Come Heller high water…
• Along with the rest of the country, celebrities are on board the Flint water train. Cher has given water to Flint. P. Diddy, Eminem and Mark Wahlberg have given water. The Detroit Lions have given water (although they fumbled it first). Even Jimmy Fallon has given water. It’s wonderful. Truly wonderful. Keep it coming, America. But at what point are the state and federal governments going to put a shovel in the damned dirt and start replacing the damned lead pipes that are causing the damned problem in the first place now that the water coming into Flint is now clean? Where’s the urgency for that? That’s what’s baffled me all along. Yes, people need their daily water. That’s not going away. But why can’t we start making a dent in the long term problem as well?
• I don’t agree with Bill Schuette on anything, and haven’t since he was using “Bill Schuette on duty!” for a campaign slogan. But we agree on this: It’s ridiculous, obscene and insulting for anybody in Flint right now to pay for water. That’s like billing someone for sharpening the guillotine, is it not? As for his investigation into how it all happened, my sniffer says that’s more about his impending run for governor than true concern. But momma always said give people the benefit of the doubt first, so … mom, for now, I’m suspending disbelief.
• Jeb Bush finally weighed in on Flint, saying too much government regulation and oversight caused the problem, not too little. That’s gotta be tough to hear when you’re bathing out of an Ice Mountain bottle, then again let’s remember this is a guy who thinks he’s got Trump right where he wants him.
• Why would Trump – with his commanding lead – accept the endorsement of a walking punchline like Tina Fey, er, I mean Sarah Palin? What does he gain from that? He doesn’t need her. No one needs her.
• Wait. What if he makes her … and then he gets elected … and then he croaks on a hairball or something and then he … ohmygod.
• By the way, Jeb also caught grief for mangling the name of President Obama’s daughter Malia in an interview, calling her “Malala.” Malia was cool about it, though, saying, “Don’t worry about it, Jeborah.”
• Random observation about my former industry: Newspapers always hurt themselves when they try to guess what readers want instead of giving them what they really want, which is just good old fashioned past tense news and, um, brilliant commentary. Boom. Decline of industry problem analyzed and solved.
• Florida State University has agreed to pay $950,000 to a woman who said she was raped by star former quarterback (now NFL star) Jameis Winston. In completely unrelated news, the university also announced that books will now cost $10,000 apiece.
• Did lumbersexuals somehow miss the memo that bushy beards are passé?
• Experts at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland last week said the mobile phone of the future will be implanted in your head. I bet I still won’t be able to find the damned thing when it’s ringing.
• And finally, there almost wasn’t a playoff game between the Kansas City Chiefs and New England Patriots last weekend because the refs left the footballs back at the hotel. Tom Brady said, “It wasn’t me. I swear.”
• “Liberation is never of the person, it is always from the person.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj.
Love it!!
Thanks for keeping me, at least, entertained.
Not just you, Katy! 12,000 other people have already visited this website in the last week with more than 600 subscribers so far!
Andy, the stench of the water debacle reaches all the way to SW Florida. Fortunately we only get a whiff and don’t have to taste it.
It seems you put a pumice stone to your pen. I sense a renewed vitality as you write from your new podium. Your life change can be a little liberating in a weird way.
Re; Random observation about my former industry: Newspapers always hurt themselves when they try to guess what readers want instead of giving them what they really want, which is just good old fashioned past tense news and, um, brilliant commentary. Boom. Decline of industry problem analyzed and solved.
So sorry that the print industry is following the demise of broadcasting in general and radio in particular in the last couple of decades. The road to ruin was well paved and easier to see that it was not a mirage on the horizon.
Ha, thanks, Michael. Hope the wind changes direction and carries it elsewhere. I do feel a bit unconstrained!
Jeb Bush sounds just like his brother, Dubya, “you’re doin a good job Brownie,” after Katrina.
I know right? W: “Don’t worry about it, Jeb. Been there, done that.”
Thanks for making me smile –
Thanks, Kim, your note made me smile
So glad to be able to follow you here!! I’ve enjoyed your columns in the Kalamazoo Gazette for years and was upset to see you were leaving. THEN I found this site. Happy, Happy, Happy.
Keep your right on comments coming.
Thanks muchly for coming here, Jane!!!
