Andrew Heller

Best. Columnist. Ever.

  • About
  • More Posts …
    • More Posts …
    • Come Heller high water
    • The Heller Poll
    • Steve Jessmore photos
    • Auchtoons
  • Books
 

Domino’s pothole stunt should embarrass lawmakers … but of course it won’t

June 17, 2018 by Andrew Heller 25 Comments

Domino’s has a publicity stunt going right now where they pave over potholes (although, oddly enough, none in Michigan) to prevent damage to their pizzas.
Pretty clever.
Pretty sad, too. We’ve officially reached the point where government at all levels is so pathetically gridlocked and underfunded that even fast food companies are doing a better job of maintaining public services.
I blame libertarianism. At some indeterminate point in the far distant past, Republicans adopted the crackpot libertarian belief that all taxes – no matter how small or how needed – are bad.
So when the GOP is in power, they often cut taxes. Public services, in turn, suffer, to the point now in Michigan where it’s entirely plausible that you and your Ford or GM could be swallowed whole by a pothole, never to be seen again.
Or, in the case of poor Flint, your entire city could be poisoned, all because state government was trying to save a couple of bucks on chemicals.
Democrats are no better. Instead of being brave little boys and girls when they’re in power, they, too, prefer to cut taxes, if possible. They seldom, if ever, do the courageous thing and (gasp) raise taxes because they’re afraid they’ll be labeled as spendthrifts by Republitarians (copyright pending on the name) and voted out of power. (It’s all about them, people. Not us. Remember that.)
This is why our schools are a wreck, college costs are soaring, and our roads, bridges, water systems and parks are crumbling. In short, America has become like a wealthy, old miser who dresses in rags, won’t pay to see the doctor and dies alone in his decaying old mansion, surrounded by bales of money.
Since it’s a Michigan company, you would think state lawmakers, in particular, would be embarrassed by Domino’s stunt, maybe even enough to do something of their own to fix the roads and their own flawed, broken approach to public policy. But, of course, they won’t. When you hold office in Michigan, the mirrors always point away from you, not toward you.
“Wait a second,” you’re saying, especially if you lean Republitarian. “They’re doing something. Didn’t the Legislature just approve  $300 million in surplus funds to fix roads in metro Detroit?”
Yes, they did. But it’s a drop in a very large bucket. As Macomb County Executive Mark Hackel told the Free Press: “I’ve got 803 lane miles to fix right now.” The $7.7 million he’s getting from the surplus will rebuild about 4.5 miles of that. Woo-hoo!
The truth is Michigan is hopelessly behind in infrastructure spending. According to a ClickOn Detroit report earlier this year: “In investment per lane mile, Michigan is 33rd. Investment per vehicle-mile traveled. We’re 47th. And per capita, we’re dead last in the country.”
What that means is we’re ultimately to blame. You and me. (Well, mostly you. I’m willing to pay higher taxes for better public amenities.)
We love to gripe about the roads. A recent AAA survey said 90 percent of us rate our roads and bridges as fair or poor. But it also indicated we aren’t willing to pay more to fix them.
So we get what we get.
But let’s look on the bright side. If you don’t want to pay more in taxes but want your street fixed, you can always buy a pizza and ask the delivery guy to put in a good word for you with Domino’s.
Image credit: Eugene Peretz, Creative Commons

Filed Under: All Columns Tagged With: Andrew Heller, pizza, potholes

Comments

  1. Tommy B says

    June 17, 2018 at 9:09 am

    The hysteria of higher taxes with many of our citizenry has always boggled my mind. I too am willing to pay higher taxes if it is applied toward fixing roads and infrastructure enhancements. I think people see politicians and hear some stories of Government waste and just equate that with a misguided conclusion that all Government spending is bad. That is far from true, but try and convince them of that.

    Reply
  2. Jims says

    June 17, 2018 at 9:13 am

    I would be willing to pay more taxes if it went to it’s true purpose. When we passed the senior mileage a while back, the sheriffs office got a hundred thousand a year for elder abuse prevention. Isn’t what the sheriff should be doing anyway? Than the recent fiasco with the county and the golf tournament for vets. Thank God the Vets stopped that one. Then the MTA crying we will have to charge more for riders because we are broke, only to build how many multimillion facility’s around the county. Until we stop electing the same career politicians over and over I will vote no on any mileage or any tax increase.

    Reply
  3. teddy luba says

    June 17, 2018 at 9:27 am

    Right on Andy, those people want something for nothing. Put a one percent sales tax on for a limited amount of years with the money designated for roads and nothing else. That way everyone pays.

