Miss Johnson’s 2nd-grade classroom, Fall 2018 …
“Miss Johnson, Amanda is making faces at me!”
“Shhh, teacher is busy right now, Billy. I’m pretty sure I saw something move behind that tree across the street.”
“Squirrels like trees, teacher!”
“Of course they do, Billy. But I don’t think it’s a squirrel. Miss Johnson thinks it might be a bad man.”
“Like the bogeyman?”
“Worse. But don’t you worry, teacher just installed her new .50-cal, tripod-mounted, fully automatic machine gun, complete with sandbag emplacement and armor-piercing rounds. We’ll be fine as long as long as he doesn’t have a bump stock, hand grenades or flamethrower.”
“Mrs. Johnson, what’s a machine gun?”
“It’s, uh, teacher’s little helper, dear.”
“What does it do?”
“It scares away bad men. Or blows gigantic holes in them. Depends on my aim.”
“Why do you have to blow holes in them?”
“Because the president said so, Billy.”
“Why does he want you to do that?”
“So people don’t blame him for kids being murdered and so Wayne LaPierre can live in a big house … er, I mean so I can protect you children. And so teacher can get her bonus.”
“What’s a bonus, Miss Johnson?”
“It’s what teacher gets if she packs heat and kills bad guys, Billy. Now stop asking so many questions. I saw movement again. Class, do your worksheet problems while teacher conducts a perimeter sweep with her new infra-red sniper scope.”
“Teacher, what’s a sniper scope?”
“It’s kind of like a telescope, Susie. Now do your problems.”
“But I hafta go to the bathroom.”
“You’ll have to hold it until you get home, Susie. Teacher takes a pay cut if any of you get shot outside the classroom during a lock-down, according to teacher’s new NRA/school board guidelines. And teacher can’t afford that. Teacher already lives on Ramen to pay off her student loans.”
“Why would someone want to shoot us?”
“It’s complicated, sweetie. Teacher doesn’t have time to explain right now because she has to do an ammo count.”
“I can count, Miss Johnson! I can add, too! Wanna see?”
“Hold that thought, Albert, while teacher clicks off a short burst toward that tree. TAKE THAT YOU, SLIMEBALL!”
“Eeek, I’m scared!”
“Don’t be scared , hon. See how pretty the tracer rounds were?”
“Miss Johnson! Miss Johnson! I think that was the mailman! I see his feet sticking out from behind the tree and letters on the ground and everything!”
“Don’t worry, Sarah. Teacher is pretty sure she just winged him. A little reconstructive surgery and his leg will be just fine. Say, I know, let’s make this a learning experience, shall we? Can anyone tell me what the term ‘collateral damage’ means? And who wants to help teacher draw a get-well soon card?”
“Teacher, I wanna go home. I don’t like school anymore.”
“Tell me about it, kiddo. Tell me about it.”
Image credit: DonkeyHotey
Typical left-wing propaganda, Andrew! You only have liberal snowflake second-graders in your story. I bet they all are illegal DACA immigrants to boot.
Wow, you got left wing propaganda, liberal snowflake,and DACA immigrants all in your hateful diatribe, is that a triple in hate speech world?
Ironic, Mark.
Why should we stop at arming teachers? Every school district in the USA could have its own rapid response force. They could buy surplus attack helicopters, and hire mercenaries, to stand by, every school day, just in case.
Every elementary school in America also could form its own Student Rifle Defense Team. They could teach the second-graders how to shoot, and supply weapons and ammo, just in case. Why put all the responsibility on the teachers?
In the future the requirements for a teaching license will include the CCL and Krav Maga training. After all, overkill isn’t such a bad thing.
I’m sure glad this wasn’t the scenario in first grade,1957, when I scared Mrs Glasscock with my worm-spewing bow tie from my Dennis the Menace Mischief Kit. I may not be here to write this.
What a crock of left winger, talking point, hyperbolic BS. There are zero facts involved with Andy’s little BS fest.
You are a repeating, uncreative joke.
Work harder Comrade, Tom has already hit a RWNJ triple up above in comments
Mark, please look at some of my previous posts here, and realize which side I am on. Who the heck are you, Mark?
It’s Fake “News”, right?
Don’t think it was really meant to be a joke Dadio.
Sad but it’s almost true or will be in the near future.
