What this nation needs is a Donald Trump-on-truth-serum news conference.
Reporter: “Mr. President, do you really believe the news is fake?”
Trump: “Don’t be ridiculous, of course it’s not.”
Reporter: “So why do you keep saying it is?”
Trump: “Because they keep reporting what I say and do.”
Reporter: “Is that a bad thing?”
Trump: “When you’re saying and doing some of the things I say and do, of course it is.”
Reporter: “So has it ever occurred to you to stop saying and doing some of things you say and do?”
Trump: “Of course not. Otherwise I wouldn’t say or do them. Next question.”
Reporter: “So do you really think the media is the enemy of the people?”
Trump: “Not all. But some, yes.”
Reporter: “Who exactly?”
Trump: “Well, me, OK? You happy now? Next!”
Reporter: “So what about Russia. Do you really have a man-crush on Putin?”
Trump: “No, but you have to admit that the man looks great without a shirt.”
Reporter: “So why do you keep saying such nice things about him?”
Trump: “Did you somehow not read that intelligence dossier that was leaked to the press?”
Reporter: “Yes.”
Trump: “Then we can move on. Next!”
Reporter: “Why did National Security Adviser Michael Flynn really retire?”
Trump: “Because I told him to.”
Reporter: “Why?”
Trump: “Stupid question: Because he got caught. I don’t like people who get caught. I think I made that pretty clear when I was talking about McCain being captured, did I not? Next!”
Reporter: “So why did you put a private school advocate in charge of the Dept. of Education?”
Trump: “Because I plan to open a chain of Trump High Schools.”
Reporter: “You think people will really enroll their kids there?”
Trump: “They will if there’s no public school system left. Next!”
Reporter: “Why did you put an anti-environmentalist in charge of the EPA?”
Trump: “Because EPA regulations cost my business buddies money. Duh.”
Reporter: “And why did you put Wall Street tycoons in charge of the nation’s monetary policies?”
Trump: “So they’d make even more money. Double duh.”
Reporter: “What good does that do for the average worker?”
Trump: “Have you ever heard of the trickle-down economics theory?”
Reporter: “Yes, but do you believe it?”
Trump: “Ha, no way. Trickle down really means trickle on. But working people believe it works, and that’s all that matters.”
Reporter: “Lightning round. How long do you think Sean Spicer will last?”
Trump: “Not long. Do you see that vein throbbing in his temple at the press briefings?”
Reporter: “Where’s Kellyanne Conway gone?”
Trump: “Siberia. Had to do it after that alternative facts thing.”
Reporter: “Why is Somalia on the banned list when no Somalis were involved in terror here?”
Trump: “Because I don’t have any business interests there.”
Reporter: “And why isn’t Saudi Arabia on the list when most of the 9-11 hijackers were from there?”
Trump: “Because I do have businesses there. You’re not very bright, are you. Last question!”
Reporter: “Why won’t you release your taxes?”
Trump: “Because people would be able to tell who I owe favors to.”
Reporter: “Wow, you’ve never admitted that before.”
Trump: “Well, I’ve never been on truth serum before, now have I?”
Image credit: DonkeyHotey
Ha ha ha ha ha ha heeeeeeeeeee…… Boy, an I glad I swallowed that mouthful of coffee BEFORE I started reading this.
You left out mention of his Twitter addiction.
Twitter-de-dee, Twitter-de-dee,
The Dump tweets in his sewer with glee,
Says the Dump, says he,
“Will you twitter with me,
And follow me into my sewer, please, please?”
Twitter-de-dee, Twitter-de-dum,
“It’s fun to tweet and treat you like scum!”
Dear Native, Brilliant!
Old Man Donald had a head
EE-I-EE-I-OH
On this head he had some hair
EE-I-EE-I-OH
With hair dye here and blow dry there
Hair dye, blow dry
Such a fancy hair lie
Old Man Donald had a head
EE-I-EE-I-OH
Very good. Hairs another one.
The GOP ducks are coming out of their loo,
Weak ones, stupid ones, pathetic ones too,
Their bozo Donald duck with the mop hairdo,
Has turned them into clowns with the same orange hue.
