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How to survive The Donald in two easy steps

July 21, 2019 by Andrew Heller 34 Comments

For their health and well-being, if nothing else, Democrats and others who are horrified by Donald J. Trump have to stop doing two things:

  • Being shocked by him.
  • Expecting a savior to do something about him.

The latest, greatest example is his stunningly racist tweet-storm about four Democratic congresswomen of color who he said should go back home to their countries of origin. (I shouldn’t need to remind you of this but I will anyway: They are “home.” They were all born here, save for Ilhan Omar, who was born in Somalia. They’re all 100 percent American. Just like Trump, whose ancestors hail from Scotland and Germany. The difference: Trump has never, ever told a white male of Scottish or German descent to go back home and fix the problems there first. And he never will.)

Decent people were, of course, aghast that he – the president of the United States, as they usually harrumph it – would say such a vile thing.

But was it really a shock? Quite clearly, not.  For three years now, nearly everything that has oozed from Trump’s mouth or fingertips has been something that even your not-quite-right-uncle would only say at Thanksgiving after three too many Budweisers.

So why do we clutch our pearls and fan ourselves each and every time he tops his latest, greatest tweet or comment? Shouldn’t we expect this by now?

Of course we should. But I don’t think we want to. I think many of us are secretly entertained by him, and part of us doesn’t want him to stop. He’s a bigoted, narcissistic fool, sure. But we never got this much entertainment value out of any previous president.

In TV terms, Obama was a televised Sunday morning church service – snoozers! – and George W. Bush was a wacky sitcom. (Trump is – to go way, way back – Archie Bunker, only without the underlying heart and decency.)

Trump, by comparison, is the lead character in a soap opera called “As the Nation Turns.” We’re horrified by what he says and does, but we also can’t look away. We gotta see how this thing ends!

I suspect many Democrats and undecideds who object to Trump are only willing to be entertained by him because they see little to be alarmed about, long-term. They feel that the damage Trump is doing, whether it’s to the presidency itself, our relationships with other countries or even things like the environment, will be fixed after he’s gone, whether that’s 2020 or 2024. (My money is on 2024. People really love soap operas.)

They’re probably not wrong about that. America is a strong nation, and whether he gets re-elected or not, I think we’ll survive both him and the undercurrent of pure hate represented by the rally crowd that chanted “Send her back!”

Maybe it’s naïve, but I believe good is still stronger than hate, although hate sure is landing some haymakers right now. That’s a scary thing, of course. And maybe that’s why so many people seem to believe so strongly that there’s a savior coming to knock The Donald off his horse and save us.

But that’s not going to happen. Lawsuits by porn stars didn’t save us. Rape and sexual assault charges by multiple women haven’t stuck to him. Investigations haven’t derailed him. And you can sure as heck stop believing that the Republican Party, which for decades billed itself as the party of decency, faith and patriotism, is going to come to its senses and untie us from the train tracks.

We need to knock off the magical thinking. This week, for instance, Robert Mueller – Saint Bob – testifies before Congress, and again everyone will be hoping that he’ll reveal something that will finally lead to Trump’s downfall.

But it’s not going to happen. The cavalry isn’t coming, people.

Bob Mueller isn’t going to save us.

Only you can do that. It’s called voting.

Filed Under: All Columns, Humor, National politics Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller.com, Trump

Comments

  1. Jim says

    July 21, 2019 at 9:35 am

    Three out of four were born in the U S , and all citizens. Now if your Tigers could get a batting average nearly that high . . . oh well, maybe next year.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      July 21, 2019 at 10:20 am

      I corrected that. Writing too fast!

      Reply
  2. Ginny Braun says

    July 21, 2019 at 10:14 am

    Just logged on
    Andy please check out todays’ Doonsbury in the
    cartoon section. I would love to hear your opinion of his advise ” Always bet on the cornered rat.”

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      July 21, 2019 at 10:19 am

      Ha, that’s probably true. Thing is, Trump doesn’t see himself that way. He’s a narcissist. He thinks he’s beautiful and we’re all wrong.

      Reply
  3. jbcsfl says

    July 21, 2019 at 10:33 am

    Your last sentence says it all.
    “It’s called voting.”
    Get to the polls in 2020.
    Vote him Out!

    Reply
  4. Rockin' Jake says

    July 21, 2019 at 11:57 am

    What the scary thing is, he has 40% approval rating. He followers love every thing he does and says. They think he is a rock star. No matter how blatant he lies or exaggerates they thinks it is the gospel truth. That is the scary thing.

    Reply
  5. Fred says

    July 21, 2019 at 12:40 pm

    Reverse pyschology. I like it.

    The environment, foreign relations, ect, are not my biggest concerns. The hate and racism Trump has stoked up over the last few years and validates every day may take generations to go back underground where it belongs.

    Racism has always been around, but for the last couple decades it had been politically incorrect and expressed aloud by only a few fringe characters. Now, thanks to Trump and the enabling GOP, it is becoming a normal and accepted view point to close to half of the country’s population.

