By John Matonich
I was traveling to my shop the other day when I saw a semi stopped alongside the road. The driver was standing outside talking on his cell phone. I slowed down to see if he needed any help, but he said he was set and waved me on. As I headed down the road, I could see what caused him to pull over. One of his tires had come off his rig and passed him on the highway before it ended up on the shoulder.
This driver’s situation reminded me of two things. The first was an old joke using a Kenny Roger’s song: “You picked a fine time to leave me….loose wheel!” Sorry, I couldn’t resist. The second involved a truck stop that I used to frequent after school. I hadn’t thought of that place in a long time, but this trucker’s situation wasn’t a new one for me.
There was a truck stop on the west end of my hometown known as Oscar’s. Oscar was quite the character and from what I had been told he had a very colorful past as did his place of business. I’d stop in for a pop every now and again after high school let out just to get a smile or two from Oscar’s words of wisdom. His old place had been replaced with a new double-wide which had his restaurant in the front and his home in the back.
There is a fair amount of truck traffic on the highway that runs through the town and every time Oscar would see a truck go by without stopping, he would usually throw out some profanity. Something about “F” you and I hope your wheel falls off. It would usually get a chuckle from whoever was in the place and everyone would then go back about their business.
One day while I was there a semi went by and didn’t even slow down. Oscar saw the rig and hollered out his usual profanity about not stopping and hoping a wheel would fall off. About 15 minutes later the door opened up and a trucker came in. That wasn’t unusual given it was a truck stop, but what was unusual was no one heard him pull up. The driver went to the front counter and asked Oscar if he could use his phone. Oscar pushed the phone in his direction and then turned a little white when the driver told him he had just passed his place when suddenly one of his wheels fell off and headed down the highway.
Oscar didn’t say much, but I could see he was in thought. After the driver left, I asked Oscar how he felt about his normal wish for those who didn’t stop. Oscar didn’t miss a beat and said something about it would have been different if the semi would have stopped earlier. That being said, I didn’t hear him throw out his usual profane blast from then on. I guess he did feel a little responsible and really didn’t want to be anymore.
I guess we need to be careful about what we say and when we say it. Oscar is long gone, but I have to wonder of he is listening to any Kenny Rogers tunes wherever he ended up.
And that’s the situation as I survey it …
After a 35-year career downstate amongst da trolls, during which he built a successful engineering and surveying business, John Matonich is back home in da U.P. His column will appear here occasionally, don’tcha know. His book “Surveyin’ Da Situation” is available on Amazon.com.
Image credit: zackzen
Al Kurmas says
John: Wait! Your home town was known as Oscar’s? I’ no English major, but I think you just split an infinitive, or worse, left your participial dangling (shame!), or committed some other dastardly violation. It is my duty to report this to the Language Police forthwith.
John Matonich says
I totally understand, Al. I will accept whatever punishment is forthcoming. Perhaps a mandated refresher 🙂
Jims says
Nice story. Sad that not to many of them old colorful guys aren’t around anymore. Used to learn a lot from them.
Fred says
Yeah. People have gotten soft when it became politically incorrect to be an Oscar. We need more Oscars in the world, they help us develop backbone and tough skin.
John Matonich says
I sure did, Fred. Oscar was a good guy with a big heart.
John Matonich says
I sure did, Jim. Oscar was a good guy with a big heart.
Judith Brooks says
Good column. We all need a few characters in our life now and then.
John Matonich says
I agree, Judith and Oscar was one of those guys…
Tom says
I always have loved that song, but I never heard the, “Loose Wheel,” joke before. Is it really an old joke, or did you come up with it? If you made it up, you deserve full credit.
John Matonich says
I wish I did come up with that, Tom. It was a joke I heard a long time ago about a wheel coming off a truck. It was done by a country singer which shouldn’t surprise anyone. As long as the song has a woman or a truck, it must be a country song…
Tom says
John,
This actually is a pretty spiritual column. Can we actually curse others with our words? Can our words actually doom other people?
Probably not. That would be superstitious. But, do we want to take the risk of dooming somebody else? Do we even want anybody to remember that we cursed them before, when something bad happenslater?
No. We cannot be convicted in court, but we should not even say it. Oscar realized this truth. Our curses are not just theoretical. They reverberate in our reality.
John Matonich says
Yes they do. I guess sometimes the Big Guy upstairs reminds us to be careful…