Come Heller high water…
• Flint’s water treatment supervisor told lawmakers Tuesday the state assured him corrosion control chemicals weren’t needed when it started using Flint River water, about which the Detroit News wrote: “The state Department of Environmental Quality offered no contradiction.” So if it wasn’t settled before (which it was) that should settle it once and for all: In this game of Clue the state did it in the water plant with a complete and utter lack of competency, compassion and concern. So can we focus now on actually getting things done? Where’s this been? It’s been months and months since the crime was committed and yet little in the way of real, substantive action has taken place. Most lead pipes haven’t been replaced. People are still living out of water bottles. Kids are still poisoned. There are probably hundreds if not thousands who haven’t gotten, won’t or can’t use bottled water and filters. Those who have filters are still probably forgetting to change them. Flint might have been better off if it had suffered an earthquake, which is a disaster people understand. If we’d had an earthquake and no one had usable water there’d be tanker trucks on every block, plumbers and construction workers everywhere, Red Cross tent cities, National Guard public showers, etc. ad nauseam. Where’s all that — and more to the point where’s the sense of urgency? I just don’t get it. The private sector response has been fantastic. (Witness Tom Gores’ FlintNOW effort, the donations, the telethon …) But the state and feds? Not so much. Someday somebody’s going to study the governmental response to this emergency and find it wasn’t treated like an emergency at all. Maybe that’s what you get when the people responsible for the problem are also the ones supposedly fixing it.
• So there was this in the news: “Michigan set a record for liquor sales in 2015, fueled in part by growth in Detroit as an entertainment destination while the craft cocktail movement takes hold in the state.” Craft cocktail movement, my ass. I say people are drinking more to forget the pervasive economic gloom in this state. The Snyder happy-talkers assure us things are better since the recession, and for them maybe they are. But for most, I submit they’re not better at all. People sense it. Don’t you? Glug, glug, glug.
• Hmm, so after rereading those last two paragraphs, it’s pretty clear I have my Krusty Krab Underoos on today, the ones that are two sizes too small. My apologies. But I shall rebound, you watch.
• British Airways just banned a woman for life for getting up too many times during a flight. That’s pretty tough. Imagine if she’d asked for a free glass of water – they might have taken her first-born. Or worse, taken her to court and had her sentenced to a lifetime of sitting in coach.
• See? That wasn’t crabby. Much.
• I’m going to sign the petition calling for people to open carry guns into the GOP convention this summer. People have to be ready to respond in case some kook with a gun decides to exercise his Second Amendment right to express his inner anguish by efficiently spraying gobs of bullets, right? Plus, I believe what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
• OK, but that was. So maybe it’s not a very high rebound, so sue me.
• Burger King is coming out with a red bun, which is completely different than the black bun they put out that turned people’s poop green. This one is far likelier to turn it pretty shades of pink. Why do they think we have an insatiable appetite for crazy amounts of food dye?
• Sen. Lindsey Graham has endorsed his pal and buddy Ted Cruz. And what an endorsement it was. He said: “I don’t dislike Ted. Ted and I have a lot of differences. He’s my 15th choice. What can I say? He’s not completely crazy.” That’s exactly what I said about one of my college girlfriends but I wouldn’t endorse her for president. So why is Graham?
• “The business of life is the acquisitions of memories- that’s all there is.” – Mr. Carson from “Downton Abbey.”
(And no, that’s not me in the photo.)
Tim C says
OK, 2 things. If you saw local media coverage of yesterday’s legislative hearings at the Northbank, you may have not noticed something that screams loud in the ears of many: the panel of 12 or so political leaders were all white and mostly male; the audience was very diverse. We have a bigger problem than bad pipes.
Second thing, maybe we’re drinking more liquor because it’s safer AND cheaper than the water….
Andrew Heller says
True on both counts!
Tim C says
Pretty sure the kid with the A is you, just guessin…..
Andrew Heller says
Nope.
Jim S. says
Graham is just disgusted with his whole party. I think there was a lot of sarcasm in that endorsement. Give the guy credit he does have some sense about him even if he is a Republican.
Sue says
This is not the first time I’ve thought, “Boy, I hope you or someone is sending these columns to the governor, his staff, the MDEQ, MDHHS, Mayor Weaver, President Obama, Hillary, Bernie, Senators Stabenow and Peters, etc.”. Keep ‘me coming, Andy. You are right on. Crusty isn’t all that bad.
Andrew Heller says
So you’re saying I shouldn’t cut off the crust?
Andrew Heller says
OH, and they’re very aware of everything written about them. They Google grab every mention. I’m not a favorite in the governor’s office.
jbcsfl says
Trump is on record many times for stating that no one is a greater defender of the second amendment than him.
All hell will break loose once the GOP powers announce a brokered convention.
Let them have their guns at the GOP convention, the good guys with guns will blow away the bad guys with guns and we will all be safer when they are done shooting each other up.
Trump and his minions will deny anything happened as the rest of the country and the world look on in total disbelief.
Too bad that the Secret Service has already decided that no guns will be allowed, it would have been interesting to see how everyone would have acted if they were allowed to brandish their weaponry.
Andrew Heller says
Honestly, why does the Secret Service get to trump (excuse the term) state law and official Republican policy?
Judith Brooks says
Keep wearing the Krusty Krab underoos. Agree with your comments, complaints, and logic.
Tony says
Ha ha ha! Great reading.
Linda Ann says
I agree too! This is too funny! I am still laughing, and I really needed a good laugh today!
Thanks Andy!
Jim III says
Fine, by me if you think that allowing guns into the republican convention. The problem is that a whole lot of liberal, HRC and Bernie supporters will show up armed to the teeth looking for a chance to start shooting. It is the HRC and Bernie supporters who are the violent ones.
Years ago and it is still being pushed by the gun grabbers that if you allow legal, law abiding citizens to open and or conceal carry that the blood would flow in the streets from all the shootouts that would occur.
Well, in a sense they are correct, but it is not the law abiding citizens that are shooting up the streets in America.
It is the gang bangers and other assorted persons in democratic run cities like Chicago, L.A. and other democratic run cities that are doing all the shooting.
Funny thing is that those cities have very strict gun control laws.
Those laws actually restrict the law abiding citizen. Those laws do not affect the lawless, because the lawless do not obey the laws.
Tom Backus says
You have a career in fiction writing ahead of you.
Jim IIII says
I read a report this weekend that says if Chicago keeps on going on the rate of murders/shooting that they are having so far this year the killings/murders will top 500 this year.
Tom Backus you are a liberal who is in denial of life.
These shootings/homicides are being committed by gang bangers and others who ignore the laws of the land.
If by some small slim chance that a law abiding peaceful legally armed citizen shoots and kills a gang banger, it will because the gang banger started shooting. The law abiding citizen was defending him/herself because of the actions of a lawbreaking felon.
More than likely in Chicago land the law abiding citizen will be charged with some sort of crime and liberals like you more than likely will want the death penalty applied.
Tom Backus says
Like I said, you are a great fiction writer. First of all, you can glean so much about me by one comment? You truly are amazing. I have worked in criminal justice for over 30 years. You aren’t qualified to judge anything about me. I will leave it at that because I don’t like to feed the trolls.
A.H. Poellet says
Andrew, we need more snarling, barking, and ornery dogs. Keep it up… relentlessly…. Uncle Mort