What is to stop someone with a AR 15 to hide in the bushes and kill when the students board a bus. Nothing, the gun kills when it has the ability to shoot several hundred yards. A knife can’t do that but assault rifles can.
That is actually what happened in Jonesboro, the original mass school shooting a year before Columine. They didn’t even have an AR-15.
Here is excerpt from Wikipedia.
“On the night before the shooting, Golden assisted Johnson in loading his mother’s Dodge Caravan with camping supplies, snack foods, nine weapons (Remington 742 .30-06 rifle, Universal .30 M1 carbine replica, Ruger .44 Magnum rifle, Smith & Wesson .38 revolver, Double Deuce Buddie .22 two-shot derringer, FIE .380 pistol, Star .380 pistol, Ruger Security Six .357 revolver, Davis Industries .38 two-shot derringer, and a Charter Arms .38 revolver),[4] which had been stolen from Golden’s grandfather’s house, and 2000 rounds of ammunition. The following morning, the boys drove in the van to Westside Middle School. As they arrived, Golden pulled the fire alarm while Johnson took the weapons to the woods outside of the school. Golden then ran back to the woods where Johnson had taken the weapons. When children and teachers filed out of the school, the two boys opened fire. The boys killed four female students and one teacher and wounded ten others. Golden and Johnson attempted to run back to the van and escape, but police captured them. The boys evidently planned to run away, as they had food, sleeping bags, and survival gear in their van.”
This is why we need to stop talking about AR-15s and start talking about Ammo and Magazine restrictions, if not better control of all types of firearms.
No, we need better control of youth. Kids are out of control – there is no discipline in the schools anymore; parents don’t have a clue what their kids are doing. They act like the kids should make their own decisions and not be a family anymore. The child welfare people need to take action in cases like this and provide a true foster care situation, or put the kid in a detention center until things can be made right. All of these things did not happen and are not happening in enough communities. Remember Hillary said “It takes a village!” Well, the village failed.
Bull crap! Get in the real world would ya. Sick of people hammering and blaming kids for these tradgities. You ever think the laws that the stupid adults have made have anything to do with it? You elect a fool of a president that has no morals have anything to do with it?
Ann b, I agree the parents need to be held responsible in cases where the child gets a gun from the home where he lives and kills. That gun should be locked up. There are parents out there that should not be raising children. But with that said, I believe that everything should be on the table to get control of this, including ammo restrictions, age restriction, better back round checks, better mental health care and any thing that glorifies a gun. We need to recognize that a gun is a tool made for killing and making that tool more efficient for killing is a big part of the problem.
You mean kids like the Vegas Shooter, the Kalamazoo shooter, the Texas church shooter?
Fred, I read where the Vegas shooter had bought a mess of guns and I understand that some people collect but it seems to me that maybe a law should be made that these type of buyers are looked into. This guy had a bump stock and massive amounts of ammo, the question to ask is why? To me It comes down to limiting the amount of bullets a gun can shoot. Fred, I hate to write this but I think this will be all sugar coated and nothing will be done by this administration that has any meat to it.
Teddy,
You are correct, and none of that is illegal.
Such a law to limit the amount of guns one owns might be a good start, but they only need one. This administration will do nothing meaningful about anything.
Fred, I mean kids and adults. We do have a problem with 17,18,and 19 year olds going back to schools that they went to. As far as the Vegas shooter, should not a back round check alerted the number of guns this guy bought and if not why. I’m saying there is more than one way to try and get this fixed, use them all.
Well I was asking Ann B. if she meant those “kids” too.
I am not aware of any laws that restrict how many guns a person can own, are you? It only takes one gun anyway.
Background checks check criminal history, for which he had none.
Let’s see, the average teacher has to spend over a $1,000.00 per year, out of their pocket for school supplies that schools can’t afford to buy. Trump’s new tax law limits how much of that $1,000.00 they can deduct from their taxes now. Now who is going to have to pay for all these weapons and training for these teachers? Schools can’t afford to buy pencils and paper but they can afford guns and training. Or are the teachers going to have another expense they can’t deduct. The second amendment gives you the right to bear arms, it doesn’t require you to.
