Saddam Hussein was hanging around the water cooler in Hell one day when Moammar Gadhafi came by.
“Hey, I hear you’re trending on Twitter up there,” Gadhafi said, gesturing up
“Get outta town,” said Hussein. “Is it the anniversary of my death or something?”
“No, bro, but one of the American presidential candidates said some pretty nice things about you.”
“Shut the front door!”
“It’s true. Remember that Trump guy?”
“Of course. I loved ‘The Apprentice.’ I used to watch it down in my hole. Whoo, boy, that Omarosa was a handful. Remember her?”
“Who could forget? Anyway, Trump is the nominee for the Republican Party.”
“You mean Bush’s old party — no way! I’d have figured him for a Democrat, if anything.”
“Me, too, but things have gotten weird up there, I hear. Anyway, he said you were a bad, bad dude but you had some redeeming qualities as well.”
“Such as?”
“Mostly that you were hell on terrorists.”
“Well, I don’t wanna brag but, sure, I had my moments. How did he put it? Give me the exact words.”
“I have an article right here. He said, ‘You know what he did well? He killed terrorists. He did that so good …’”
“So well.”
“S’cuse me?”
“In American English, it’s proper to say ‘so well’ not ‘so good.’ Bad grammar has always bugged me.”
“Can I finish, please? He also said, ‘He didn’t read them the rights, they didn’t talk. They were terrorists, over. (Now) Iraq is Harvard for terrorism. You want to be a terrorist, you go to Iraq.’”
“Is that true? Can you get a Ph.D in terror now in Iraq?”
“I guess so, otherwise why would he say it? I’m telling you, this guy’s a big fan. Back in December, he also praised how you gassed your own people during the ‘80s.”
“He did?” Saddam said, reaching for a hankie. “That’s so … that just means so much to me, I can’t even tell you. I mean, I never thought my work would be truly recognized, and now … excuse me, I’m getting a little verklemmt here …”
“Let it out, man,” Gadhafi said, choking up and patting Saddam’s shoulder. “I feel the same way you do. People think, ‘Oh, he’s a big important dictator who can murder and torture people at will. He must not need love or praise like the rest of us.’ They always forget we’re people, too.”
“But not this Trump guy!”
“Nope, he’s our kinda guy, all right.”
“I wonder if he’ll win?”
“A guy who makes that kind of sense? How could he not?”
Image credit: DonkeyHotey
My dad always called Baynard “Agent Orange”. I see there’s a new Agent Orange in town. I can’t decide if I like the article or the picture more, either way you nailed it!
Saddam and Muamar have an extra bedroom down in their apartment down in Hell. They are keeping it open for Dick Cheney.
Trump’s orange should morph into a sour lemon or lime when the election results unfold. Hillary as a fruit? Banana would be my choice, slightly green when she wins the election then more yellow and add a few bruises which are certain to happen,… sort of like a gauge as if the banana turns black we are in serious trouble.
What’s profoundly incredible and bewildering is that we encounter reasonably smart, educated people who say they don’t know for whom they will vote! . . . As if there’s any choice! As if both candidates offer a sane and reasonable alternative! That’s a false equivalency if there ever was one! . . . We have always wondered how the smart German people could have ever elected Hitler; now we can see how that could have happened.
Mike, you have nailed what many of us think. It literally blows my mind that any one thinks DT is an option for any position of leadership. It’s frightening that he can say the horrible , dangerous, ignorant, etc. things he does, and people think it’s ok. So hoping and praying for a landslide. Love ( and intellect) wins~