I agree with your comment about what newspaper readers want these days — good old fashioned news and good columnists (such as yourself). Since the Saginaw News (and MLive) dropped yours, I’m seriously thinking about cancelling, because, basically, all we’re getting lately is “Where is the best place to buy a hamburger..or a pizza … or sushi?”
I will continue to enjoy your views here. Keep up the great work you have done over the years!
Thanks, Gene. But I never advise people to drop the paper – we need strong papers (print and online).
Glad you’re here tho! I plan to write more here than I was allowed to at MLive.
Me too.what she said and more! From Linden, just south of (Sludge City)!
Hey there Andrew!! Sorry to see you leaving the flint journal.Karen ( my wife 36yrs& counting) & two daughters Stefanie (30) & Chelsea (27) have enjoyed your column over the years!! Glad to be able to enjoy more of your online columns here!! Good luck!!- Chris
Thanks, Chris. I actually “left” the Journal as a fulltime staffer back in 09, but have freelanced since. Glad you’re here!
Amazing the newspapers can’t see it. Every column you wrote had 9000 comments yet they choose to go a different way. Mlive conservative advertisers must have got their way. If it wasn’t for the ads I am sure they would fold.
So glad I can still enjoy your writing! Your column was always the first one I looked for in the Saginaw News.
Thanks, Lana!
You were one of the last good reasons to read the Jackson Citizen Patriot. Really.
That makes my day for sure.
Schuette always looks like he’s filming a campaign spot. This investigation will be interesting. I think Rachel Maddow will get to the answers pretty quick. She’s on a crusade.
This is what I miss in newspapers. Investigative reporting. I see less and less. Agree, too many best burger contests and high end restaurant reviews. With the fewer editions, news isn’t new three days after. Glad you’re getting noticed, you deserve it…
Nice to find this in my in-box today. I always read your column. Still confused about the water in Flint and hope we so get answers and a permanent solution soon! Ever listen to NPR…great interview yesterday by the author of a book on Chris Christie…what an eye opener.
Andrew I too found your column to be one of the few I still read in the Kalamazoo Gazette. Not a happy camper when I read Sunday’s paper. I have signed up here and will follow you on Facebook too. Glad you will still be around. Love your writing so keep it coming. And books too? Be still my beating heart!!!
Thanks, Karen. Glad you’re here!
I’m thrilled you have formed this blog! Thought about canceling print addition,but waiting a bit for now.Keep up the great work!
Andrew,
Loved every single word of your Jan. 26th online column. You give me something to grin about, and gosh, it is so good to see thoughts of mine put in word so eloquently. Dammit.
Karen
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I have wondered what, if anything, they will do for the people who have been paying for water they can’t use. Pretty sure no one will be getting 2 years worth of water bill refunded to help off set the cast of all the water they have had to buy in addition to the water they can’t use!
I was watching NBC Nightly News a few minutes ago, and it was reported that the state isn’t planning to replace the pipes. They say the treatment that is now finally being used will eventually coat the pipes, and once they’re safe residents will be notified it’s okay to drink the water. Yeah, right. I don’t think I would trust them with anything. It was also reported that if the service lines that run into people’s homes are replaced, the cost would be about $10,000 each and the residents would be responsible for the cost!!! Why do they have to pay for the negligence of others Mr. Snyder? This is just adding insult to injury.
Wow, I have to see that. WHo would take them at their word?
If you heard a low moaning “NO!!” this past Sunday, it was my reading that you were no longer going to do you column in the Kalamazoo Gazette. The only reason I take the paper (besides hating to read online) is for your column and the crosswords puzzles! I think I’ve only disagreed with you once in the eight years since I retired here (after living overseas for 35 years) and often thought I should write and tell you how stellar you are! Thank goodness you have this blog so I can continue to follow you. My best to you and the formidable Marcia!!
Thanks, Paula, by all means let them know. But I’m loving it here on my website. I can write words like “half-assed” when things are half-assed.
half
As a 36- year journalist (retired Citizen Patriot) I also believe we hastened our own demise when we gave up news to try to cater to the reader. I know there are-were other factors, but I would have liked to put up more of a fight. It is all I can do to keep my subscription .
Hi, Glenn, I saw a lot of bizarro trends in news — young readers will save us, you have to give the product online away for free, no wait – hyperlocal! Hyperlocal!
