Auchtoon: Drink up, one of these people is going to be your next governor

Toon & text by John Auchter

I try never to repeat an idea for a cartoon, but every once in a while I’ll do a variation on a theme. Sixteen years ago, I had a cartoon in the Grand Rapids Business Journal with the gubernatorial candidates for the 2002 primaries. The title was “A Flavor for Everybody!” and the candidates were listed below with their heads drawn as ice cream on top of cones:

• Posthumus Very Vanilla: No artificial or natural color! (Dick Posthumus was the eventual Republican nominee and a very bland guy.)
• Schwarz Swirl: Hard shell with gooey middle! (I have no memory of who this was.)
• Blanchard Rocky Road: With real chips on the shoulder!  (Jim Blanchard was attempting a comeback 12 years after John Engler had defeated him, and he had some issues.)
• Granholm Granola Sorbet: Not sure what’s in it. Don’t worry! It’s good for you! (Jennifer Granholm was running a very clever — and ultimately successful — campaign of being vague.)
• Bonier Donkey Tracks: Twice the size at only three times the price. (A dig at David Bonier and his support for high union wages. It made more sense pre-Great Recession.)

And then at the bottom I had a guy looking into a display case and saying, “Hey! Where’s the Fieger Pistachio Nut Job?” This of course was referring to Geoffrey Fieger who had run an unorthodox campaign (and lost big) four years earlier.

So I brought the idea back around, substituting beer for ice cream. Looking at it now, it makes me wonder — in 16 years, which joke might be as incredibly insensitive as that Fieger one?

John Auchter draws cartoons. Lots and lots of them. You can find them at his incredibly popular website auchtoon.com. You can also find his stuff on Michigan Public Radio’s website under Opinion.