I know it’s a funny article making fun of trump, hes really a big joke of a president he makes it easy for other people to make fun of him .But I really think the big joke will be on all Americans demorcracts and republicans in the long run ,it’s too bad for our country .
I know it’s a funny article making fun of trump, hes really a big joke of a president he makes it easy for other people to make fun of him .But I really think the big joke will be on all Americans demorcracts and republicans in the long run ,it’s too bad for our country .
As I recall, it was the Eagles who sang about President Trump:
“You can’t that lyin’ hair…”
Supposed to say: “You can’t hide that lyin’ hair… Ain’t no way to hide that lyin’ hair…”
It has gotten even better than I thought it would after the election. It is so wonderful watching all the liberal heads explode! I have waited many years for this man to take over. Life is good and getting better!
So you condone a man that pays no income tax and molests women,lies and makes fun of disabled people, loves a murderous dictator and is mentally ill
Just a wonderful world. Hang onto your arse bud if you think life is good. I can’t understand for the life of me how people like you think! It just boggles my mind. This man is for big business and for his own interests. He never thought he would win and when he did he doesn’t have a clue to what to do. He’s lost. This guy is an embarrassment to what this country stands for. What a joke he and his administration is.
And, your point is?
Another liberal head explodes!
No, in this case it is just another tRump fan exhibiting symptoms of “Ocular Rectitis.” (The faulty vision caused by “OR” is the result of inserting (either intentionally or inadvertently) one’s head into one’s own rectal cavity.) May heaven help those individuals if the ACA is repealed. Of course, if the condtion is permanent they may be mistaken for many members of Congress.
As I said, I love watching liberal heads explode! Another just did. You will all be good conservatives in less than 4 years!
Sorry Ernie, That was not “liberal head” that “explode(d)”. It was just the honest observations of someone who has been a registered member of the GOP for well over fifty years. So, before you go running around making grade school level accusations, put on your thinking cap. I’m fairly sure you didn’t sleep though all of your high school classes. (Well, on second thought….) When you start to get too self assured, you might want to review the vote counts. There were more voters who did NOT want tRump than did.
In order for a liberal head to explode it will need to actually contain something.
The liberal snowflakes in full meltdown are helping to solidify a Trump 2020 victory.
Keep it up snowflakes!
Troll??? Two names the same nut!
What?
To Jim says @ 5:17 p.m.
Lets see: slick willey has molested a lot of women over the years and Hilliary covered up and or threatened the women that dare to report him. Of course the major news outlets let the reports go by about slick willey.
The former president traveled to Cuba to praise the Castro cartel. If Cuba under the Castro cartel/crime syndicate is so good why are people trying to flee Cuba?
The only ones that have fled to Cuba are “revolutionary terrorists” that have broken laws here in America.
Like a lot of Americans I served in the army in the early 1970’s. While there a lot of us came to the realization that the Berlin wall and the entire border between East and West Germany was there for only one reason: It was to keep the people from escaping from East Germany.
It was never meant to keep out an invading army.
Before the 2012 election the former president was over heard on a open mic telling the Russian vice president that he could do more against America after the election. I do not remember his exact words.
One difference between President Trump and the former president is the use of the words “I and We”.
President Trump used the word “I” three times in his speech. He used the word “WE” more than 50 times.
The former president rarely if ever used the word “WE” in a speech. He always used the word “I” in every speech multiple times.
That ninny Trump has made it impossible to send an email to the White House. He does not take emails. One can contact through Facebook or Twitter, but now the White House will not take an email. Outrageous.
Heller writes a fantasy Trump/new conference. Not at all unlike the actual so-called news the main stream media has produced. Big difference Heller’s version is clearly a goofy made up version of the world while the main stream media makes up similar stuff and calls it actual news. Liberal silliness abounds. At least Heller’s version is clear nonsense.
Why at Tuesday’s address did so many Democrats wear white robes (and hoods?) like back in the “good ole days” when they created the KKK?