All you guys trying so hard to prove your point can’t argue on the facts. You have to put words in peoples’ mouths. Trump did not say to arm all teachers. Also that suggestion was made by a father in the White House meeting that Trump held. It was a very good meeting, and of course the media did not show (replay) the ones who had good ideas they are using in their schools, and the other sensible comments made. They showed only the guy who said he’s pissed and the teen boy who blamed the AR-15, etc. If you have to change what people actually said, and Andy has to write a silly scene to prove his point, then you are not debating intelligently. The truth remains that since the 1960’s we have reduced our morals in the schools. My family all were school teachers and they can tell you how it hurt them not to be able to discipline when needed.
Instead the government demanded that they also teach very liberal sex education in the schools on the premise that that would make kids careful. Well, we know how that turned out. It goes on and on. I repeat what is needed is discipline in the school and home.
You are not debating at all, as you just ignore the rebuttals to your previous points.
Please don’t leave teaching morals up to school teachers, that’s something that should be taught at home. Teachers have enough on their plate.
What I meant by “reducing morals in the schools” is that teachers cannot discipline anymore and have to put up with behaviors that they cannot correct in any way other than to report to principal and/or expel the kid. In my family’s experience teaching, they had kids making out in the classroom openly and distracting every other kid in the room and the teacher is left to essentially put up with it. If they send them out, they are just allowed to come back, because we can’t really get tough about it. I DID NOT say that teachers have to teach morals in the way you are saying.
I am not ignoring the points I made. There WERE some good suggestions by others in the meeting that are being ignored by the media, and they were things done at a local level.
Ann b, I was a school employee and disciplining students went out the window with school of choice. Every child is worth money, so dare not kick them out or make the parents mad, they may move their child to another district, so put up with it and collect the money from the state. Believe me, that is the way it works.
Bingo! Exactly right!
So do you think all you have to do is teach a mentally disturbed child morals and the problem is solved? These aren’t your average kids that do this. There is something very wrong with a person that can kill in that fashion. The parents knew something was wrong and so did a lot of other people. Nothing will be done by Congress. The NRA will see to that.
Jims, your right. Those children need help and this behavior is usually spotted in early years, but we keep these children in the classrooms because the state doesn’t have a safety net for them. It takes money and laws, but like you said nothing will be done. What I like is two senators are pushing for a clean bill for raising the age to buy AR 15s and rifles. Let us see who got bought out, trump administration is already back paddling.
We probably should check into all our second-graders’ backgrounds, and determine which kids actually deserve protection. How did their families vote in the last election? How many guns do their moms own? Do they wear cowboy boots or liberal sandals? We could prioritize our protection dollars.
Try to not reduce this to cute comments. And Fred, the Las Vegas, Kalamazoo and Texas shooters are products of those schools dating back to the 1960’s when we lost all ability to discipline. Just because they were older than these teen killers doesn’t mean that they had different schooling and or parents. All of this is not going to be solved by Washington, because Washington cannot do it. I has to be solved locally and by communities.
So your solution is to reverse 50 years of schooling? You are not making sense. I get it, you blame the person’s upbringing and schooling, but what exactly would you like to do about it? How about restricting access to firearms?
You are really blaming schools for mass shootings? Wow. Amazing.
Surely you aren’t implying that we need to reeducate and re-parent half of the U.S. population who attended school from 1960 to now. According to you, some 200 million people can’t be trusted based on their education and parenting, and they are potential mass murderers. Maybe you can see that the only real solution is to restrict access to those tools of mass murder for everyone? Or maybe you just dug yourself into a hole by blaming “kids” and instead of retracting when you were presented with information that not all shooters were kids, you made the hole even bigger?
Florida GOP votes to spend $67 million on arming and training teachers in the state. That should go over well with the teachers; “You mean you had $67 million to spend on us all this time?” Better luck on that raise next year.
What happens when this doesn’t work? Again, remember the trained police officers who fled in previous shootings? Will they then vote to spend 10 Billion to surround Florida schools with trenches, barbed wire perimeter fences, machine gun nests and watch towers at every corner? Yeah, you can forget about that raise, Florida teachers.
Florida also votes to raise the age to purchase a gun to 21, and to ban sales of bump stocks. Nice start, but hardly a solution, as I can think of only one shooter who used a bump stock and he was way over 21.
It was revealed that the Florida school shooter had Swastikas etched into his magazines.
Another one of Trump’s good people. His words, not mine.
Good post Fred but the NRA owns the Florida legislature. Like Marco Rubio said The NRA buys into his agenda. In turn he owes them. They continue to ignore the main problem. Not sure what he meant, but the idiot in charge said that something needs to be done about guns. I hope he is sincere.