Come Heller high water …
- End, winter. Just end.
- Seriously, I have a bad, bad case of cabin fever, which is odd because I have neither a cabin or a temperature.
- This is the time of year when I wonder what the original settlers of Michigan saw in the place. Who would think, “Six months of winter, three months of clouds and rain, and three pretty nice months – yeah, I can live with that”?
- At his White House meeting with high school survivors of the Parkland, Florida, slaughter, the Associated Press snapped a photo of the notes Trump had in his hand. It said (no kidding) “What would you want me to know about your experience?” “What can we do to help you feel safe” and “I hear you.” In other words, he had empathy crib notes. I’ll repeat that a different way for emphasis: The man required notes – written by someone else, no doubt – to remind him how to be comforting to people who just witnessed 17 of their friends and teachers being gunned down. Good god.
- You (if you’re extremely empathetic yourself, or a conservative): “But at least he’s tryyyying!” (It’s better if you say that in your head with a 4-year-old’s whine.) Sure. Yes. I’ll give you that. But is it really trying when your first act as president after a slaughter is to never once say the word gun, and to regurgitate the NRA talking point that “it’s a mental health problem, not a gun problem”? Is that really being the leader of the entire country? And is it presidential to then – after it’s clear that people are a little bit more cheesed off than after the last 48 slaughters – propose the weakest possible solution, the elimination of bump stocks, which turn bad weapons into really bad weapons? Is that presidential, especially when (if the analysts are correct) that you don’t even have the authority to ban them anyway, and thus what you did was nothing more than a PR stunt? And, yes, he’s proposed strengthening background checks. Which is great. But he could also have proposed building an ice cream stand on the sun because he doesn’t have the power to strengthen background checks either. That’s Congress, too, and if you think a Tea Party-controlled Congress (there is no more Republican Party) is going to rebel against their NRA masters, I’ve got some Bitcoin futures I want to sell you.
- Best story of the week was the one about the family of the man who invented the AR-15. The family said: “Our father, Eugene Stoner, designed the AR-15 and subsequent M-16 as a military weapon to give our soldiers an advantage over the AK-47. He died long before any mass shootings occurred. But, we do think he would have been horrified and sickened as anyone, if not more by these events.” So the next time one of your dopey conservative friends pulls the “but it’s not an assault weapon” dodge, hit ‘em with that. It is an assault weapon. It was designed for the military. Case closed. Now shut up.
- The University of Michigan announced this week they’re no longer going to start meetings and classes 10 minutes late, or as the tradition is known on campus “Michigan time.” They did that? Man, if I’m a parent paying for tuition in recent years, I’d be asking for a refund for whatever 10 minutes of class time times the number of classes my kid took over the years comes to, I’ll tell you that.
- I thought I was gonna watch a lot of the Winter Olympics this time, but I didn’t. Seen one ski jump, seen ’em all. Seen one ice skater beat another skater’s time by .005, seen ’em all. Seen one figure skater or half-piper do tricks that all look exactly the same except to the announcers, who are either unaccountably breathless (“Oh, look at the form on that 3/4 Norwegian goonie bird!”) or abnormally disappointed (“Oh my, her skate clearly landed 1/4 inch off center – that’s going to really cost her with the judges”), you’ve most definitely seen ’em all. I think I’m back to agreeing with those who say if it doesn’t have a ball, a head to head score or a goal line, it ain’t a sport.
- A Russian curler failed a drug test at the Winter Olympics. Uh … why? Have you seen curling? The most athletic thing they do is a little light housekeeping. (See the quote at the end of the column.)
- Consumers Energy announced it’s going to stop using coal plants by 2040. Which I don’t get. Coal is clean, beautiful and the energy of the future, as President Nutjob told us during the election.
- One of the stranger things about getting older is you have the sense that everything – things you’ve done, things that have happened to the world – happened just yesterday. Then you realize, “Crap, that was 10 years ago.” It sucks being a fossil.