    Reply
  4. Fred says

    June 17, 2018 at 10:06 am

    The answer to getting politicians to look out for our interests instead of theirs, is ending money in politics and imposing term limits. When they aren’t focused on racking up enough votes and funds from special interest groups to win the next election, they might remember that they are there to serve the people.

    Teachers become teachers out of the desire to make a difference in the world. It’s not about money, although they should be paid fairly. It should be the same for politics. Unfortunately, politics is currently a business, not a public service. Everyone in politics has a product to sell, and a goal of being rich and powerful, just like any business owner.

    Reply
    • Rick says

      June 17, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      See, Fred, how would that work? Right now, lame-duck pols often run amok, since they are no longer fearful of losing an election, are no longer accountable to constituents. We’ve seen it, and recently, right here in dear old Lansing. Wouldn’t term limits turn ALL sessions of Congress/Legislature into an orgy of self-indulgence? I think so. (“Okay, I’m here, gotta get it quick!”)

      But I’m definitely with you in the Big Picture. Get money out of politics, AND get the gerrymandering out of the re-districting process. (You’ve got an opportunity to make that very thing happen in MI’s November election.)

      Reply
    • Rick says

      June 17, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      See, Fred, how would that work? Right now, lame-duck pols often run amok, since they are no longer fearful of losing an election, are no longer accountable to constituents. We’ve seen it, and recently, right here in dear old Lansing. Wouldn’t term limits turn ALL sessions of Congress/Legislature into an orgy of self-indulgence? I think so. (“Okay, I’m here, gotta get it quick!”)

      But I’m definitely with you in the Big Picture. Get money out of politics, AND get the gerrymandering out of the re-districting process. (You’ve got an opportunity to make that very thing happen in MI’s November election.)

      Reply
  5. Working Dad says

    June 17, 2018 at 10:50 am

    Andy Heller and all of you Democrats crying that your taxes are not high enough… Nothing is stopping you from voluntarily paying more taxes. It is an option on your return.

    Give 100% of your annual income back to the government in taxes. Don’t just talk-the-liberal-talk. Actually walk-the-walk. Live the liberal dream and give ALL of your money to the government.

    Unless you are a racist

    Reply
    • teddy luba says

      June 17, 2018 at 11:06 am

      Hey Working Dad, since you don’t want to pay more for good roads, why not offer your services for free to a road crew to fix the roads?

      Reply
    • Jims says

      June 17, 2018 at 11:21 am

      Why in the world would you pay your annual income in taxes? Why do you bring race into it? You back murderous communist dictators. You cry about programs for the poor and underprivlaged but want to have everything for free. You make no sense. Happy Fathers Day you which I don’t think you are. If you are I pity your children. Why won’t you answer the Fred and mines question? Do you support Kim and Putin? Easy. YES or NO. With your previous comment you do like communist principles. It’s pretty obvious.

      Reply
      • Jims says

        June 17, 2018 at 12:57 pm

        My not mines.

        Reply
    • Up in the U.P. says

      June 17, 2018 at 12:17 pm

      It must be awful being you, Walking Dead.

      Reply
    • Working Dad says

      June 17, 2018 at 1:07 pm

      You could make up buttons for yourselves. It would say….

      “I AM A 100%er!”

      Walk the walk Democrats. GIVE ALL of your money in taxes.

      Reply
  6. Jims says

    June 17, 2018 at 11:25 am

    Happy Fathers Day Andy. From the looks and sounds of things you have raised some awesome successful children and have a wonderful family! Have a cold one for me. Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads and Grandads out there also.

    Reply
  7. ann b says

    June 17, 2018 at 11:38 am

    Someone once famously said, “All politics is local”. And there is a truth in that. About 4 years ago, I called the county road commission and pointed out a couple roads near us. There were potholes in the road and on the shoulders which were quite deep. They have maintained them ever since, even grading the shoulders. It is in a residential neighborhood, but with heavy traffic. These things ARE the responsibility of the county for the most part. We should not always blame legislators or the federal government for every pothole. The expense and tax is best handled where the needs are.
    If you have a problem in an area, get after your local road commission, and see what answer you get.

    Reply
    • Fred says

      June 17, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      You forgot to mention where the money is going to come from. Nobody works for free.

