Come Heller high water …
- I love Labor Day as much as you do. But for the sake of intellectual honesty, I wonder if it’s time to drop it. Labor Day was created to honor workers and labor organizations. But according to a new Pew Report, real wages (meaning purchasing power) are currently at 1974 levels, meaning workers are only, oh, nearly four decades behind the times. That doesn’t sound like we’re putting our money where our mouths are. Instead, it sounds just like the hollow praise we heap on teachers, military and first responders: “We love you … but, uh, you’re not getting any more money.” I still want my end of summer day off, however, so how about if we change Labor Day to 1% Day in honor of those who have contributed so mightily to the tradition of treating workers like dirt?
- By the way, not only have wages stayed flat over the past 40 years, corporate America has also killed off pensions and is zeroing in on employer-provided health insurance, too. Happy 1% Percent Day everybody!
- Yeah, I know, I can be such a downer sometimes.
- A Ferrari 250 GTO sold at auction last week for a record $48.4 million. Sounds like a lousy deal to me. My 2011 Prius does everything the Ferrari does, plus it gets more miles per gallon and has a CD player that very often works.
- The U.S. Apple Association says the gala apple is now the most popular apple in the U.S., supplanting long-time favorite, the Red Delicious. It’s about time. The Red Delicious is a flavorless potato with slightly higher sugar content.
- Apples are one of the best examples of how much the farming, grocery and transportation industries have improved since I was a kid. (Hold on while I put on my old guy baseball cap and overalls): “Why, back in MY day, the only apples you could git were Red Delicious and Granny Smiths, and they were so old half the time you took one bite and threw them out. And we liked it.”
- This might be one of the first years in memory where all of the Detroit pro sports teams are awful at the same time.
- I love that we’re banning straws but not assault weapons. Sometimes I don’t think we understand how truly odd we are as a people and as a nation.
- And for the record, I’m for banning straws. The germophobe in me is going to freak out, though, when I have to put my lips on restaurant glasses. If they’re smart, they’ll put something on the menu saying, “We use 5,000-degree water and lots of soap in our dishwashers.”
- IBM has invented a coffee-delivering drone that can predict when you need a cup. And with that, we have now reached the high point of mankind. Seriously. This is it. This can’t be topped. Unless someone comes up with a bagel and cream cheese delivery drone to go along with it.
- What possesses anyone to spend $3,000 on a Peloton bike? It’s a bike that doesn’t go anywhere. And it also costs, like, $40 a month to have spin coaches in New York yell at you through a video screen. That’s ridiculous. Tell you what, if you pay me $40, I’ll come to your house and yell at you and tell you you’re fat. Deal?
- Have you tried watching movies on cable recently? There are more commercials than movies. No wonder so many people are cutting the cord.
- “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Image credit: Adam Sherez on Unsplash
Fred says
I can find the straw ban only in California. They already have the strictest gun laws, so this makes California two steps ahead of the rest of America.
If this straw ban catches on, I see a business opportunity in replacing them with reeds. I think I will start a reed farm, Then maybe I will be able to appreciate 1% Day more.
bookieb says
Where are you finding these movies on cable? I have DirectTV and there are almost no movies. They want me to pay for their moldy, oldie movie collection.
Andrew Heller says
Actually, I do, too. I guess I was including them as cable. There are only a few movies on a few scattered channels, and they have so many commmercials as to be unwatchable. And for some reason, one of the channels ALWAYS shows Transformers. Good thing Megan Fox is in it.
Linda Ann says
You rock in your old guy baseball cap and overalls! The expression on your face and the “old guy” voice wraps up the whole package!
In spite of whether we work or not, whether we get paid well or not, whether we enjoy our work or not, and how the corporations continue to make more money taking away from the workers, have a happy Labor Day!
Cal Lamoreaux says
Assault guns have been banned for many years. But, I suppose, anybody can CALL anything an assault gun. I could CALL a plastic straw an assault straw. I prefer paper straws.
Fred says
“Assault guns” have never need banned. Fully automatic firearms have been banned. The definition of “assault gun” is not fully automatic firearm. Assault weapon is a media term given to any scary looking semi-automatic firearm that visually resembles a military weapon. The term is misleading and unproductive. A traditional looking deer rifle will be just as deadly and can be fed by a high-capacity magazine. That is where we need to pull our heads out of asses and stop crying about what the weapon looks like, and start addressing what it can do. 50 round drum magazines are available for little 9mm Glock 26s. Address the hi-cap magazine issue and lives will be saved.
Fred says
Here is a video for some more emphasis. It’s only 58 seconds long. Watch how he gets almost machine gun like rapid fire out of his little Glock 26 handgun.
9mm is the round most commonly used by law enforcement today. The .40 caliber used to be their preferred round, until the 9mm was shown to have equal stopping power, but less recoil and more accuracy. So don’t let anyone tell you the 9mm isn’t deadly enough to make a stink about.
These 50 round drum magazines should be banned and 6 round magazines should be the max allowed by law. A round is a bullet, for those of you who aren’t sure. A 50 round drum magazine holds 50 bullets.
Be informed, so we can make informed arguments to save lives.
This message is to everyone who is tired of seeing innocent people gunned down while trying to live their lives.
https://youtu.be/ekG6gqmMWeI
teddyluba says
Totally agree Fred. The people that want that fire power will say they need it to protect themselves in case of a civil war. How you try to talk common sense to that is the problem.
