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Come Heller high water … the dealing with a disease edition

February 2, 2020 by Andrew Heller 17 Comments

Come Heller high water …

  • So, to recap the new GOP rules for the presidency: the sitting president CAN’T, if he’s a Democrat, appoint a SCOTUS judge in the last year or two of his or her term because we should “wait for the next election,” but the sitting president CAN, if he’s a Republican, using our tax dollars, coerce other governments into digging up dirt on his opponents and, if you don’t like it, tough noogies, wait for the next election and change it. I think we should take that as good advice. Remember this moment in November, people. Even if it’s raining or the polls show Democrats way ahead. Show up. Vote. Screw them. Get angry and stay angry. Donate. Volunteer. If your Dem favorite isn’t nominated, suck it up, buttercup, and vote for the nominee, anyway. Don’t protest vote. Vote against the party that is trying to make this country a monarchy and that supports a person of Trump’s character. Kick them out of the Senate. Kick them out of the White House. And keep them out until they again embrace heart, reason and the rule of law. Republicanism, in its current mutated form, is a disease. Be the cure.
  • Mary Higgins Clark, the queen of suspense books, died of natural causes last week at the age of 92 … or did she?
  • To treat coronavirus sufferers, China is building two massive new hospitals. That sounds like what happens in a pandemic movie, doesn’t it? Anything we should know, China? The American response would be to convene health insurance CEOs and see if there’s a way not to cover it.
  • A newly hired Grand Valley State University football coach resigned last week shortly after telling the student newspaper that Hitler was the historical figure he’d most like to have dinner with. “You can’t deny he wasn’t a great leader,” he said. Aside from the double negative, wow, that’s a stunningly not smart thing to say. Hey, Grand Valley, maybe make that a job interview question next time: “Which murderous dictator in history do you admire the most: a) Hitler b) Stalin c) Vladimir Putin or d) none of the above.”  Actually, we should make that a screening question for presidential candidates, too. Guess who wouldn’t be smart enough to answer d?
  • A new study says that as sea levels rise, Americans on the coasts are going to start moving inland. Toward us. Listen, Californians, if you’re going to move here, you’re gonna have to adapt to our ways, not us to yours. I’m not eating avocado toast. I don’t want to hear any whining about where the sun is. It just doesn’t exist here, OK? And, yes, that’s as big as the waves get on Lake Michigan. Deal with it.
  • Former Detroit Tigers outfielder Curtis Granderson retired last week. But why? At 39, he’s waaaay better than any outfielder on the Tigers’ roster. Don’t let him retire, Al Avila. Sign him!
  • In my view, the Groundhog Day’s groundhog is a noble and highly intuitive creature if it forecasts an early spring. If not, well, kiss my grits, ya filthy little ground weasel.
  • “True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” – Seneca

Filed Under: All Columns, Come Heller high water Tagged With: Andrew Heller, andrewheller, come heller high watercom

Comments

  1. jbcsfl says

    February 2, 2020 at 9:57 am

    The Republican Party is no more, it has morphed into the party of trump.
    I agree with Andy, vote against every Republican on the ticket, vote them all out in November.

    Reply
  2. Jim says

    February 2, 2020 at 10:09 am

    That ground weasel will never see its shadow if it lives in northern Michigan.

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      February 2, 2020 at 10:31 am

      Ha, true that!

      Reply
  3. Jims says

    February 2, 2020 at 10:16 am

    So the flu has infected more than 26 million so far and has killed 25,000 people n the United Stares. That number shocked me. That was according to an article in Sunday’s Flint Journal. I have found conflicting numbers though. No one has died and a handful of people have been infected with the Coronavirus. Overblown just like all the other new viruses that cropped up and never amounted to anything. SARS,Swine Flu, Bird flu now Corona Virus.

    Reply
  4. Raymond Dmoch says

    February 2, 2020 at 11:03 am

    This being politically correct is getting out of hand. Why wasn’t he hired for his merit instead of what he thinks? I wonder if he had said JFK or President Johnson or even W who were responsible for wars with other countries and the loss of civilian and American lives, would he have still been fired. Watch out Andy, the thought police are out to get you,

    Reply
  5. Fred says

    February 2, 2020 at 11:09 am

    The percentage of people in China affected by the corona virus is something like .0002%, but it makes a great sensationalized story and we love to be afraid of things we can’t control, so we can ignore the things we can control, like guns.

    Does anyone think the Hitler admiring Grand Valley State coach would had said that if Trump wasn’t president and making it okay to say things like that? That “Good people on both sides” included people who really, really admire Hitler too.

    Actually the sea levels rising is going to effect the Great Lakes too. We are all going to have to move into central Michigan and learn to get along…or not.