      Reply
    • Jims says

      June 17, 2018 at 1:05 pm

      I have Anneb never got a response. Get a recording that thy don’t respond to if they don’t like your question. County commissioners are useless too. Just extra income in their pockets. At least Overpaid John Daly is gone but might be worse whoever is up next. They want to build new roads. Dort Highway extension to Holly road. Roundabouts. But you can’t drive on the existing ones. If it’s good for a vote in the next election they are all for it. If you live in a depressed area to bad they don’t care.

      Reply
      • ann b says

        June 17, 2018 at 2:34 pm

        Again, you don’t get the point. If you think that legislators sending money is what fixes the roads, then you don’t get it. I merely mean that we essentially have more power over our local people. We can vote them out, and hold them responsible. And as far as the money is concerned, more can be raised by tax, or other methods, but at least there is better accounting of it that way.

        Reply
        • Jims says

          June 17, 2018 at 8:55 pm

          You can talk till your blue in the face it doesn’t help!!! Iget it. Vote them out but shy do people keep reelection them

          Reply
          • Jims says

            June 17, 2018 at 8:56 pm

            Why not shy

  8. Tom says

    June 17, 2018 at 4:45 pm

    Ann is right. Talk to your locals. But, that is not the total solution.

    Reply
  9. Suze says

    June 17, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Grand Rapids voters chose to vote yes to keep our tax where it was instead of a small cut in 2014. Dedicated to streets, sidewalks . Also parks upkeep and improvements. Small price for clean, well kept and improving place to live.
    We are on lists of livable US cities and employers such as Amazon are coming to our area. Older areas of town are attracting entrepreneurial business owners who are revitalizing what was shabby and forgotten. It’s an attitude of optimism that people /citizens care and are willing to promote the general good.

    Reply
  10. Linda says

    June 18, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    There are communities in Michigan where the streets are maintained, parks are maintained, schools are up to date. This happens because those residents are willing to pay more in taxes to have a community that is inviting to newcomers, which is the cycle that keeps everything maintained. People can’t scream “No more taxes!” and expect to get services or education. I’m a grandparent now, but I have always voted to increases taxes, whether it was for local millage or schools, because I understand that costs will always go up, and I want Police and Fire Protection, Public Libraries, streets maintained, and Education. People will not be moving into Michigan for jobs unless they see pride in the community.

    Reply
    • Fred says

      June 18, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌████████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████████┌┌
      ███┌┌┌┌█████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌
      ██┌┌┌███████┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌
      ██┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ┌┌████████████┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ┌███┌██████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ┌┌████┌████┌██████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌
      ┌┌┌████████████┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌
      ┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███████┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌████████┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌████████████┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌█┌█┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌┌█████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██████████████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██████████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌
      ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌

      Reply
      • Fred says

        June 18, 2018 at 3:29 pm

        Yikes that wasn’t supposed to be that big. Sorry.

        Reply
  11. Fred says

    June 22, 2018 at 9:25 pm

    I want to share this with everyone. If you are having a bad day, this will cheer you up. If you are already happy, be prepared to be even happier.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QjvzCTqkBDQ

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Buy My Books!

Show_Cars_Illustrated_300x250-2018

 

Archives

  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016

Categories

  • All Columns
  • Auchtoons
  • Brenda Brissette Mata columns
  • Come Heller high water
  • Flint Columns
  • Guest columnists
  • Guns
  • Humor
  • John Matonich
  • Michigan politics and government
  • National politics
  • Steve Jessmore photos
  • Steve Murch
  • The Heller Poll
  • What do you think?

About The Author

Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

SOCIAL

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water I is the collection readers asked for, and includes columns that they wanted reprints of.

In true Heller style, topics cover everything from the craziness of having kids to tales from his U.P. days.

Buy My Books!

BOOK: Come-Heller-High-Water 2-by-Andrew-Heller ISBN-13:9780964983212

Come Heller High Water II is the smash hit follow-up to Come Heller High Water I. It includes everything from Andy's takes on modern life to conversations with his back home pal Moon Dimple, and much, much more.
 

Buy My Books!

BOOK: Saving the World One Column at a Time Paperback  ISBN-10: 0971495114 ISBN-13: 978-0971495111

Saving the World One Column at a Time is a bitingly funny look at the world through the eyes of this award-winning columnist. In it he takes on corporate crooks, Little League parents, tongue piercers, ketchup sinners and much, much more. A must-have for Heller fans.

Buy My Books!

Copyright © 2025 · Andrew Heller · Best. Columnist. Ever.

Mobile Responsive Website by Media Cafe Online, LLC · Log in