- I had a visceral negative reaction to Taco Bell’s new cheese fry commercial. Not because of the commercial itself so much. But I do object to the heresy of putting cheese on French fries. That’s flat-out heresy.
- “Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.” – Charles Barkley.
Image credit: Jim Sorbie
Paula says
Our hope is with these articulate young people since the adults can’t seem to get anything done. God bless them!!!
Brad says
Are we discussing those reading scripted copy from CNN, or those posting videos of themselves eating Tide pods?
Andrew Heller says
Exactly. Worked in teh 60s
Mauricette says
Good 😊 . Could agree more. Like your page.
Cannot wait for Wednesday to read Andrew Heller.
Andrew Heller says
Thank you so much Mauricette!
Suze says
Love the Barkley quote. After Fergie’s torch song version of the national anthem he said “I think I need a cigarette!”
Florida shooter legally bought an AR-15 but couldn’t legally buy a beer. Maybe if Florida legislators won’t consider review of state gun laws they’ll lower the drinking age. Why not…think they can’t handle it or it might affect their development?
And the disgusting trash talk about the kids who’ve spoken out. Their tears and words are real. They’ve walked thru friends blood and seen a gun barrel pointed at them.
Jims says
So with trumps response nothing will change because the NRA owns him. I watched the fool today and as one person was addressing him he’s looking over at something else like he didn’t really even care, which I don’t think he does anyway. Just a PR stunt
Uncle Bob says
Please note, Mr. Heller, that there’s at least one Canuck who reads and appreciates your thoughtful wit. I was turned on to you by a local fan of yours…local to you, not me. Let’s just call him, U.P. John.
I agree about having had enough of this winter. And, I’ve had enough of another of your subject matters too, but at least time will eventually take care of him. May we look back on these days as just an old nightmare, some day soon.
Regards from ‘south’ of you. 😉
Jennifer Merciez says
Ban the AR-15. It’s the only sensible way to begin to solve the mass shooting problem we have in the USA. And, it’s a mental health problem? What a colossal joke. Funding for mental health care is being chipped away and has been for many years. Layoffs of mental health workers, program closures, look at the mental health care system across the state of Michigan! Maybe the NRA could step in and fund adequate mental health programs. They seem to have an awful lot of money to spread around.
jbcsfl says
Our founding fathers are rolling in their graves.
Jennifer says
My uncle was a champion curler. You might consider giving it a whirl before you dis it; perhaps a yawn to watch but more difficult to do than most observers would imagine. Also, this has been an easy winter for TC so far. Farmers who pay attention to things like the height of goldenrod tell me to expect a giant, GIANT dump in March. I’m ready. Something that has really helped my attitude and outlook this winter has been regular strength training with a local trainer. If you’d like a recommendation, I can offer a couple. I agree with you that crib sheets for empathy is a dismal thing, but who in their right mind ever expected better than empathy crib sheets from the asshat in the Oval?
Andrew Heller says
I would love to curl, seriously.
Teddy Luba says
Andy, always enjoy reading your thoughts. Trumpster wants to increase security in schools with armed guards. Who is going to pay for this? I got an idea, slap extra taxes on the sale of guns and ammo, as much as it takes for added security. Pay to play for gun owners.
Andrew Heller says
Trump should arm himself too if he’s going to arm teachers. That way he can protect himself and we can get rid of the Secret Service and use that money to pay for guns for teachers. Perfect world.
Working Dad says
President Trump has been a concealed carry holder for decades.
Jims says
Maybe he should stand guard at a school somewhere. He might be good at something.
Teddy Luba says
See, anybody can pass a concealed weapons test. That’s what so scary.
Jim III says
If I remember correctly Andy in the past you opined that the month of March was a waste of nothingness. That somehow it should be done away with. IF you are in a funk about winter
and it is only February, what are you going to be like when March gets here?
It is time for you liberals to understand that those who have mental health issues at one time
were taken care of in the appropriate institutions. Then in the 1960’s liberals came along and made the case that it was cruel and inhumane to lock people up for just being mentally ill.