    It may be a long time before we can fix that particular mess. Trump is not a uniter, he is a divider and proud of it. Anyone who says different is detached from reality.

    Reply
  6. bookieb says

    July 21, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    Thinking voting will cure all ills is a fantasy. In the last election the person who got the popular vote is not our president. Republicans have gerrymandered the electoral votes so the Dem’s can’t win no matter how many voters turn out.

    Reply
  7. NativeOfMichigan says

    July 21, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    In the 60’s Peyton Place was the controversial soap opera. Of course in today’s world, it would not even earn a yawn. Instead, are we in a race down toward the bottomless pit?

    How low,
    We go,
    How bad,
    And sad.

    Reply
  8. Adam says

    July 21, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    And yet bookieb. the Democrat won both the popular and electoral college votes two elections in a row in 2008 and 2012.

    Gerrymandering is an evil that needs to be stamped out. But throwing up your hands and saying that voting doesn’t matter is ideologically, strategically, and demonstrably wrong.

    Reply
  9. Abner Devereaux says

    July 21, 2019 at 4:01 pm

    Andy Heller – Please provide proof that President Trump was referring to any given member of congress in his commentary. He never said any names or any terms such as “The Squad” so where is your proof?

    Or do you just go along with anything other liberals write against President Trump?

    Reply
  10. Abner Devereaux says

    July 21, 2019 at 4:03 pm

    Back in the 1970’s there was a common bumper sticker that read “America – Love It Or Leave It”. The concept has been around a long time and has nothing to do with race.

    Reply
  11. Adam says

    July 21, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    Don’t Abner, don’t do that.

    Have as much respect for your integrity as we do for your intelligence.

    Reply
  12. Fred says

    July 22, 2019 at 1:24 am

    Andy could show Abner/W0rking Dad the video where Trump names all four of the women in the squad right before the “send her back” chants started and he still won’t acknowledge it as proof. There will be no “I stand corrected” moment with him. He will just pretend he didn’t see it, because he is a hypocrite and a fake Christian. The only god he really worships is Trump. He is a proud member of the Trump cult where facts and proof are irrelevant in any discussion. Am I right, Abner/W0rking Dad?

    Reply
  13. Fred says

    July 22, 2019 at 1:36 am

    And again Abner/W0rking misses the point, which is typical among the tone-deaf racists who make up the Trump cult. Lots of well known people complain about the state of our country. One of the biggests offenders is Trump himself. Yet the only people Trump suggests should leave the country are those with brown skin. It takes a real bigot to miss something so obvious. And, Abner/W0rking Dad is one proud bigot.

    Reply
  14. Matthew says

    July 22, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    I am sick of the tone Trump sets for our country and for the world. Nasty, boorish, feisty, ignorant-yet-arrogant, baloney-at-best. I myself got drawn into it, and made mistakes in communication, but now, I want to stay away.

    Anyone other than Trump, please. Andrew Heller for President!

    Reply
  15. Linda Best says

    July 22, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    I’m not so sure that Trump is entertainment. I, personally, am scared to death at what I see happening in my country. Hatred and bigotry have come oozing out of the sewers of the minds of people who now think it is ok to spew such nastiness. People I knew and thought to be kind/religious folk have shown their true feelings. I feel like we have stepped back a few decades. Once the Genie is out of the bottle, it’s very hard to put him/her back.

    Reply
  16. Matthew says

    July 22, 2019 at 11:19 pm

    You guys! I just had a god-awful American political experience!

    I got in touch with my old best friend from high school, by phone. We barely have spoken , over 40 years. But, he immediately insulted me and my high school girlfriend. He called us fascist stalinist liberals, even though he knows nothing about us, anymore. 40 years. Eventually, on the phone, I swore at him, and hung up. My best old friend!

    Irrational divisions in the USA. No rational solution. Oy.

    Reply
  17. Fred says

    July 23, 2019 at 6:28 am

    There are two Americas. One with no basis in reality. That one is has a cult mentality. Trump’s base is a cult and should be referred as such going forward. There should be no more referring to them as conservatives or Republicans. That is not what they are. They are a cult.

    John Kasich and James Comey are conservative republicans and It would be awesome if they challenged Trump in the primaries. They could actually beat him, because most conservative republicans long for decency amd are appalled by Trump. A couple of them are commentators here. Decency means nothing to Trump’s cult following.

    The winning campaign hashtags Democrat candidates need to use are:
    #MakeAmericaDecentAgain
    #LockHimUp (the voters don’t want to hear about the environment or health care. That boring stuff should be a given. They want to know if Trump is going to be held accountable.),
    #TakeOurFlagBack (For the last few years the U.S. flag has been becoming a cringe worthy symbol of white nationalism and Trump keeps slobbering on it. We need to restore the meaning of what America is or should be: leader of the free world; tolerant; compassionate for the poor, tired and hungry; always growing and improving.

    Reply
  18. Christine Guerriero says

    July 23, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    When my grandma dies at 87, we found out she was an illegal alien. She came from Canada. They couldn’t push her back there, if they tried!