Glenn,
After more than 40 years as a subscriber to the Grand Rapids Press I just cancelled my subscription. When the customer service rep went through the motions of asking for my reason I said, “I refuse to pay for a product that is little more that journalism by wire service. The paper (and MLive) dumped most of its best writers and photojournalists and, as such, created its own self-fulfilling prophecy.” In actuality I didn’t leave the Press. It left me.
Dave
Okay, I’ve read this three times and I STILL can’t decide which bullet point I like the most.
BOOM!
Ha, thanks.
I am in awe of your ability to get the accent mark over the “e” in passe! How the heck do you do that? Thirty years of journalistic experience, I suppose. Next, please, tell us the story of your departure from Mediocre-Live Dot Com, and make it fun.
I have no idea, Tom. I spell-checked and it had the option! I may try for an umlaut next.
Oh, and there’s no story to the MLive that would surprise anyone. Just money I think.
“Did lumbersexuals somehow miss the memo that bushy beards are passé?”
Love this, first time I’ve heard the term Lumbersexuals. Maybe now that an ex Viking quarterback is starring in a Brazil commercial they’ll catch on to the clean-shaven trend.
I feel like I should be paying a subscription fee of some kind to still be able to hear your take on things.
Nope. I’ll eventually make money on annoying advertising!
You got that teasing hint, right, Louise???
NBC News reports that through December Walmart, Pepsico, Coca-Cola and Nestle’s have donated over 6.5 million bottles of water to the people of Flint. All well and good. But it seems to ignore the unintended landfill consequence of all those plastic bottles. Or will they be shipped to a landfill in Grosse Pointe? Or better yet to a landfill in Snyder’s Ann Arbor backyard?
Young Environmental has put out a call to collect that plastic. Don’t know how much they are actually getting, but they are at least trying to curb the problem from the outset.
I was wondering why you called out state and federal agencies to begin repairing the water delivery infrastructure of the city of Flint? Municipal water delivery is a responsibility of the local government. I know it cost Bay City $4 million to repair, not even replace, a 2 mile section. Flints delivery system would conceivable be hundreds of times larger, and to completely abate the lead would require replacement which would approach billions of dollars.
So shouldn’t the responsibility for funding the upgrades fall onto the Flint taxpayers?
Easy. State broke it, state fixes it. Feds because that’s what we do in the country when a crisis hits.
The city council voted to switch sources to the Flint river, and decades of municipal action put them in the fiscal position of needing to take drastic financial steps. Wouldn’t fully funding an infrastructure replacement to the tune of billions of dollars then be like rewarding terrible management with in relative terms a blank check?
Fiscally responsible towns and cities all across Michigan who have been upgrading infrastructure or building up general fund surpluses with local millages or taxes have been doing it wrong if that’s the case.
I’ve been reading through all the comments from the day I signed up here and I have found one theme that has stood out. Newspapers lack of NEWS. I learned to read from newspapers 60 some years ago and have always been a newspaper junkie. Now it is a disgrace to pick up a paper and find nothing of local value only articles from all the press lines. You are not the only columnist that the Gazetted dropped. I noticed that a lot of others are missing too. Having worked for the Kalamazoo Gazette for almost 29 years as a carrier, and a fan, I learned from the many “in the office” contacts that MONEY was the bottom line. So I guess all the missing columnists have out priced themselves huh?? Well when you drop DAILY delivery to 3 days a week you also lose money because people QUIT. That’s what put me into retirement. The only reason I keep a Sunday only delivery is for the ads and the coupon flyers and even they are getting scarce. Andrew, YOU were worth what ever you charged them and I will stay here and check out your advertisers on the site. Keep your special kind of humor coming!!!
The Saginaw News is walking on thin ice. They lost the most down to earth and humorous column about our local daily lives. Instead we have to see the same pictures of the same worthless criminals over and over…day after day. I find myself constantly going back to the front page to see if I have the right days paper. THE SAME PICTURES, OVER AND OVER! And then they get rid of Andrew Heller. I don’t get it! Get rid of whoever is publishing those 1×1 mug shots day after day.
Hey, let them know! And thanks.
I Love your column. Always have. Always will.
That’s cuz you are super smart and have excellent taste.