Therefore the mentally ill were released from said institutions and allowed to roam the streets.
The liberals claimed that those who needed the medications to control their behavior would self
medicate. Now some of those that needed medication did take their medications, however, far
too many did not. As one doctor told me a few years ago some of those who needed the medications took them, then when reality hit them, they stopped taking them. They would go downhill, cause some trouble get put in the psych ward, get back on the meds. Be released back to the streets. Stay on their meds for a while , cannot handle reality and stop taking their meds. Just one constant loop.
It is a mental health issue when it comes to these mass shooters. Lots of warning signs sometimes.
But due to hippa laws and other legal issues sometimes nothing gets done until it is too late.
One legislator opined that 18 year olds should not be allowed to buy guns. That they should be at least 21 in order to buy guns. That in and of itself is somewhat an iffy solution.
Fred says
Speaking from experience, are you?
Jim III says
Fred as usual you cannot articulate a good response. The only thing that you are good at, like at lot of liberals, is smearing someones character, calling them names, make fun of them and ridicule them. Liberals are like the Borg, one mindset, no free will and dissent will not be tolerated. Either you toe and obey the party line or it will be off to the
reeducation/concentration camps.
Constantly blaming the tool and not the person causing the carnage shows a lack of understanding the way life works. No Gun, knife other item used to kill and maim cannot
get up by itself and harm another person.
Liberals are way off in the land of delusion if they think that getting rid of guns will solve all gun problems. It will not. If anything it will make things worse. What would happen is that the guns would only be taken from those who have registered guns. The gang bangers and such would still have their guns.
Liberals and other such will persecute the innocent and protect the guilty and let them go.
Jims says
The problem jim3 is you have to attack liberals and nobody that agrees with you. No one wants to take your guns. Problem is the mentally ill that can get guns. Time to change that. As I said before, I own lots of guns. I am not anti gun, and you know what I am a democrat. Like Fred said limit magazines and limit who can buy or sell anAR15 or any assault rifle. Time has come where action needs to taken. You have to agree with me on that.
Teddy Luba says
This all started with the sale of assault style guns, so it is hard to say that it’s not the guns fault. This gun is made for mass killings, and mentally ill view it so.
Limit the amount of bullets it’s able to shoot and some of that glimmer will loose it shine.
Fred says
Well I thought it was a great response.
Jims says
Haha.👍
Fred says
I agree, that is an iffy solution. Many of these shooters are well over 21. That is actually no solution.
Start with magazine restrictions.
Teddy Luba says
Right on, Fred!!!!
Andrew Heller says
I agree let’s go after ammo. And eliminate magazines. Magazines are for war, not hunting or self protection.
Suze says
As a nurse, I do know what your meaning of loop is for some patients. Some do behave as you said. But I have to expand on the dismantling of mental health facilities.
In the ‘90s Gov Engler combined public health and mental health probably as cost cutting measure. James Haveman, a Republican and a good man in the social, health services field was charged with changes and our facilities in Michigan went from 16 to 10.
I feel this might have been to much reliance on medication solution without any means of oversight. It cut taxes but at some high costs societally …
It’s walking a tightrope deciding competency. And I think of the police officers killed while responding to domestic violence calls. Nobody saw many of these shooters as disturbed..until they were.
Teddy Luba says
So well written and true. The mind is not something that’s hard to judge.
Teddy Luba says
Sorry, I meant to type, the mind is something that’s hard to judge.
Andrew Heller says
Excellent post Suze
Mark says
Just so you know, mental facilities were closed DURING the John Engler years. Sure enough, the mentally ill were housed in prison and did not and still don’t receive adequate medical attention. Your assertion that “liberals ” wanted to release them from mental hospitals is bunk
Andrew Heller says
I’m going to crawl up into a fetal position when March arrives, that’s what.
Vicki says
Andy.. you always seem to read my mind. Great post!
Andrew Heller says
Vicki, that’s not a good thing since if you listen to the gun nuts I’m insane.