    Reply
  19. Brad says

    July 24, 2019 at 10:17 am

    In 2015 Rashida Tlaib released a tweet directed at candidate Donald Trump saying “deport this asshole”. Gosh Heller, all these white racists telling folks of other races to leave is so maddening. Oh wait………

    Reply
  20. Adam says

    July 24, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    Context is everything Brad.

    She was saying it as an ironic refutation of him saying that Muslims don’t belong in this country. ie. “This guy saying people can’t enter is actually the one that needs to be kicked out”

    In contrast, he said it to four women of color, and only them, not Pelosi, or Shumer, or any other white Dem that had ever been critical of him or what the country was doing, just those four… Wonder why they got the special treatment?

    Look at it this way, if I approach you in the lunchroom, wink and say “I bet you reeaaallly like watermelon”, you’d walk away thinking I was a bit creepy.

    Or maybe uncannily prescient, who knows…

    OTOH, if I walked up to my black co-worker and said the exact same thing, I could rightfully expect to be packing my belongings in a box by the end of the day.

    Please don’t slander your own intelligence by pretending not to understand why.

    Reply
  21. Fred says

    July 25, 2019 at 8:18 am

    Brad,
    You have the opportunity to remedy your image in 2020. However, I highly doubt you will take it. Unlike Adam, I don’t believe you have any intelligence to slander. This is who you are, ignorant, hateful and racist. Let’s see if you prove me wrong.

    Anyone who votes for Trump in 2020 is content with having a racist president and deserves to wear the label.

    Reply
  22. Matthew says

    July 25, 2019 at 2:47 pm

    Brad, I think you might be wrong. Rashida Tlalib’s famous quote is, “We’re going to impeach the motherfucker.”

    Reply
  23. Brad says

    July 25, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    Yes Matthew, she said that as well…… but google it ( if you dare)

    Reply
  24. Brad says

    July 25, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    Matthew, rest assured that Heller searched and FOUND Tlaib’s 2015 tweet calling for deportation of Trump. Sadly, it doesn’t fit the narrative of his latest drivel, hence the silence. Wall to wall hypocrisy on this tiny blog is nothing new. Someone here is still trying to figure out how to explain why Trump keeping little brown kids in border cages is racist, but Hussein Obama doing the same is fine and dandy, nuts and candy. How would you like to be THAT loser?

    Reply
  25. Fred says

    July 25, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    Brad,
    You sure are trying hard to convince yourself that you are not a racist. The only way to shed that label is to stop supporting and defending racists, which is something you had been doing for at least two years.

    Did you just learn this? This is old news. Try to keep up. Again, “context is everything”. The cages were “built” under the Obama Administration with the intentions of holding immigrants for no more than 72 hours before they could be relocated to more suitable housing.

    The current inhumane treatment, including separating 1000s of children from their parents is 100% Trump’s doing as part of his zero tolerance policy.

    I will remind you that these refugees consist largely of those who arrived at “Legal points of entry”. I am still waiting for you to explain why they are criminals. Surely, it’s not because their skin is brown, is it Brad?

    Reply
  26. Brad says

    July 28, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    Isn’t it funny how Bernie Sanders whines for a $15/hr minimum wage, yet pays his staffers less? When his staffers complained, Bernie raised their wages , and cut their hours . Something about what’s good for thee, but not for me. Now we have RaSHITa Tlaib callling for $20/hr minimum wage. Why stop there? Let’s make it $40/hr. Can you imagine a world where everybody is making at least $40/ hr? Nirvana. Utopia. Heaven. Don’t worry libs, it’s all good. Wages are arbitrary, certainly not a factor in the business model. Hey progressives, start your own businesses, and pay your employees whatever wage they demand…….otherwise STFU.

    Reply
  27. Fred says

    July 28, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    We have a whiny racist in the White House, but this is what gets Brad bent out of shape. Please continue whining Brad. It’s funny.

    Reply
  28. jbcsfl says

    July 28, 2019 at 5:58 pm

    You should follow the fibber in chief’s proclamation.
    “If you are so unhappy with our country, you can leave.”
    He will not care, he even said so.
    The dictator gives you a way out, take it or pitch it.
    Life is too short, you should enjoy it while you can.
    It is your choice.

    Reply
  29. NativeOfMichigan says

    July 28, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    Yesterday Trump said that Baltimore “is a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess”. The only infestation is in the white house, infested with individuals with the empathy of head lice.

    Reply
  30. Brad says

    July 30, 2019 at 7:51 am

    Apropos of everything…….democRATS.

    Reply
  31. Fred says

    July 30, 2019 at 9:44 am

    Oh…..the racist has insults.

    Reply
  32. Adam says

    July 30, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Brad, most of the people here are concerned about serious events with historical consequences.

    Please try to elevate your level of discourse above 3rd grade spelling worksheet puzzles.

    As an ideological statement, showing you can identify words inside of other words much less compelling than you might think.

    Reply

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