One of the things the lovely yet formidable Marcia loves most about me is how I’m always generously sharing fascinating news articles with her regardless of what she’s doing at the time.
For instance, the other day, I said, “Listen to this: These researchers at MSU say dogs’ personality traits are shaped by their owners, and vice versa. Isn’t that cool?”
“I’m trying to get some work done here,” she said, hunching over her laptop.
“It says the researchers surveyed 1,600 dog owners over two months and found that people who are couch potatoes are likely to have dogs that are couch potatoes, too. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Utterly,” she said, clearly fascinated. “Can I get back to this now?”
“Similarly, energetic people were likely to have perky dogs …”
“Seriously, sweetie, I’m …”
“… and socially awkward people were likely to have socially awkward dogs.”
“How about owners who won’t stop talking when someone’s trying to get some work done so they can go to bed? Did they study any of those?”
“I didn’t see that in here. But I am wondering how they could tell if a dog was socially awkward or not. I mean, did they stage a mixer or something? Or the dog equivalent of a high school dance?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “But can this be done now?”
“I mean, I thought all dogs were pretty much extroverts, seeing as how they sniff each in extremely rude places the first time they meet. That doesn’t exactly scream ‘wallflower,’ now does it.”
“You’re killing me. You know that, right?”
”Fascinating stuff, right? It makes you wonder about Tonka, whether he’s like us or we’re like him, and who’s influenced who more.”
At that, she paused and looked up from her screen. (Tonka is our dog, in case that wasn’t clear.)
“Hold on, that’s actually really interesting,” she said. “So let’s analyze this a bit. Tonka’s really a sloppy, horrible, unkempt mess, right?”
“I guess.”
“And he sleeps all the time.”
“Yeah.”
“And he doesn’t pick up after himself and expects me to do it.”
“Well, I don’t know about …”
“And he hogs the bed. And he scratches his back on the carpet like an old bear. And he eats his food likes it’s going to be taken away from him. And he tracks mud in all over the floors.”
“Sure, OK, he does all those things but …”
“And he sits in the window and grumbles at the neighbors. And he’s a total run-around-the-house loon when he’s happy. And he wants me to scratch and pet him constantly, and he gets grumpy when I don’t.”
“I don’t see where you’re going with this.”
“Don’t you see? You’re the dog! The dog is you. You and Tonka are peas in a pod. Those researchers are right! I’m literally married to two dogs who are clones of one another. You’re exactly alike.”
“That’s not true at all,” I protested. “I almost never pee on the carpet anymore. And you had him neutered, remember? You’d never do that to me, right?”
“If you say so,” she said, turning back to her laptop with what I swear was a slight grin on her face.
I have half a mind to stop reading her fascinating articles.
Photo by James Barker on Unsplash
But she failed to mention how cute and clever you both are, and if Tonka can write, you have a goldmine.
Karen (who loves dogs and your talent. )
If Tonka could write, marcia would have no use for me.
Dogs make life so much better. We are blessed to have them in our lives. Over the years I have been Dad to 11 dogs. They have all been intelligent, energetic and inspiring. Life without dogs would be so much less adventurous. Cleaning up after their poops is a tiny price to pay for what we get in return.
Let’s be honest – We all love goofy dog videos we see on the internet. 🙂
I pictured “Tonka” to be a large sleek chocolate-colored Lab like the one at the top of the article. Then I saw the picture of Tonka Heller! Adorable! No actual resemblance–but personality and manners sound very close!
My dogs drive me absolutely bonkers! They think they have to go outside & come in every 5 minutes, they bark at every noise they hear and they think that dog food isn’t good enough for them (yes, I cook for my dogs)! Aside from all of that, they make a big deal when we come home from work, or from anywhere, they are good listener’s when you have a bad day, they give great hugs and they provide unconditional love! They are my boys, my babies!
Thanks for the laugh! Classic Heller column.
My father was my dog. Same sense of humor, same view of the world. Even though we use to bark at each other and wrassle sometimes. RIP Ralph 1926 – 1986!
If I were you, I would be very concerned about that “slight grin on her face”. Check those lower parts every morning thoroughly when you wake up . . . . if you wake up!
Especially if your voice sounds a little high-pitched when you say, “Good morning, hon.”
I agree with the similarities of dogs & their owners. Our 10ish rescue Cocker is pretty much a sleeper, rest a lot just like his “father”. They go to bed between 9 &9:30. J J, the dog gets up 7:30 8ish with me. I am allowed to feed him his meal which consists of approx half can of special dog food. At a cost of $120.00 per month from Amazon. He also loves riding in the car, when the ride ends if he thinks it is not long enough he refuses to get out.
More another time about the Beatle pup who also lives here with our son.
Politics, anyone? Lead into next week maybe? We need to go along with Mr. Mueller exoneration of Mr. Trump. Best-respected investigator, greatest investigative team.
However:
1. It still is true that the Russians did a heck of a job influencing our election to Trump’s advantage.
2. Trump still is a low-down rattlesnake.
Adorable article. Making a note to look for Andrew Heller articles
I had to wait until someone with Trump Derangement Symptom to comment on the Mueller “investigation” before I would make a comment or two.
The report was released on Friday after 5:00 p.m. That is the usual time that any announcement coming out of Washington D.C. is released when the information is not a good report.
If Mueller had any information that implicated President Trump with “collusion and obstruction” during his investigation, it would have been released earlier in the day.
Mueller dutifully turned the report over to Mr.Barr like he is required to by law. He cannot turn over to anybody else.
Mr. Barr read the 400 page plus report and then issued a 4 page letter on what it said.
NO collusion and NO probable cause for obstruction.
Mr. Mueller was hired by R. Robinstein to conduct the investigation. Not by President Trump.
Yes rumors floated around that President Trump might of considered firing Mr. Mueller, but he did not. After all they were rumors.
From listening to various news agencies Democrats are slightly upset with the report.
There are a couple of democrats who want to have some more investigations, this time of Mr. Mueller. Probably to ask him why he did not find anything to charge President Trump with.
Yes, some of the people that worked for President Trump here in America were indicted for tax fraud and other things. These charges were for events at least 10 years or so before they were employed by President Trump started running for office. Not for anything they did while on his campaign.
Let me state this fact again, The Russians did not influence my vote and the vote of others that voted for President Trump. It was the democratic candidate that influenced to vote for President Trump.
In fact listening to the current list of democrats attempting to run for the office of POTUS none have any ideas or solutions to make me want to vote for any democrat candidate.