg can look “good” just looking at the one just taken but, unless you look at the previous ones the doctor/cardiologist cannot see if a change has occured since the last one.

    The Air Force in the 1970s’ could not figure out why they were losing so many pilots and planes from crashes. Every time they had lost a pilot and aircraft they would look at all sorts of data and could not find a cause. Of course when a fighter pilot flies into the ground at 440 mph there is not usually much left of the pilot.
    Then this one flight surgeon was studying a pilots medical file and he lined up the ekg charts and he noticed a difference in the lines.
    He checked some other crashed pilots ekgs and they all showed a difference in the ekgs from year to year.
    Now they check a pilots ekg from year to year, if there is a change, then they take whatever action they need to take.

    As a side note 2 weeks before I dropped out of the 5 mile run a Battalion Commander dropped dead on a different 5 mile run. In the years since there have been 5 or more battalion commanders also drop dead.
    Just because a person looks healthy and fit does not mean that they actually are.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Buy My Books!

Show_Cars_Illustrated_300x250-2018

 

Archives

  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016

Categories

  • All Columns
  • Auchtoons
  • Brenda Brissette Mata columns
  • Come Heller high water
  • Flint Columns
  • Guest columnists
  • Guns
  • Humor
  • John Matonich
  • Michigan politics and government
  • National politics
  • Steve Jessmore photos
  • Steve Murch
  • The Heller Poll
  • What do you think?

About The Author

Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

SOCIAL

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water I is the collection readers asked for, and includes columns that they wanted reprints of.

In true Heller style, topics cover everything from the craziness of having kids to tales from his U.P. days.

Buy My Books!

BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water 2-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water II is the smash hit follow-up to Come Heller High Water I. It includes everything from Andy's takes on modern life to conversations with his back home pal Moon Dimple, and much, much more.
 

Buy My Books!

BOOK: Saving the World One Column at a Time Paperback  ISBN-10: 0971495114 ISBN-13: 978-0971495111

Saving the World One Column at a Time is a bitingly funny look at the world through the eyes of this award-winning columnist. In it he takes on corporate crooks, Little League parents, tongue piercers, ketchup sinners and much, much more. A must-have for Heller fans.

Buy My Books!

Copyright © 2025 · Andrew Heller · Best. Columnist. Ever.

Mobile Responsive Website by Media Cafe Online, LLC · Log in