Fred says
We can’t reason with unreasonable people. When we engage them, it is not about changing their mind. It is about exposing their irrational positions, willful ignorance and most of all – their cowardice, so that those who are still on the fence will see them for what they are and feel discouraged about joining their club.
Oldugly says
No Fred, a “Bullet” is only part of the round. A “round” consists of a casing, propellant (gun powder), a primer, and the bullet. Limiting magazine capacity to only 6 rounds would be very hard to do given that there are many rifles and pistols that use ten or more rounds in the original design of the piece. There are a lot of pieces out there from the ’50s and ’60s that used ten round magazines. Didn’t seem to be a problem then.
Fred says
I don’t care if it wasn’t a problem in the 50s and 60s. It’s a problem now.
There are lots of magazine already out there over 6 rounds.
I am suggesting outlawing sales of magazines over 6 rounds going forward. And while we are at it, outlaw sales of firearms designed to hold over 6 rounds in the tube. Great idea.
Andrew Heller says
Why do gun owners lord technical knowledge over people when it comes to gun control. What effing difference does it make if there are “many” assault weapons and who gives a blank if a bullet is a cartridge is a wad. I guarantee if one of your loved one’s was slaughtered, you wouldn’t give a damn.
Jims says
They feel the need to correct you. They want to make you feel like you don’t know what you are talking about.
Fred says
Oldugly is correct. There are already millions of high-capacity magazines and guns designed to hold lots of rounds in the tube out there. Magazine restrictions may appear pointless when we consider that. But, I believe the first step to addressing any problem is to stop adding to it.
If we first outlaw all sales (including private sales) of hi-cap mags and guns that hold more than 6 rounds, we have stopped adding to the problem and can now redirect our attention to how to address the already existing guns and magazines.
Progress is made in small gains towards the goal line. However in this case, I believe hi-cap magazine bans would make a significant difference. When you look at most mass shootings in America over the last 20 years, you will see that the shooter recently purchased their gun and magazines.
The more times a shooter has to pause to reload, the more opportunities there are to flee, or tackle him. There are so many other steps we need to take to really get control of our gun violence problem. This is just the starting point, that serves as an effective action that can save lives and a fair compromise with the die-hard gun community. We are not asking them to give up their guns. We are just limiting how many rounds can be sprayed out of it per minute.
Those who deflect to discussing technical aspects of guns are doing so to avoid discussing the problem. My theory is that on a subconscious level, they are ashamed of their stubbornness and refusal to accept change in the face of conflicting evidence. So they convince themselves that there isn’t a problem that needs changing. Sometimes it’s hard to accept our own weaknesses, so we divert attention from them. Unfortunately, when we protect our own pride, we become part of the problem.
I would love to see some discussion of ideas, even bad ideas. As long as we are talking about ideas with the intentions of acting on them, we are part of the solution.
Adam says
Wellllll… I think telly was actually responding to fred’s rather detailed and technical statements with a technical detail.
Why do opinion owners lord complaints about the actions of people they disagree with, but “don’t notice” the equivalent or more severe actions of those they agree with?
Please stop being part of the problem.
Adam says
Sorry, lost track of the thread, Oldugly was responding to fred with a technical detail, not telly.
Fred says
Adam,
I pointed out the technicalities of the 9mm, because the pro gun-control community is too hyper-focused on “assault rifles”, like the AR-15. We must understand that most types of firearms are potential tools for mass-murder, even little 9mm handguns. This is largely due to the high capacity magazines available, not the gun itself.
In my pointing that out, I did not take anything away from the topic. That is the difference between using technical information to support a position and using it to steer the conversation in a different direction to avoid talking about the matter at hand. I trust you won’t do that.
Adam says
Oh I know, and I didn’t object or disagree with your comment, I just pointed out that oldugly was making a technical comment in response to technical comments by you, but only one of you two drew derision for being technical.
Partisan based sniping is how we got to the point we’re at, and I ask that considerate people not be part of the problem.
MA says
Some parts of Fla. have banned plastic straws & have gone to paper straws. They are OK for a short period of time, but start to disintegrate if in liquid too long. Sort of gross.
Suzee H says
Great column! The apple part is my favorite! Love how you describe the Red Delicious… 🙂 I am amazed that I used to really like them… So boring now! LOL Give me a Honey Crisp or a Jazz apple these days, YUM!! It is really sad how Labor Day has turned into another commercialized “holiday” where we are bombarded with ads about the “Labor Day Sale” from just about every store around here! Makes me sick. Don’t even get me started with what has happened to the Christmas Season… so wrong on so many levels, thanks to the Retailers… We will probably start hearing Christmas songs in the next 30-40 days… Aack!!
Jake says
Why do we need straws anyway? You don’t get a straw for your cup of coffee or glass of beer and they come out of the same dishwasher as your glass of water.
What professional Detroit sports team will compete. let alone win a championship first? They all are pretty equally lousy.
Sally Dikos says
Love your columns Andy but you certainly got more information than you/we needed on guns!
Wondering how long it will take a company to come out with straws that what? evaporate? self destruct? dissolve? Just not holding my breath!
Just for your “apple file”, McIntosh is my favorite.
Smiles, Sal