Uncle Bob says
Apparently Andy can’t read my mind. My comment from last evening still isn’t up. LOL.
Andrew Heller says
Sorry, Bob, I didn’t check in last night. Thanks for the kind words. And for reading! (No small thing these days. )
Jims says
Never had the Taco Bell cheese fries, but you have to love chilie cheese fries? Putting gravy on French Fries is total heresy!
Andrew Heller says
NOOOO! I’m rigid on food. Some things go together. Fries and cheese do not. Shame on you.
Jims says
I know ketchup on fries just like pasties!
Linda Ann says
Great column this week! And a great post from Suze! Mr. Engler indeed got this ball rolling. I often see people walking in shabby clothes and looking lost. Some people are sadly poor, but some are those who would benefit from the care that can be given in an assisted living or rehab type of setting to help families who cannot care for these loved ones. They must have families somewhere, right?
I think we need to be much more considerate when speaking of the mentally ill. We get the picture of Nicholas Cruz, Eric Harris and Dillon Klebold, and hundreds of other killers branded as mentally ill. But not all those with mental illness are potential killers. We were finally getting people to learn that mental illness is very real. Depression and bipolar should not have the stigma that they do, and now we are stepping backward again when we speak of the mentally ill in this manner of being potential killers. People from all walks of life can suffer with depression: rich and poor, young and old, brilliant and those getting by.
I believe that all assault weapons should be destroyed. Does anyone on earth even have a need for weapons like that? Get them out of stores, shows and the dealers’ stash. Anyone who sells these should be equally responsible for any crimes committed with the guns they sell.
Tom says
Legislature Votes to Make English Michigan’s Official Language
E pluribus unum. Tuebor. Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam, circumspice. AD MDCCCXXXV.
Uncle Bob says
Did they clearly define it? Which English? The Queen’s English? American English? Pigeon English?
😉
Teddy Luba says
Well I read it’s Trumps English. Mighty bigly of them.
Uncle Bob says
Trump’s English? Will translations be available?
Teddy Luba says
Need to go to a redneck bar, have a few beers and the patrons will do the ceiferen for you. It will all make sense then.
Tom says
The next thing they need to do is vote on an Official Accent. Here in West Michigan, we speak somewhat differently from white folks in Detroit. There is a U.P. Accent, and a more intense U.P. Finlander Accent. There is an African American Michigan Accent, too. Which one will the Michigan Legislature bless, in its infinite wisdom?
And, Official Michigan Bad Grammar? Will they make it illegal even to understand the difference between LAY and LIE? (This is NOT a Trump joke. Trump LIES all the time, and he apparently gets LAID all the time, but that is not my point.)
Tom says
We will need to change Detroit to “The Passage,” or some such. Sault Ste. Marie will need translation into English. AND! MICHIGAN is a Native American word. What the heck does it mean in English?
Not also, please note that these legislators mostly cannot even speak English. They need to look at the subtitles when they watch movies with actors who have English accents.
Fred says
Now even the left is blaming the lone deputy who was at the school. We are missing the point. Even this trained police officer knew he was no match for that rifle. Isn’t it standard police protocol to wait for backup and not just rush into a certain death? If we ever need more proof that arming teachers isn’t the answer, this is it.
Let’s keep our eye on the ball. That cop couldn’t had stopped this by himself anymore than the security guard at the Pulse Nightclub could. All you can do with a Glock 22 .40 against an AR-15 spraying lead from 30rd magazines, is take cover and wait for backup. That is how the military is trained, and that is how the police are trained. Nobody is trained to be a hero and take unneccessary risks that might put more lives in danger.
I am very disappointed. Making this cop a scapegoat for doing what he is trained to do is very Trumplike and nonconstructive. No sheriff or commanding officer would order one of their own to fight the battle alone. Police officers don’t sign up for suicide missions, and it’s not this deputy’s fault that’s just the kind of mission engaging this shooter would had been.