    Reply
  6. NativeOfMichigan says

    February 2, 2020 at 11:55 am

    John Dean said to Nixon, “We have a cancer within, close to the presidency, that’s growing”. Now we can say to Trump, “We have a cancer within, in the presidency, that has metastasized and you are the origin”.

    Reply
  7. Adam says

    February 2, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    And if you’re a Democrat, and you propose to use tax dollars to help poor people buy health insurance from private insurance companies, you’re a radical socialist that is ballooning the debt and interfering with economy.

    But, if you’re a Republican, and you impose massive tariffs on private businesses to make them buy what you want them to, rather than what they do, and then spend $28,000,000,000 in tax dollars to put farmers on the public dole because the trade war you started is wiping out hundreds of family farms across the heartland, then you’re not a radical socialist, you’re a stable genius.

    Even if the deficit is now over a trillion.

    Funny, the last time the deficit was over a trillion, it was because Obama was bailing companies out of the Great Recession. When that happened, a whole bunch of middle aged white dudes dressed up in funny costumes, protested across the nation, and raised hell at town halls.

    Now we’re not in an existential crisis, the deficit is over a trillion and growing, and all those guys are no where to be found.

    Funny, wonder what the difference is between Obama and Trump that explains the difference…

    Reply
  8. richard a. vogel says

    February 2, 2020 at 3:41 pm

    AMEN Andy amen!! We can’t say or yell it enough….VOTE, VOTE, VOTE Democratic…we must get back to somewhere around “normal”!
    P.S. Mr. Heller, “May your pen never, ever run dry”!

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      February 4, 2020 at 7:51 pm

      It won’t. I use a keyboard.

      Reply
  9. Jims says

    February 2, 2020 at 10:44 pm

    Ah yes Adam it’s called corporate welfare. Buts that all right with the far right. We are helping the farmers. Makes us look good . Screw the people that need it. Farmers I know have 200,000 dollar combines and tractors. Oh ya they are hurting so much. Scammers big time. They love the asshole in chief because they abuse the system more than anybody. And The debt was caused by Obama. Man I got some farm land to sell you in the Gulf of Mexico.

    Reply
  10. Brad says

    February 4, 2020 at 1:36 pm

    Hey Prius pilot, I just found out the Russians, at the behest of President Trump, screwed with the Iowa caucus democrat tally app. No results well into Tuesday afternoon. Looks like a real cluster f¥€k from here. Ironically, a whistleblower claims Trump will thank Putin by giving Alaska to Russia soon. Looks like that Schiff ( for brains) guy was spot on in his ‘Alaska giveaway’ prediction during yesterday’s impeachment farewell song. Uncanny, to say the least. Obviously it’s time for slobbering Nancy to pick up her gavel in one hand, a bottle of Tanqueray in the other and get the next peach-mint rolling. Better luck this time around.

    Reply
  11. Brad says

    February 4, 2020 at 6:00 pm

    I guess opposing voices aren’t welcome here. So typically liberal for the party that CLAIMS to embrace diversity. In liberal city, diversity is welcome as long as it marches lockstep with the status quo. You wear that cowardice well Heller. My close relative who worked with you warned me of that. Oh well…….

    Reply
    • Andrew Heller says

      February 4, 2020 at 7:49 pm

      What are you blathering about? Do you ever look at the comments here or posts on FB? I don’t block anyone or screen comments unless they become violent or just complete a-holes. I have an extremely thick skin owing to 30 years of writing my opinion for a living and, more to point, from being married for 35 years.

      Reply
  12. Fred says

    February 4, 2020 at 7:04 pm

    Opposing voices are welcome in my book, but alt right trolls like you are not.

    Reply
  13. Mama Bear says

    February 5, 2020 at 3:43 pm

    Other new rules: It’s OK for Republican Speakers of the House (Boehner and Ryan) to totally disrespect the President during the SOTU…sit while others stand, roll their eyes and make faces, and openly use their phones to tweet sarcastic comments. It’s OK for the Republican president to accept an invitation to the House of Representatives to give such speech and refuse to acknowledge the Speaker of the House, who personally sent him the invitation. When Boehner and Ryan did it, Conservatives grinned and said “Atta Boy, that’ll show him!” Now they’re all screaming about “Respect the position!” Remember folks, when you change the rules or lower the bar, you’re doing it for both sides.

    Reply
  14. Jims says

    February 5, 2020 at 4:37 pm

    Totally agree Mama. Trump can do and say any disrespectful thing and it’s OK. Trump and all republicans are nothing but immoral hypocrites. Degrades women disabled people and anybody they all hate.

    Reply

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Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

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