Donald Trump seems to be ushering in a new era of anger in America.
It’s always been my policy to zig when people like that are zagging, so this is a good time to go the other direction from Trump and his Trumpettes and start making peace with some of the people and things in this world that drive me crazy.
Therefore, in true Trump fashion, I am raising my right hand and solemnly swearing to try and stop cussing and fussing as much as I do about the following irritants, so help me Oprah:
People who drive slow in the fast lane — I’ve probably bored you to tears over the years with all my moaning and groaning about the brain-dead twits … er, I mean, motorists who poke along in the left lane, oblivious to the rising blood pressures in their wake.
I used to curse these people, and wish bad things upon them — like, say, forcing them to eat kale or watch a Kardashian marathon.
But no more. Instead, when I encounter these people I am going to take a deep breath and go to my inner happy place, where public executions of nitwits who drive slowly in the fast lane are legal and well attended. Problem solved.
Commercials for personal issues — I have a thing about all commercials for prescription medicines. I have never once, nor will I ever take medical advice from a TV commercial and ‘ask my doctor’ about what medicines to take. Mostly, because I suspect she’d hit me. She’s the doctor, after all, not me. If she thinks I need a pill, I’m sure she’ll tell me. Doctors don’t want to be told what medicines to prescribe any more than mechanics want to be told how to fix a car.
TV banter — For some reason, the cutesy banter TV anchors employ between segments has always bothered me beyond all reason. This is not healthy for me. They’re not going to stop saying dumb things like, ‘Ha, ha, I guess that contest is really going to the dogs’ after a segment on the Westminster dog show just because I want them to, even if it makes me want to wing my remote at the set. So I’m just not going to let it bother me anymore. It’ll be better for my health and I won’t have to replace so many TVs. (Flat screens are so flimsy these days.)
Leaf blowers — We’re entering leaf blower season. I contend the world was a better, quieter and healthier place before the invention of the leaf blower. As soon as the grass is long enough to cut, I’ll awake most Sunday mornings to the sound of one of the dad-blamed devices. I wouldn’t hate them half as much if the people who operate them didn’t blow their lawn waste into the street where — I can only presume — they expect the ‘lawn waste cleaning fairies’ to whisk it away for them.
I am not going to let things like that bug me anymore, though.
Thank you, Donald Trump.
I suspect that’s the last time I’ll ever write those words.
Not sure when you wrote this, but I’m sure whether it was 5 days, 5 hours, or 5 minutes ago, you’re back to letting these things bother you.
It’s who we are. Nice try though.
And I suspect that none of these wise and well thought out resolutions will actually take hold. But hey, it’s great that you’re willing to try!
Good thing you don’t live next to us! My husband got his first leaf blower on Mother’s Day (don’t ask). He roamed the yard every day looking for things to blow away. Then he discovered it did a great job of cleaning fluffy lake effect snow from the driveway and cars. It’s like the machine has become permanently attached to his hand!
Trump does make me feel like a far better behaved and intelligent person when I listen to him, because I don’t sound like him. That is the nicest thing I can say about him and still honor Thumpers’ daddy.
Me too.
We are in agreement about the people/things that irritate us, but you left one off the list. When lanes of traffic are merging on the highway and all the drivers dutifully mesh into a single lane that progresses slowly but steadily, seems there is always that one guy who zips up the cleared lane to the head of the merge and expects to weasle his way in the front of the line. I know there is a special circle of hell just for these guys.
Right on, Ink. Hate those people too. Exception: I drive a freeway that has a mile long narrowing part. People start cramming over with a mile of free road yet to go and if you decide “Well that’s stupid” they get P.O.ed and block the lane, that’s stupid. The mile is there so you can merge when able.
Trump is not “ushering in a new era of anger” in American. The anger has been there a long time. We are tired of politicians on both sides who go to Washington, promising things and saying they’re not going to increase the debt and the budget, and before you can blink they’re doing it again. They say they’re going to close the border and have standards and rules for coming into the country and then we watch while thousands just walk right on in, while the rest of us try to make it through the grocery store and not overspend our limit. And then we come home and pay our bills that are due for the things we own and have to keep up.
Donald did not MAKE people angry, he’s just stated the obvious in a way no other politically correct pol would dare to do.
This does not mean I am 100% FOR him, but it explains why he is attracting the attention of so many people.
Certainly, it is more refreshing then listening to Hillary drone on in her scripted style.
But is the “anger” legitimate? No. Not the part about “too much guvmint” and hatred toward nonwhites. The part about declining wages and jobs – yup, legit. But guess who’s among the 1 percent screwing over the working man? The guy they love. It makes no sense? Trump plays to the audience that settles for thinking “they” are screwing everyone over. They can be whatever is expedient at the time.
Check out the LARDS Party.
Well said, Annette B. Mr. Trump is doing so well because many Americans are so sick of what this country is becoming. And Andy, prepare to start saying President Trump!!! Still love ya tho……………Ernie
I’m reading The Power of Habit, Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. I suspect these things bother you because you’ve made them a habit by continually revisiting the thought. It all makes me nuts, too except the blower thing. Blowing is much kinder to wildlife that’s in the materials being blown than raking.
Yeah, I shouldn’t let it bug me but I do.
Forgot to add … That is the BEST caricature of The Donald EVER!
Donald Trump is the candidate of guys who do not take off their hats while they eat.
Ha, I love that.
And another thing: that Heller guy he really ticks me off! But then I try to calm myself and enter my zone of peace saying: conservative lives matter, conservative lives matter, conservative lives matter… I always read ya’ Andy; it’s like eating a live toad every morning. After that the rest of the day seems great. So keep writing as you are the antidote for all common sense.
Thanks, Flushed, at least I do that well.
There is no such as “the fast lane” in Michigan. The speed limit is the same no matter what lane one is driving in. Although it bugs me to that drivers hog the far left lane, as long as they are driving the posted speed limit stop whining.
Having said that I am not one of those drivers but there are more important things to worry about.
True, legally. But that’s essentially what it is.