Uncle Bob says
But Drumpf and the NRA want your kind old kindergarten teacher to be packin’ heat so she can take on an AR-15. Anyone see anything wrong with this picture?
NativeOfMichigan says
Speaking of french fries, it reminded me of my trip to Montreal in 1976 when I attended the Olympic Games. I quickly learned about the vinegar on the french fries!
Tom says
Holy Snots, Fred! I am pretty sure I blame that cop. I do not know all the details. How much did the cop know? Did he even know there was a real murderer inside? But! He should have charged in. Would you not have charged in? I like to believe I would have.
Fred says
I like to think I would had, but that’s not the point.
So you want to put the blame on the cop? If he had changed in and ended up among the dead, who would you blame then?
Tom says
He would have been a hero if he had gone in, even if he had no encounter with the murderer.
Fred says
Why does he need to be a hero?
Even the SWAT team doesn’t just charge in. They first evaluate the situation. Then decide on the best course of action and best entrances, before slowly and carefully entering and clearing each room one by one. Their first mission is to protect themselves and make sure they get home to their families. I doubt this deputy had SWAT training, so why should he be expected to do more?
The police are in trouble for not acting on tips. They need a scapegoat. This deputy is the fall guy. Remember 20 years ago a cop engaged the Columbine shooters. They didn’t even have AR15s, but he was still no match for them. He was wounded and had to flee, leaving them to continue their carnage. Cops are not trained to be heroes. They trained to stay alive.
Uncle Bob says
The “heroes” phenomenon stems from all those western TV shows in our youth; you know, the ones where off in the distance you could hear the cavalry bugle as the military rode in to save the settlers from attacking “redskins”. Then, it was super-heroes, beginning with Superman, swooping in to save the day. No matter how bad things got, a hero would appear to fix it all.
Lately, every new TV show revolves around first responder “heroes” (fire, police, hospital, etc.).
The mindset behind all this is that no matter how we function (or dysfunction) as a society, all we need are some heroes to swoop in and fix everything. But, seriously folks, first responders are flawed people like the rest of us. And the constant glorification of heroes can also be a technique to keep us from talking about boring things like root causes, and real fixes.
The fault in all of this has been society’s inability to prioritize that which “really” matters. The decades-long kowtowing to the likes of the NRA, for their “hobby”, ensures the need for a continuing supply of “heroes”.
A mature society would ask itself, what can be done to lessen the need for heroes, rather than permitting these ridiculous situations to keep developing. You’ve all heard the old axiom, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results”.
Once again, America finds itself at a crossroads. Will America choose to keeping doing the same old thing (while expecting heroes to magically save the day), or will America FINALLY take the necessary steps to stop the carnage? I’m pessimistic. If shooting all those 1st graders in the face, at Sandy Hook 5 years ago, wasn’t enough to move the needle, god knows what it will take.
Andrew Heller says
Right on. The cowboy myth is powerful worldwide, honestly, and continues to be long after westerns have faded. You’re right that we’re built on a hero culture.
Tom says
Moving on to a lighter part of Andrew’s post. The part about Cabin Fever, and about looking at the Olympics on TV…
Tonight, I got fed up with the Olympics on TV, so I tuned into Jimmy Kimmel, on a different channel. His first guest was a skinny young woman who has been nominated for an Academy Award. My complaint involves her appearance. From a distance, she looked okay: Nice dark dress, nice smooth pale skin. But, when the camera focused in on her, it was apparent that:
1. She had bright bleached blonde hair with obvious dark roots, not attended-to recently;
2. She had bushy dark eyebrows ala Groucho Marx, to match her dark hair roots;
3. She had not bothered to wash her hair, nor even to comb it, before she went on TV;
Who would do that? If you went on a big-time network talk show, would you not get a haircut first, and take a shower and groom yourself?
I am not complaining about her looks or her beauty. I hated her hygiene, and her disrespect for her audience.
And, what she said to Jimmy Kimmel did not make up for it. She nattered. Silly personal stories about nothing.
