Moon Dimple, my back home pal, called. When I answered he said, “How’s it goin,’ sexy?”
“Fine,” I answered. “But why are you calling me sexy?”
“Because you were raised in the U.P. like me, of course. Didn’t you hear the news?”
“Apparently not.”
“Some big survey said the Yooper accent is the 14th sexiest in the country, right before Cajun and right after Miami.”
Well, that’s a kick in the head. I wasn’t even aware had an accent when I left the Upper Peninsula 40 years ago to attend Central Michigan University, much less that it was sexy.
But the first night in the dorm, I was talking to the girls next door and they said, “Oh my god, your accent is so cuuute! Say that thing you said at the end of the sentence again.””
“You mean ‘eh’?”
That made them squeal with delight.
“Now say ‘off’ again!”
I wasn’t aware at the time but apparently I and other Yoopers say “ahf” whereas downstaters (also known as mittenheads, fudgies or lopers) say “awf,” which I don’t understand at all. Saying “awf” requires an uncomfortable pooching of your lips and is far too much trouble. What’s wrong with you people?
“C’mon, say it,” the girls urged.
“Um … ahf.”
Squeeee!
“Now say ya!”
“Um … ya.”
Squeeee!
“Now say ‘you betcha’!”
“Now say ‘youse’!”
“Now say ‘anudder’!”
“Now say ‘dat’!”
“Now say …”
You get the idea. This went on for some time and I was happy to play along because, well, girls.
But the longer I was downstate the less I liked the attention, so I started changing the way I speak. These days, I sometimes still substitute “ya” for both yes and you but usually only when I’m tired.
I occasionally still end sentences with “eh,” which can mean a hundred or so things in Yooper-ese but for me usually means “you agree, right?” or “you understand, correct?”
Off is the one word I can’t seem to change, although I’ve tried.
But other than those few terms and a slight flattening of my vowels, like they do in the movie “Fargo,” if you listened to me these days you’d be hard-pressed to tell I was a Yooper.
“You ought to embrace your heritage and go back to speaking like you used to speak,” Moon said.
And maybe I will. I’ve lived a linguistic lie for a long time now, after all. Maybe it’s time to open the Yooper floodgates and let my sexy dialect flow, so to speak. I already revert when I’m back home, so I know it’s still in there.
I don’t think I’d mind the attention these days. And who knows, maybe there would be spin-off benefits. Yooper, after all, is the 14th sexiest accent in the entire nation. Maybe the lovely yet formidable Marcia would suddenly find me irresistible again.
“What do you think, sweetie?” I said, adding a wink-wink leer. “Should I go back to my accent?”
Her response: “Yeah, so, no. But you can take out the garbage.”
Ya, so, that didn’t work very well, eh?
I was shocked the first time I visited England to hear that English women LOVE Midwestern US accents on a man. They think it sounds like a sexy cowboy. Women at a pub would always take notice when I spoke. It was strange because I never thought we Midwestern folks had much of a detectible accent but I guess I was wrong. Live and learn I guess.
Even not having one is having one, right?
I am not a Yooper. I am from West Michigan, lower Pen. Never thought I had an accent. But, years ago, a guy in New York told me I talked funny. This guy in New York had a combination New York/African American/Caribbean accent. Wow!
A few years ago, I spoke with a guy from New Jersey. To my ears, he spoke like Carmela Soprano. However, he hated the way I spoke, and told me he spoke like all the people on network TV (NOT!)
People in Texas say, “eyes,” the same way I say, “Oz.” People in England say “CON-tribute,” rather than, “con-TRIbute.” Still, we understand one another, and we can communicate, and get along.
It baffles me how anyone could think a Boston accent is sexy. Sounds like geese honking to me.
I am from Western Pa. Pittsburgh area. When I attended Adrian College, everyone pointed out my Eastern accent. I was not aware I had an accent, but painfully aware of the Michigan accent. I have been in Michigan now since 1980 and I have lost my accent. Probably sound like a Michigander…or Michiganite…or whatever.
What do you think we sound like?
I don’t think I read anything with Moon Dimple since before I got married and moved to Charlottesville. That was in 2005. It’s great to hear from Moon Dimple again. I hope we can get another with him soon.
I remember the first time I learned that I have an accent, or “talk funny”. I was in San Francisco in 1996 when some Californian made a comment about the funny way I talk. After moving to Virginia, I became used to it. Southern accents were everywhere, I stood out with my northern accent.
Come to think of it, I learned the term “Northern Tier accent” from Andrew Heller himself when he wrote about how he swoons when Sarah Palin speaks. How long ago was that?
He’s still around. Here’s one just a couple years ago. https://andrewheller.com/the-trump-guide-to-life-success/
Michigander Jeff, Michigander.
Say Michiganite again, and you’re going to have to be sent back to PA.
Being new to the area, having just arrived in 1980, you may not appreciate how serious this is, so we can let this one go, but don’t play with matches in a powder room.
Ugh, hate Michigander. I’d rather be a Michiganian. Or a resident of Michigan.
In the interest of inclusivity/diversity, I should explore the linguistic nuance that is the homogenous, ALL-WHITE jargon of the U.P. and one particularly race guilty expatriate( faux journalist). Is it PHO-ny doss-i-ER? Maybe sed-IT-ion? Would it be TREA-son? I ask only because these particular words seem destined to dominate the public political discourse in the very near future, and I’d love to sound U.P. sexy while discussing obozo’s dirty cops. Thanks in advance.
What in the world…?
Wow.
Bet you’re lots of fun at parties Brad.
Brad: Odd. Weird.
Moved to Kansas City, Missouri in the mid 80’s and noticed 2 things out there – either a southern drawl from folks living in the country or southern part of the state OR a very clear accent free speaking style. Found out that there were a lot of national call centers back then that located in neighboring Iowa or Nebraska because of no accent.
Returned home for Christmas and quickly realized that Michiganders slur the end of our words.
We mumble too.
Michigander sounds so gender specific. Michigoose? Michigeese?
Lord, I hate Michigander. I’d rather be a Michiseagull.
In the mid ’50s, in our little one-room school in the Middle of the Mitten, we were taught we should refer to ourselves as “Michiganians.” Today when I use that term people look at me as if I had just wandered in from some other planet.
Sorry Andy, Michigander’s not just a good idea, its the law:
http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(50izrdmuteo3xu55hdfepd55)/documents/mcl/pdf/mcl-chap399.pdf
Chapter and Verse?
Andrew – Somewhere above, you asked, “What do we [Michigan people] sound like?”
I only have come up with one general answer: When we talk, we sound like the Beach Boys when they sing. Not like Elvis, not like Aretha, although Aretha is from Michigan. I guess I am answering for white Michigan people.
Your original question is extremely complicated: Yoopers versus others, west versus east, black versus white, male versus female, millennial versus boomer versus older, and more. I love this topic. Shall we start a new blog just to write about Michigan accents?
Adam, Chapter and verse in your PDF?
Oh, sorry.
Just do a search (Ctrl-F) for Michigander.
Standard searchable PDF.