Surveyin’ da Situation: You don’t turn into your parents … until you do

I have seen a commercial on the tube quite a few times recently for an insurance company that always makes me smile. The gist of the commercial is a guy’s friends are concerned that their buddy is turning into his dad now that he has bought his own house.

The commercial shows the boys getting ready for a night out on the town and the main character “Tom” has been in planning overload on where to go and what to expect. His buddies simply shrug their shoulders and head out to the spot he researched. When they get to the nightclub, Tom (sporting his Members Only jacket) discovers there is a cover charge and he turns to his buddies and comments just loud enough for the bouncer to hear that the club’s website said nothing about a cover charge.

Once in the club, Tom introduces himself to about every lady in the place and of course, shakes their hands and asks for names as well. He then tries to get his crew up on the dance floor by telling them the “water is fine.” The commercial seems a little extreme poking fun at some of our older folks but I recently was with a group that had a few years on me and I thought I was part of a new commercial.

I recently had to travel a few hours south to a center to have some skin cancer taken care of. The center did a great job and I am told to be cancer free. That is a pretty good feeling and the day-long stay at the center was amusing, to say the least.

The procedure is pretty standard. The doctor removes what they feel is the problem area and then test it. If it is clear, you are free to go, but if they find more, you are back in a room so they can get rid of it. They have a nice waiting room and after getting prepped I was directed there. I found the room to have quite a few folks seated waiting their turn. Many had companions with them and after sitting down with a cup of coffee, I turned my attention to some business on my phone.

It wasn’t long before the group’s attention turned my way. Even though none of the folks know each other before they got there, they were all now fast friends. I guess they wanted to be sure I fell into that group as well. I am usually not very talkative at a doctor’s office especially this one given what I was there for, but they were all pleasant, so I did my best to play along.

I was shown a number of pictures of dogs, grandkids and vacation cabins. I was lectured on local, state and national politics as well as how cell phones and iPads are going to be the destruction of our youth. I did a lot of listening and nodding but was really hoping my first round of removal would be enough and I could exit stage left and head home. Unfortunately, all of the folks there for treatment had to undergo at least 2 rounds and with a few hours in between treatments, there was a lot of time for even more bonding.

I remember a friend who worked in a restaurant in Florida telling me they never put condiments such as sugar or sweet and low packets on the table but brought over a few as they were requested. When I asked him why, he told me most of the packets would come up missing as many folks felt if it was on the table, it was free for the taking. I didn’t really understand that until I saw one of the folks in our group walk over to the snacks that were provided for us to pass the time and take about half of them. “My grandkids like these,” was the explanation and the group nodded understandingly.

It took all day for me to get the green light that I was ok to leave and after a few stitches, I was ready to head out the door. Before I did, I went back to the waiting room to say goodbye to those who were still there. I almost grabbed a granola bar for the 3 hour ride home, but decided against it as there may be other grandkids that have them high on their list.

And that’s the situation as I survey it …

After a 35-year career downstate livin’ amongst da trolls, during which he built a successful engineering and surveying business, John Matonich is back home in da U.P. His column will appear here occasionally, don’tcha know. His book “Surveyin’ Da Situation” is available on Amazon.com.

Image: Via YouTube