This is what we run into, late in February, when the Olympics are not enough.
Fred says
If she is a method actress, chances are she was in character for whatever role she is currently filming. Some of them refuse to be distracted from the character they worked so hard to perfect until the filming is done. That’s why they get the big bucks. Tom Cruise is said to not had bathed for a month when shooting Far and Away. His networth is something like $750 million now. Totally worth it.
I usually don’t watch more than the monologue on late night shows myself. Do you have netflix? I can recommed some good series and movies.
Andrew Heller says
OK, now I want to see this clip.
Working Dad says
One of the best possible cures for cabin fever is a day at the gun range. Outdoors or indoors, squeezing off some rounds with friends makes it a great day. Cap it off with some nice post range food at your restaurant of choice.
A great recipe for eliminating cabin fever!
Fred says
Have you seen the statistics on the number of domestic disputes that end with someone murdered in the winter? Put your gun’s away until spring.
Working Dad says
I guess my world of no domestic disputes is not the same as everyone else. I am going to the range tomorrow!
Fred says
Whatever you say, Hoss.
Working Dad says
It was an awesome day at the gun range. I had a good placement day. Finished second out of seven participants on the 15 yard pistol shoot.
Cabin fever eliminated!
Jims says
I watched the Woman’s semi finals in curling yesterday. Japan versus South Korea. Didn’t understand a thing about the game, but it went into extra ends! Like extra innings I guess. South Korea won and will now play for the gold medal.Pretty exciting even though I didn’t have a clue of what was going on. Same way with the different languages. I need to get out of the house after that.
Fred says
I was watching that one too with my brother. It was more exciting than watching golf.
Jim III says
Here are some interesting facts about campaign contributions:
Between 2010 through 2018 the NRA has donated $111 million to political contributions to federal candidates. It put the NRA in ninth place of donating groups.
Leading the liberals groups and ranking first overall among the top 2016 spenders was the Priorities USA super PAC founded by Bill Burton and Sean Sweeney, former aides to obama. The priorities USA supported democratic nominee hilliary clinton and spent $133,407,972 in 2016 contributions.
2nd in the top 10 was another liberal PAC, the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC), which spent $103,776,930. They only supported democratic incumbents and challengers for U.S, Senate seats.
4th in the top 10 and third among the 4 biggest-spending liberal PAC’s was the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC), which backs democratic incumbents and challengers in the U.S. House of Representatives. The DCCC spent $80,378315.
6th in top ten and 4th among liberal PAC’s was the Senate Majority PAC, which spent $75,413,426 including nearly $64 million specifically against Republican candidates.
The NRA’s $54,000,000 in the 2016 campaign donations puts in the 9th spot among the top 10.
On the lobbying side of groups seeking to influence Washington policy-making the NRA is not even in the top 20 spenders, according opensecrets.org . The top lobbying groups represent
business, labor and corporate interests.
As cnbc.com senior columnist Jake Novak wrote shortly after the Florida shooting, “it usually
takes seconds after a mass shooting for a chorus of people to begin blaming the NRA for allowing these atrocities to happen.”
“You know the argument goes. The ‘conventional wisdom’ is the NRA’s hevy spending stops hundreds of politicians from enacting the “the common sense” gun control laws they and everyone else would support….
Ther is only one thing wrong with that theory. It is all wrong.”
Mark Tapscott at LifeZettte. mark.tapscott@lifezette.com
Jims says
And the great quote by Marco Rubio. The NRA BUYS into my agenda. I sold out should be more like it.
Uncle Bob says
The greatest talent that the NRA has is getting itself twisted up into pretzels.
First it was themselves finding fault at the NRA for not introducing children to guns, much sooner. Makes sense to me. More guns at a younger age means more income for years tom come.
Next it was disgust with not being able to conceal carry in some states. Then along came questions about high capacity magazines and age of eligibility.
Oh, and let’s not forget overwhelming firepower when confronting first responders. Arms the teachers. Arm the janitors, Hell, let’s arm the FedEx drive or the lunh pizze delivery guide. Would make a real shootout at the OKNM Corral, wouldn’t it?
The poorly educated receive some prurient interest in packing a pistol, or even more with military assault weapons. Who doesn’t want to be the guy swagging the widow-makers? Big man on campus!!!
Grow up, America. You’re sinking into a cesspool of ever increasing violence. The answer is passing and ENFORCING the appropriate laws.
It;s not that hard. It just requires people who can think beyond their own narrow personal interest and desires in favour of the greater public good.
Jim III says
We have over 20,000 laws on gun control on the book now.
We have laws enacted against murder, rape, arson, robbery and a whole longer list of things that are illegal. In all these cases the lawbreakers do not worry about what laws they are breaking.
There are laws against distributing and buying illicit narcotics and we still have drug dealers and users in every part of America.
More laws mean nothing. People are going to break laws.
The legal age for drinking in Michigan is 21. There are those over 21 who will buy alcohol for those not of a legal age.
Gun background checks are used to verify if someone can legally buy a gun or not.
When a background check comes back with a person having a record that says that they cannot purchase a gun for some felony or something, they are denied the gun purchase. In those cases the gun dealer has to turn that person’s name over to the local and federal authorities for prosecution. So far the record for filing charges against those individuals is not good. I think that the prosecution rate is below 5% or so.
So more laws do not deter the criminal. It only hampers the law abiding citizen.
Fred says
Show me the law that says trying to purchase a gun from a dealer is a prosecutable crime, and that the dealer is required to report them after running a federal background check that would had sent them a red flag on that person anyway.
Almost none of our mass shooters had any kind of criminal record. So tell me what good are background checks in those circumstances?
Uncle Bob says
Well, Jim III has convinced me of the error of my ways. Laws are the enemy.
After all, there’s a law against theft, but people continue to steal. Let’s remove those nuisance laws from the books. What a complete waste of time they are. I’ll just take what I want.
And all those laws about protecting the borders? People ignore them too. Let’s get rid of them. Total waste of time. We’ll just build a bigly wall; biggest wall ever. I know, I know…helicopters, parachutes, ladders, tunnels, walk arounds….yada, yada, yada. But, without gun laws, we’ll be able to simply blow them away. See??? Problem solved. Now why didn’t I think of that?
Burn those laws. Burn Those Laws! BURN THOSE LAWS!
There’s another law that needs to go too. Amazingly, back in 1987, Congress was able to ban lawn darts after a girl was killed playing with them because one embedded into her skull. Yeah…lawn darts…BANNED. I guess there was no ***NRA*** for the lawn dart manufacturers.
But realistically, sometimes we just do the intelligent thing and go along with laws to demonstrate that we’re a part of thinking society and not simply all about our own personal desires and pleasures. Well…some people think that way.
Andrew Heller says
It’s maddening, isn’t it, Bob. That’s exactly why I wrote the column in the first place. They don’t want to discuss or improve things. They just want to regurgitate the NRA memes they’re given. By their thinking, why have murder laws because, duh, murderers don’t follow them and the rest of us shouldn’t have to be burdened by laws against something that criminals will just break. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Andrew Heller says
Jim, I appreciate you so much. What I think we ought to do is declare each and every one of us a sovereign nation. You’re a sovereign nation, I’m a sovereign nation. We’re all independent free agents, free to follow our inner law! Woooooooo! Gonna be fun.
Up in the U.P. says
I guess we should just saturate the unsaturated with guns. Then you have to pick a side.
Then we have a big old shootout.
And at some point in this uncivil civil war, the military steps in.
Then what?
Carnage, it’s the American way. MAGA!
Andrew Heller says
Wooo! What fun! Go, Mer-i-cuh!
NativeOfMichigan says
With all due respect to the descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys, and paraphrasing Ronald Reagan……….
There We Go Again!
Jims says
Answer to gun problem more guns. Answer to drug problem more drugs. Answer to murder problem more murder. Makes sense right JimIII?